Or drive. (It's about 12 hours, kind of like driving from Philly to Hilton Head, S.C., without going through Geneva and Milan.)
Oh, the indignity.
As for Kim, she can't figure out what air-traffic controllers do, since Kanye controls everything.
* While doing some prewedding prep in Paris, Us Weekly reports (with photos), Kim and Kanye enjoyed Haagen-Dazs ice-cream cones.
Yes, that was actually a story.
Far more interesting is the story of Haagen-Dazs itself, created by immigrants in the Bronx in 1961, sold to Pillsbury in 1983, later bought out by General Mills, and presently licensed to Nestle.
Since Tattle grew up in the Bronx, we're big fans of Haagen-Dazs. But who goes to Paris, where you can get croissants that melt on your tongue, and buys mass-produced ice cream? What are they going to serve at their Italian wedding? Olive Garden?
Abel Ferrara's movie "Welcome to New York," inspired by the sex scandal involving the former IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn, hosted a party at Nikki Beach on the Croisette at Cannes, mirroring the film's lurid subject matter. Ferrara partied with guests who donned white bath robes, and party bags came with complimentary S&M whips, handcuffs, condoms and even tablets labeled "Viagra."
No reason to let an accusation of sexual assault get in the way of a good party.
* Also at Cannes, the cast of "Expendables 3" - Sly Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Antonio Banderas, Jason Statham, etc. - made a spectacular debut yesterday, rolling down the Croisette in tanks.
The last time there were tanks in Cannes is probably 1944, when the U.S. Army arrived to start booting out the Germans.
And for a little historical perspective, that was before Stallone was even born.
Never the Twain shall meet
A state panel in Nevada has effectively killed a bid to name a Lake Tahoe cove for Mark Twain, citing opposition from the Washoe Tribe of Nevada and California, which claims he held racist views on Native Americans.
The Nevada State Board on Geographic Names this week voted to indefinitely table the request after hearing opposition from the tribe, whose ancestral homeland includes Tahoe.
Tribal representative Darrel Cruz says that Twain is undeserving of the honor because he made derogatory comments about the Washoe and other tribes in his literature.
University of Nevada, Reno, history professor emeritus James Hulse says it's irrelevant whether Twain did so because his writings were insulting to everyone.
Francis gone wild . . . again
"Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis has been arrested on suspicion of assault after getting into a scuffle, the Los Angeles Times reports.
Los Angeles police Sgt. John Juarez told the Times that Francis was arrested Friday evening at an office building on Wilshire Boulevard after some "pushing and shoving."
Francis filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last year after years of legal troubles and was issued a "stay away" order by a bankruptcy judge.
Juarez told the newspaper that police were investigating whether Francis' presence at the building violated the restraining order.
Online jail records show that Francis was released Saturday on $20,000 bail.
* Costumes from the "X-Men" movie franchise are now part of the National Museum of American History's collection.
Patrick Stewart, who plays Professor X in the movies, was in Washington, D.C., on Saturday afternoon to donate the costumes.
Among the selections are costumes worn by Stewart; Ian McKellen, as Magneto; Hugh Jackman, as Wolverine; and Halle Berry, as Storm.
Museum director John Gray says the costumes and props will help the museum tell the story of the American superhero genre - because even museums have to drive traffic, and kids don't want to see actual historical artifacts.
* University of New Hampshire graduate Jennifer Lee, the screenwriter and director of the Disney film "Frozen," told UNH graduates during their commencement Saturday to do away with self-doubt.
Tattle's not sure that's such a good idea.
But maybe it is.
- Daily News wire services
contributed to this report.
On Twitter: @DNTattle