Will new relationship go bi-bi?

Posted: February 21, 2014

Q: I'M a gay man who recently met a guy on Jack'd (a gay social app). At first, it was nothing serious. It was just for sex. I'm a strict top. He's a bottom.

But last month, I saw him out with his daughter (he's bisexual), and I found myself looking at him in a different way. I think he did the same with me once he saw me all dressed up in business clothes.

What concerns me is that he says he still has urges for women. We've been seeing each other for the last couple of weeks, and I'm wondering if things could ever work out between us.

Mia: It's possible. But before you start worrying about tomorrow, why not slow your roll and concentrate on today? You two barely know each other. Take your time.

Peel the layers back on this guy's personality while he does the same with yours. Enjoy the process. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Steve: Whether he's bi or gay won't determine his loyalty to you. The quality of your relationship will.

Q: My girlfriend and I practice safe sex, except for when it comes to oral sex. I don't even know where to find a dental dam. She never says anything when she does me, so I don't bring it up.

In the back of my mind, I wonder if we're being stupid? We broke up a while ago but got back together about a month ago.

Mia: Did you know you can make a dental dam? Just cut the tip off an unlubricated condom and cut down one side. You'll wind up with a flat piece of latex. The next time you have a date night, make a couple in advance.

To protect your girlfriend during oral sex, stock up on flavored condoms. Also, you really should get tested so that you both know your HIV status. Limiting the number of sex partners either of you has also reduces your risk.

Steve: Getting tested for HIV is step one. Kudos to you for being concerned about safe sex.


Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M@phillynews.com or S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.

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