What to do with pushy men

Posted: March 21, 2014

Q: I'm a college student trying to figure a few things out. One of them is, why do some guys force your head down while you're having oral sex? I find this disrespectful. Am I reading too much into this? Also, a hot guy in my dorm texted me a picture of his penis. It totally grossed me out. Aside from avoiding him, how should I handle this?

Mia: Ah, the dreaded head push. That's easy enough to fix. You do it by putting on your big girl panties and telling these dudes to stop.

Don't be timid about it.

The cave men you've been with probably picked their moves up from some porn site and think that's the game plan. Tell them no pushing. I'll bet they stop.

As for the guy who sent you a photo of his genitals, resist the impulse to text him back and say, "Is that all you've got?" Just tell him if he continues sending X-rated pictures of himself, you'll report him to school authorities.

Steve: Sex is a two-way street but not everyone knows the directions. That's why each partner needs to speak up as soon as a misstep occurs. You can tell a guy gently when you don't like something. If he's a nice guy, he'll ask what you do like.

Q: I got divorced last year, but whenever my ex comes to spend time with the kids, we wind up having hot, crazy sex. It's like it was back when we first got married and couldn't keep our hands off each other.

I'm seeing someone, but it's nothing serious, and he is dating multiple women as far as I can tell. I don't know for sure, though, because I've never asked. What do you think of this. Are we weird?

Mia: You're not weird but sex with an ex is tricky when children are involved. It gives them false hope that mommy and daddy might get back together. If you're going to go back down memory lane, do it when the young'uns aren't home. Also, make sure you use protection since you're both involved with other people.

Steve: Having sex with an ex is bad because: There's a reason you broke up in the first place. And that reason will return, often with a passion, whether it's unreliability, manipulation, rage, selfishness, whatever. I recommend you skip the ex sex.


Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M@phillynews.com or S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.

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