Yes, it's big enough!

Posted: June 06, 2014

Q: My boyfriend is wonderful but a little depressed about the size of his "equipment." He thinks he's too small and can't pleasure me. When I tell him he does, he kind of looks like a puppy and says, "But I'm so small." Like Mia, I've been around the block a few times. I know he's big enough. But how can I tell him how I know without coming off like a total slut?

Mia: Just remind him of that old saying, "It's not the size of the ship, but the motion in the ocean." And tell him that in terms of size, he's normal. If he tries to slut shame you, dump his butt.

Don't waste time with a guy who's insecure and judgmental.

Steve: I prefer the 1951 song "It Ain't the Meat (It's the Motion)" by the Swallows, although Southside Johnny's 1976 cover ain't bad.

Q: My girlfriend and I can't agree, and it may be the end of us. She had a fight with a woman 13 years ago, before we met. I know the woman - we grew up in the same neighborhood - and she's an ex of a good friend of mine. The things my girlfriend told me that happened were horrible. My girlfriend was antagonized for a year. I was hanging out in one of the two bars I frequent one Friday night recently, and my girlfriend's enemy was having a party there. I had no prior knowledge of the party and didn't think anything of it. Later, my girlfriend asked about my night and I told her all about it. To my surprise, she flipped out. She said I wasn't loyal because I should have left when I saw her enemy's party there. I didn't even speak to the woman! Now my girlfriend's broken up with me. I sympathize with my girlfriend, but I don't think it's fair that I have to end my night because her enemy is there. This fight happened 13 years ago. All her friends and family are siding with her. Should I carry the same grudge that my girlfriend carries? I told her that she just wanted to break up with me and this is a convenient excuse. Oh yeah, I owe $2,400 on an $11,000 engagement ring, too. I was planning on asking her to marry me for her birthday.

Steve: The technical term for your girlfriend is cray cray. Take the ring back to the store and get as much money back on it as you can. Then take a nice vacation to a place where there are lots of single women.

Mia: Steve's right. Girlfriend did you a favor by dumping you. Run! You can't do anything with a woman who's stuck on stupid like that.


Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M@phillynews.com or S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.

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