Folks started heading for the exits after Portland (20-4) outscored the Sixers (7-18) by 40-15 in the decisive third quarter.
The loss was their sixth straight and 14th in 16 games.
This setback, however, put them in the record books.
The Blazers made 21 of 37 three-pointers to set the franchise record for made threes. It also tied a Sixers record for the most three-pointers given up in a single game. They also surrendered 21 three-pointers against the Toronto Raptors on March 13, 2005.
The Sixers also tied an NBA record by giving up 15 or more three-pointers in five games in a single season, a mark held by the 2004-05 Los Angeles Lakers and the 2008-09 Raptors.
"They play with such great pace, and they can shoot," Sixers coach Brett Brown said of the Blazers. "I give them credit. . . . Our lack of energy, I think, [had] as much to do [with] it as anything.
"But we give them credit."
Dorell Wright had a big hand in giving his former team records they never wanted. The reserve forward, who played for the Sixers last season, made 5 of 5 treys to finish with 15 points.
Starting guards Damian Lillard and Wesley Matthews had four three-pointers apiece to score 16 and 14 points, respectively.
But Portland didn't dominate only at the perimeter, as all five starters finished with double-digit points. Power forward LaMarcus Aldridge ended with game highs of 20 points and 16 rebounds.
Hollis Thompson paced the Sixers with 17 points. Turner was held to three points on 1-for-7 shooting.
But the game was competitive in the first half.
The Blazers took a 71-64 halftime lead after 17 lead changes and 15 ties.
"It's fool's gold," Brown said of the first half. "It looks good, everybody's tied. They score. We score. They score. We score. That's not how you are going to play with the team we have."
Michael Carter-Williams missed his sixth consecutive game because of soreness and a skin infection on the front of his right knee.
"Slowly, at some point in the not too distant future, he will start practicing," Brown said, "and we'll build him up to a playing level. And I think that's closer. There really is no exact time line, yet."
Brown said the team was being cautious.
"No matter what injury somebody had, you are not just going to throw him into the fire," the coach said. "With Michael especially, now at this stage of him and the program and so on, you take the extra mile and make sure we are smart with it. Inch him back into the whole thing."
Carter-Williams also missed four games earlier this season with a bruised arch in his left foot.