What the eff?

Posted: July 15, 2014

THE "bombs bursting in air" over the Parkway during the July 4th concert were F-bombs. Mayor Nutter's response was a misfire.

Given what's hit this town lately - guns in public schools, kids killed in fires, homes collapsing, the endless school-budget crisis - some foul comments won't kill us, but it paints a picture of a vulgarity-tolerant culture.

Criticizing cursing in public venues will cost me my cool edge with the hip kids, I know. (I also know "cool" isn't cool and "hip" isn't hip - but that's how I roll.)

Nutter's reaction was ambivalent to Ed Sheeran-furnished F-bombs, Nicki Minaj's MFers and other vulgarities.

On the one hand, he said that the contract required acts to be family safe (the city couldn't produce the contractual language for me last week). On the other hand, Nutter told KYW NewsRadio, "People have the choice to either not participate while that artist is on, or not be around, or go to the bathroom."

That's pretty snotty. If you didn't want to hear obscenities (in a family safe, city-sponsored show), you were free to leave.

I expect that from Mixmaster Mike, not my mayor.

Nutter promised a city "review," led by City Rep Desiree Peterkin Bell, Nutter spokesman Mark McDonald told me, sort of suggesting that bad words maybe hadn't been uttered, but failed to produce a show tape last week.

Here's what Mayor Bykofsky would have said: "I apologize for the bad language. The contract specifies family-safe entertainment. Mr. Sheeran and Ms. Minaj violated the contract and we are demanding a refund of a portion of their fee to be donated to the Free Library. I regret my staff hired these lowlifes. We will hire entertainers who understand appropriate behavior in the future."

I didn't know that Sheeran (who looks like a Muppet in tattoo sleeves) was an F-bombardier. He sings with Taylor Swift. (Note to Nutter: Hire Taylor next year. She appeals to girls/young women without turning into a tart.)

Maybe it's a Mayoral Thing.

When the L.A. Kings won the Stanley Cup, Mayor Eric Garcetti, at a rally televised live, called it "a big f---ing day."

This was different from when Chase Utley dropped the F-bomb after winning the World Series. Utley was caught up in the moment. Garcetti spoke long after the moment. Utley is a second baseman. Garcetti is a mayor.

What the eff is going on? (Notice that the Daily News, no stranger to colorful language, prohibits some words. And we should.)

In 2012, at a news conference following a shooting prior to our July 4th celebration, Nutter said that he wasn't going to let the city's image be ruined be "some little a--hole 16-year-old."

He prefers to do it himself? He's used the A-word more than once.

About the same time that Nutter went blue in 2012, then-New York Mayor Nanny Bloomberg was reading some bland remarks in advance of the annual hot dog-eating contest. He interrupted himself to ask, "Who wrote this s---?"

Um, someone you hired, Mr. Mayor. (Bloomberg's remark did seem spontaneous.)

In 2010, when VP Joe Biden whispered to President Obama that "this is a big f------ deal" about Obamacare, he didn't know his remarks would be picked up by a mike.

Also oblivious to a live mike was President G.W. Bush when he described a New York Times reporter as a "major league a--hole."

Cursing in your private moments, or in the company of like-minded adults (as I do), is OK. Turning a city-sponsored concert into a Philth Phest is not.

Adults know when to curse; immature pinheads do not.

And that's the effing truth.

Email: stubyko@phillynews.com

Phone: 215-854-5977

On Twitter: @StuBykofsky

Blog: ph.ly/Byko

Columns: ph.ly/StuBykofsky

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