Pretend rape is a bad idea

Posted: October 11, 2013

Q: MY GIRLFRIEND confessed that she fantasizes about intruder sex. You know, she's out, and some guy follows her home and he roughs me up before they fall into bed and make love passionately. It's not exactly a rape fantasy, since it winds up being consensual. Yeah, I know it's freaky but I'd love to surprise her. I'm thinking of getting one of my buddies who she doesn't know to help me out. What do you think?

Mia: Don't do it! Once you see her boinking another man, you'll never look at her the same. Some fantasies are better off staying fantasies.

Steve: And if someone sees this developing and thinks it's a an actual rape and calls the cops, then what? Mia's right, skip this one.

Q: The guy I'm dating showed up at my job looking like his clothing came from the 1980s. Everything he had on was completely out of date. His lapels were too wide. So was his tie. His loafers even had a little heel on them. I know he was out of work for a while and never has been one to spend much on clothes. I've been thinking of taking him to Macy's and buying him a whole new set of clothes, just so he won't embarrass me the next time we go out. But the last time I did that for a guy, he wound up wearing a shirt I bought him on a date with another girl. (I saw a photo of him wearing it with her on his Facebook page.) So, would I be a fool to dress him up or should I let him go around looking like someone from "Back to the Future?"

Mia: Don't dress any man who's not your husband! Think about it. If you make him look all good - he'll not just look good to you but to other women, too. Don't be a dummy. Hang on to your money and let dude look the way he looks. Once you're serious and committed, then think about shining him up. Until then, look past the scruffy.

Steve: That's the way it always goes, first your money, then your clothes. As long as he doesn't start wearing platform shoes with goldfish swimming in the heels, just chill.


Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M@phillynews.com or S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.

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