To his credit, Sprouse, who is enrolled at NYU and also had parts in "Big Daddy" and "Friends," didn't defer to a publicist about the pix, which he said he didn't leak. Instead, he made a couple of jokey tweets, slept on it and published a thoughtful day-after blog post about the "odd taboo with the human form."
He noted that post-post, he's gained social-media followers: 200K on Twitter, 40K on Tumbler and 20K on Instagram.
He also waxed philosophical: "I'll make it clear my intent was for this not to happen, and how it has affected me so positively is an enigma to me that rings true of the human condition."
Dang, Dylan. That's how you turn a slipup into a grade-A dissertation.
But Sprouse's 15-minutes-younger twin , Cole ("Cody" on their show), took a more brotherly approach.
He tweeted, "Cold in the bathroom, huh?"
Charlie Sheen blamed ex-wife Denise Richards for separating him from their children for Christmas. To display his disappointment, he slashed the couple's wedding-souvenir baseball bat, a Rawlings inscribed with their names and the date of their marriage.
He took a photo of the sliced lumber (who knew a bat's insides kinda resemble pepperoni?!) alongside a scary knife and an unexplained mini bottle of Tabasco sauce.
He also referred to his ex as "#DuhNeese."
Chuck, since you're obviously reading: Commemorating your nuptials with a sporting good whose second most popular usage is beating objects and/or bodies was not the smartest keepsake of a holy union.
Next, even though Richards said that she would have liked you to join her and your daughters for the holidays, now that you've dissed her, she's probably not so into that whole idea.
In another surefire marital success, "Real Housewife of D.C." Michaele Salahi wed Journey guitarist Neal Schon on Sunday in San Francisco in a pay-per-view ceremony: $14.95 for three hours.
Salahi was a short-lived headliner on the Bravo reality show, canceled after one season. But she'll forever be known for going on camera in 2009 while crashing the Obama White House's first state dinner with former husband Tareq Salahi.
This go-round, Sammy Hagar, Brian McKnight, Bob Weir and Omarosa Manigault came to the ceremony.
Surely the fifth marriage will be the charm for Schon, a recent inductee to the vaunted Oklahoma Music Hall of Fame.
Another One Direction down
Girls of the world heaved a simultaneous sob upon confirmation that Niall Horan of the very-top U.K. boy band One Direction seems to be spending free time with Victoria's Secret model Barbara Palvin.
Trust us, ladies. It won't last. Your chance is totally next.
A Miley moment
On today's Miley Cyrus watch, something slightly less disturbing than her dressing a la sexy Mrs. Claus for NYC's Jingle Ball:
As part of " Barbara Walters Presents the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2013" (6ABC, 9:30 p.m. tomorrow), the former Hannah Montana and current twerking sensation speaks from the heart about her four-year engagement to "Hunger Games" hunk Liam Hemsworth.
The couple broke up earlier this year, not long after they spent several weeks in Philly, where they stayed in semisecret at Washington Square's St. James. (Rumor has it, employees of the building's Starbucks sneaked her in via a back door.)
These days, said the Wrecking Ball, well, wreck, "I wait for those moments of silence, when I'm just at my house, by myself."
Tattle waits for those same moments, Miley. And then we turn on the TV, and see you, rubbing up on something you shouldn't.
-Daily News wire services contributed to this report.
Howard Gensler has the day off.