Jason Greenslate has become America's most prominent public figure who favors a do-rag and surfing slang since Caleb "Kai" McGillvary, the hitchhiking Internet hero turned New Jersey murder suspect. Greenslate's transgressions are less criminal than culinary: Fox News' cameras captured him buying supermarket sushi and lobster (albeit "on special," he noted) with his food-stamp card.
Greenslate, a San Diego-area surfer and aspiring rock star with no dependents or identifiable means of support, told Fox that the government's willingness to subsidize his meals is "radical," in the colloquial sense. He soon found his way into congressional talking points portraying federal food assistance as radical, in the political sense. One briefing hinted of an army of crustacean-consuming Greenslates storming our shores on a tidal wave of ill-gotten benefits. "Newscasts tell stories of young surfers who aren't working, but cash their food stamps in for lobster," said the memo from House Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy (R., Calif.).