Steve: OK, let's assume you've checked her finger and there are no wedding or engagement rings. The next step would be simply to say, "Would you like to grab lunch sometime?" If she says something like, "I'd love to, but I'm so busy with work I eat at my desk," that means she's letting you down easy. But even so, I doubt that would ruin your train friendship.
Mia: Be bold! Ask her out. If she slaps you down, be lighthearted about it. But something tells me, she's not going to do that. You'd better start thinking about where you want to take her. Write back and tell us what happens.
Q: I put an old video in the VCR and saw some stuff I never should have seen. It was my live-in boyfriend going at it in bed with his ex. I can't stop thinking about it and comparing their sex life to ours. We have a kid and have been together three years, so we're not exactly swinging from the chandelier any more. Should I tell my boyfriend what I've seen? Or keep my mouth shut, so he doesn't think I'm a jealous snoop?
Mia: Face it. You are a jealous snoop. Now, you need to get over yourself and whatever it was you saw on that video before you wreck your relationship. As for telling, I'm all about full disclosure. Tell him what you've seen. If you're lucky, he'll go into overdrive explaining how you're so much sexier and so much more beautiful than his ex. If he doesn't, well, it's going to take a little longer for you to recover from the shock of what you've seen. Good luck girl!
Steve: He should've destroyed that tape. And you shouldn't have snooped. My advice: Pretend none of this happened. As a great Honolulu detective once observed, "Can of worms tastes best unopened."
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M@phillynews.com or S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.