Advice

What puzzles Harry Gaines is that we typically plan our vacations with more care than we plan the rest of our lives, especially when it comes to health and fitness. Too often we neglect to make the investment in exercise that will pay rich dividends in well-being in our 70s, 80s, and beyond. Gaines, 74, a retired textbook-publishing executive who lives half the year in Newtown, Bucks County, and the other half in Florida, keeps a "bucket list" — goals and experiences he hopes to accomplish before he kicks the proverbial bucket.

In rejecting PSA screening for prostate cancer, an influential federal panel has chipped a cornerstone of preventive medicine, declaring that it's not always best to catch cancer as early as possible. "At best, PSA screening may help only 1 man in 1,000 avoid death from prostate cancer," the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force said Monday. "Most prostate cancers found by PSA screening are slow growing, not life threatening, and will not cause a man any harm during his lifetime.

DEAR ABBY : When I was in middle school, I was pretty much an outcast. In the summer between eighth grade and high school, I read a Dear Abby column where you offered advice to someone who was shy like me. You recommended that the writer smile and greet people every day. When I got to high school, I took your advice. Your column changed my life. During my senior year I became involved in drama, choir and sports, and I was elected student body president. I am now a mom with two children.

Geoffrey Canada, president and chief executive officer of the Harlem Children's Zone, wears many hats — and changes them quickly. "I'll go from sitting with a parent because they're worried their son will get shot, to sitting with a billionaire who is thinking it would be smart to help my organization, just minutes apart," he said. For Canada, whose nonprofit runs charter schools and community programs, rapidly switching gears is but one aspect of being a successful leader.

RE THE letter about the 37-year police officer who isn't covered for a transplant or anti-rejection drugs: I'm a transplant recipient from a police family. My brother donated his kidney to me nine years ago. Medicaid covered both of us, the operation and hospital stay. As for the anti-rejection drugs, I know the police plan will cover the cyclosporine. If he is on Medicare, it is approved. If he was in the military and enlisted in the VA program, the VA will approve a generic.

Unacustomed as we are to giving advice to the rich and tacky, here's a piece of good counsel for Ivana Trump, who was last seen waving a large check from the vulgar lout to whom she used to be married. Ivana, do not, repeat do not, celebrate until that check clears.

In light of Sept. 11 and the ongoing "war on terror," what advice do you have for the Class of 2002? Send essays of about 100 words by May 27, including a phone number for verification, to Voices/Class of 2000, The Inquirer, Box 41705, Philadelphia, Pa. 19101. Send e-mail to inquirer.letters@phillynews.com and faxes to 215-854-4483. Questions? Call Kevin Ferris, readers' editor, at 215-854-4543.

As June approaches, many couples are preparing for their wedding day. What advice do you have for them as they start a new life together? What are the keys to a successful marriage? Send replies of 100 to 200 words, including your address and phone number, by May 9 to Voices/Marriage, The Inquirer, Box 41705, Philadelphia, Pa. 19101. Send faxes to 215-854-5884 and e-mail to voices@phillynews.com.

Pope John Paul II has exhorted the world not to exploit women in the work force. He has called existing legislation "leaving much to be desired" (The Inquirer, Dec. 14). As head of one of the largest religions in the world, he refuses to allow women to become priests, altar girls or even church ushers. His good advice should be implemented in the Catholic Church as an example to the rest of the world. His actions would have more impact than his words. Eleanore Morrow Yardley.

INDEX Business. . . A10 Comics. . . C4 Lotteries. . . E12 Marketplace. . . D1 Movies. . . C2 Nation/World. . . A2 Obituaries. . . B4 Opinion. . . A9 Rally. . . E10 SideShow. . . C2 Television. . . C5

Geoffrey Canada, president and chief executive officer of the Harlem Children's Zone, wears many hats — and changes them quickly. "I'll go from sitting with a parent because they're worried their son will get shot, to sitting with a billionaire who is thinking it would be smart to help my organization, just minutes apart," he said. For Canada, whose nonprofit runs charter schools and community programs, rapidly switching gears is but one aspect of being a successful leader.

With a record 40,000 competitors set for Sunday's Blue Cross Broad Street Run, many may be looking for an energy boost. They may want to consider some advice from the International Marathon Medical Directors Association: Don't load up on caffeine. The group's recommendation — to consume no more than 200 mg of caffeine the morning of a race of 10K or more — is not widely known, even among endurance athletes. The guidance is aimed at an uncommon but disturbing phenomenon: young, experienced, seemingly healthy runners dropping dead near the finish line for reasons that are never explained.

Question: I'm depressed about the direction my professional life has taken. I feel like I could cry at any moment. I need a warm word or a hug. I get this kind of support from my sister and parents but not from my wife. She has been supportive during this time, but she never comes around to giving me any kind of show of support through either an encouraging word or a hug or anything. Her support is mostly silent (and sometimes it seems to be waning or even critical). I think she cares about what I'm going through, but she doesn't show it. How can I convey how upset I am to her?

Through all the insanity on Friday night in Pittsburgh, Jaromir Jagr did not flinch. His eyes did not widen. Having skated in more Stanley Cup playoff games (171) than teammates Matt Read and Sean Couturier have regular-season games combined (156), there isn't much that fazes him. "Don't forget, I've played 20 years," Jagr said. "I've seen a lot of wild ones. " It comes as no surprise, then, that Jagr has been in this situation before. In fact, it was with the Penguins in 2000.

SANFORD, Fla. - The Trayvon Martin case took a bizarre turn Tuesday when George Zimmerman's attorneys said they were dropping the neighborhood watch captain as a client, complaining that they had lost all contact with him and that he called the prosecutor and talked to a TV host after they told him not to speak to anyone. The lawyers portrayed Zimmerman as erratic and his emotional state as shaky, and they expressed fear for his mental and physical health amid the pressure that has been building over the last month since he shot and killed Martin, an unarmed black teenager.

Prima-diva fashionista Cheryl Ann Wadlington decided it was high time she passed on some of her girly-girl knowledge. So she teamed up with veteran journalist Sonya Beard and wrote a new book, The DivaGirl's Guide to Style and Self-Respect (The Elevator Group, $15.95). It's a good fit: If there's anyone today's young stylistas will listen to, it's someone who is thoroughly convinced of her own grandeur. "I'm unapologetically fabulous," said Wadlington, CEO of Evoluer House, a local nonprofit that coaches young women on day-to-day life.

Covering the Philadelphia School District can be a disheartening job. I grew up in this city and am a product of its public schools. In four years on the beat, I've found and written about a lot of amazing things going on in city classrooms. But much of my time has also been writing about violence, budget cuts, and layoffs, and that's been difficult at times. But Tazhe Cooper got under my skin. Cooper, 20, has always wanted to be a Philadelphia public schoolteacher.

On people you know are talking trash about you: When someone wants to share a third party's juicy/hurtful/critical comments about me, I like to reply, "Her opinion of me is none of my business. " Stops 'em dead, and I love the expression on her face as she tries to sort out what I said.   On parents who accentuate the negative: I struggled with a mother who was negative about everything I did. With therapy, and prayer, I learned to handle my anger, frustration, and sadness at having a mother with whom I could share little.

YOUR MARCH 20 editorial ("College Loans the Next Debt Bomb") correctly brings attention to a concern for many families, but it fails to mention one important strategy to address this dilemma: saving for college. Saving for higher education offers enormous benefits compared to borrowing. If a family saves $25 a month, it could have about $10,264 after 18 years. Those savings can gain state tax deductions, too. Meanwhile, someone who repays a $10,000 loan with interest over 18 years would ultimately pay $18,563 without any favorable state tax treatment.