He didn't even have to write an original song.
Ocean's freelance gig was supposed to promote local and sustainably sourced food for the fresh-Mex fast foodery.
The assignment was due in August.
The song-rewriter didn't deliver. He pulled out of the deal, appalled that Chipotle planned to place its logo at the end of the three-minute advertisement for . . . Chipotle.
Friday, the burrito chain sued the musician for the money they paid him for a job he didn't do. Imagine that.
Yesterday, he wrote them a check.
Ocean posted its image online. In the "for" section, he wrote "FRIG OFF." Except he didn't use "frig."
Just. Like. Us.
The biggest thing going on the Internet yesterday was not the 22-pound cat that trapped a family in a room.
Nor was it the outrage that "Bachelor" Nation expressed at large-bicepped, small-minded Juan Pablo Galavis for Monday night's endless episodes, wherein he talked dirty to one finalist and dared not to propose to the other.
(Other reasons "Bach" fans were mad: He dumped a bunch of girls on TV. How dare him! Oh wait. That's the show's premise.)
Nope, more popular than all that was the website Funny or Die's latest episode of "Between Two Ferns." The faux-show's host, Zach Galifianakis, interviewed President Obama.
POTUS: "Now, I have to say that I've seen this show before, and some of the episodes have probably been a little bit better than this. For example, the one with Bradley Cooper. That was a great show . . . "
ZG: "Yeah, everybody loves Bradley. Good for him."
POTUS: "Good lookin' guy."
ZG: "Being like that in Hollywood? That's easy. Tall and handsome? That's easy. Be short and fat and smell like Doritos and try and make it in Hollywood."
Watch it. LOL.
Then, remember: Cooper was once a run-of-the-mill Daily News intern.
Just another guy from Rydal.
Just like us.
Demme does Philly
Oscar-winning director Jonathan Demme ("The Silence of the Lambs," "Philadelphia") is coming back to town to sell 90 percent of his art collection. On March 29-30, global shelter store Material Culture, just off Wissahickon Avenue and Roosevelt Boulevard, in Nicetown, will auction off dozens of pieces by Haitian and other Caribbean self-taught artists.
The week before, the paintings et al will be on display there.
A portion of the sale proceeds will go to Port-au-Prince art cooperative Centre d'Art, which was destroyed in the 2010 earthquake.
The auctioneers expect sales to top $1 million.
Or something. Rolling Stones guitarist and walking miracle Keith Richards announced plans yesterday to collaborate on a children's book with granddaughter-illustrator Theodora Richards.
They're telling a story about a little boy in London whose grandfather gives him his very first guitar. Gus & Me is based on Richards' childhood.
There are a couple of guys writing the tale. But, really. Who cares about them? They are just authors.
Book due out in September.
On the heels of the world's most awkward deposition, just after we watched him reunite with lady love Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber learned he's expected in court in Miami on May 5.
He's charged with driving under the influence, resisting arrest and possessing an invalid driver's license.
He's pleading not guilty.
We're pleading for a short trial.
- Daily News wire services contributed to this report.
Howard Gensler has the day off.
On Twitter: @LaMcCutch