"Rollerball"? "Arthur"? "The Longest Yard"? Come on.
But all of that silliness pales in comparison to this latest proposed remake from the History Channel.
Now that we've seen "Django Unchained" and "12 Years a Slave," a stark-naked Kunta Kinte can get beaten to a bloody welt but then rise up to shoot his master.
History said yesterday that it had reached a deal with Mark Wolper, whose father, David, made the groundbreaking 1977 miniseries, to acquire the rights to remake it. The project is in development, meaning that there's a possibility it won't get greenlit, but the commitment makes it likely the new series will appear sometime in 2015.
Why, History, why? We can only guess it's because those who don't learn History are doomed to repeat it.
A Marvel-ous Muslim
Marvel Comics is bringing Ms. Marvel back as a 16-year-old daughter of Pakistani immigrants living in Jersey City named Kamala Khan.
The character - among the first to be a series protagonist who is both a woman and Muslim - is part of Marvel's effort to reflect a growing diversity among its readers while keeping a hold on the contemporary relevance that has underlined its foundation since the creation of Spider-Man and the X-Men in the early 1960s.
Editor Sana Amanat calls the series a "desire to explore the Muslim-American diaspora from an authentic perspective," and what it means to be young and lost amid expectations by others, while also telling the story of a teenager coming to grips with having amazing powers.
"It's for all the geek girls out there and everybody else who's ever looked at life from the fringe."
* Paula Abdul is scaling down her bat mitzvah.
There goes the Katy Perry theme so many of the cool Jewish girls are using.
Paula went to Israel to connect to her Jewish roots and for her belated bat mitzvah, but Israel's Tourism Ministry, which is hosting her, said she made last-minute changes to her packed itinerary because she's jet-lagged (and struggling with her haftorah portion).
The ministry said Paula was planning to hold a high-profile ceremony at Jerusalem's Western Wall, the holiest place where Jews can pray, but instead had a private weekend affair in the northern town of Safed.
Officiating Rabbi Eyal Riess, of the Tzfat Kabbalah Center, said that Paula wanted to escape the media circus for a more intimate ceremony.
* Lady Gaga and her West Philly-raised manager, Troy Carter, have split just days before she releases her new album, "ARTPOP."
An unnamed source familiar with the situation confirms that the two have split over creative differences.
Carter signed Gaga in 2007 and the two have worked together since, as Gaga went from "Poker Face" to what-is-that-on-your-face?
* Wes Anderson's new movie, "The Grand Budapest Hotel," will open the 2014 Berlin Film Festival.
Festival organizers said yesterday that the event kicks off on Feb. 6 with the world premiere of the movie, which stars Ralph Fiennes, Adrien Brody, Jude Law and Edward Norton.
The Berlin event is the first of the year's major European film festivals. Director Dieter Kosslick said: "With unmistakable Wes Anderson charm, this comedy promises to kick things off in a big way."
* Rocker Lou Reed's will was filed Monday in a New York City court. It leaves his Manhattan penthouse, his home in East Hampton, N.Y., and the bulk of his estate to his wife, musician Laurie Anderson. Reed's sister inherits about a quarter of his estate and a $500,000 bequest aimed at caring for their mother.
* Rapper DMX has been arrested again in South Carolina.
A spokeswoman for the Greenville-Spartanburg International Airport says airport police arrested DMX (a/k/a Earl Simmons) just after 5 p.m. Monday.
Rosylin Weston says officers familiar with DMX's driving record arrested him after seeing him behind the wheel.
Jail records show that Simmons was booked on charges of driving under suspension, having an uninsured vehicle and not having a licensed vehicle - a bad-driving trifecta.
- Daily News wire services contributed to this report.
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