Miley opened the show at the Ziggo Dome in Amsterdam wearing a space-themed silver spandex dress and twerked with a female dwarf dressed in black bondage gear while singing her hit single "We Can't Stop."
Well, she's certainly right about that.
She can't stop.
At one point, according to BANGShowbiz.com, Miley grabbed the woman's breast and slapped her butt, before a group of "aliens" burst onto the stage to help open the show with an intergalactic bang.
Miley finished off the number by sticking out her enormous, Gene Simmons-sized tongue. Next she performed her other hit, "Wrecking Ball," wearing a revealing white leotard, while a video montage of her crying played in the background.
But, heck, this was Amsterdam.
Accepting her Best Video gong for "Wrecking Ball," Miley drew gasps from the crowd when she lit up what appeared to be a joint.
"I couldn't fit this award in my bag," Miley said, "but I did find this."
As for Malala, her new book I Am Malala has been banned in private schools across Pakistan by the government, which claims it doesn't show enough respect for Islam and calls her a tool of the West.
Conspiracy theorists in Pakistan go so far as to state Malala's shooting was staged to create a hero for the West to embrace.
And the Holocaust didn't happen.
And we never landed on the moon.
And Elvis is alive. But Paul is dead.
Maybe Miley is right. We can't stop.
* Zuri Edwards, the son of Patti LaBelle, told a Texas jury on Friday that he was hit in the face by a man at a Houston airport terminal after the man shouted racial slurs at his mother.
Edwards testified in the misdemeanor-assault trial of his mother's bodyguard, Efrem Holmes, who hit Richard King at the Bush Intercontinental Airport in 2011.
According to Houston's KTRK-TV, Edwards testified that King was "intoxicated, loud, obnoxious" and was hurling racial epithets at his mother. Then, he said, "I am instantly struck on my face, on the right side of my face."
Holmes' attorneys have said their client was defending LaBelle and Edwards from King's onslaught.
King, 23, a West Point cadet, had a blood-alcohol level of .28 percent, almost 3 1/2 times Texas' legal threshold for intoxication, and has testified that he does not remember what happened the day of the airport incident.
* DMX (a/k/a Earl Simmons) is usually in Tattle because he's done something wrong behind the wheel.
Today it's because a federal judge in New York has tossed his bankruptcy filing, making him fair game for creditors.
The Journal News reports that a bankruptcy judge in White Plains dismissed DMX's July 29 Chapter 11 filing on Friday.
DMX's biggest debt is $1.3 million in child support owed to some of the 10 children he has fathered.
* Now that the Britannia Awards are part of the TV landscape, "There are more than 35 Hollywood awards shows on prime-time TV," said Tom O'Neil, founder and editor of awards website GoldDerby.com.
Thirty-five seems like too many. Then again, how many country-music awards shows are there?
* Lady Gaga has told People magazine she wants at least three kids.
But please don't let her dress them.
* Per thehollywoodgossip.com, Beyonce fans have started a petition urging her to skip the Kim- Kanye wedding.
Yes, some people do have a lot of spare time.
* You oughta know that Alanis Morissette hopes to adapt her 1995 breakthrough album "Jagged Little Pill" for the Broadway stage. A workshop is planned for next year.
* Gabriela Isler, a 25-year-old Venezuelan who appears on Venezuelan TV and is an accomplished flamenco dancer, is the new Miss Universe.
Isler was crowned Saturday night outside of Moscow.
Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro congratulated Isler on Twitter, calling her title a "triumph" for Venezuela, a country that has now won three of the last six Miss Universe pageants.
In fact, Venezuela has won more major international beauty competitions than any other nation, and beauty pageants rank alongside baseball as the country's most-followed diversion.
Hey, if you're going to have two major exports, oil and beautiful women are not bad choices.
* The CEO of Lionsgate Films says that theme parks based on "The Hunger Games" are a possibility, reports the Hollywood Reporter.
Just stay out of the food court.
- Daily News wire services
contributed to this report.
On Twitter: @DNTattle