January 3, 2012 |
Before we close the books on another exciting/frustrating/awesome/unpredictable (circle one) fantasy season, we must take a quick stroll back through 2011 to examine the players we rooted for and against and - with as much objectivity as we can muster - give credit where credit is due. As always, our annual accolades (and condemnations) have but a few important criteria: 1. Consistency on a weekly basis is next to godliness. 2. Production during the fantasy playoffs - for our purposes, NFL Weeks 14 through 16 - is given extra weight.
December 12, 2011 |
CINCINNATI - A rookie quarterback led the biggest drive in Houston Texans history, one that took them to the end zone and their first playoff berth. T.J. Yates threw a 6-yard touchdown pass with two seconds left on Sunday for a 20-19 victory over the Cincinnati Bengals that put the 10-year Texans in the playoffs for the first time. With their seventh straight win, the Texans (10-3) moved to the threshold of the playoffs. They hugged on the field then headed to the locker room, waiting for the final seconds of Tennessee's game to play out. When time ran out on the Titans, preserving New Orleans' 22-17 victory, the Texans - who entered the league in 2002 - celebrated the AFC South title.
October 3, 2011 |
HOUSTON - Andre Johnson turned upfield, fell awkwardly forward and clutched the back of his right leg. In past seasons, an injury to their All-Pro receiver would've doomed the Texans. That was before they had Arian Foster. Foster rushed for 155 yards and scored the go-ahead touchdown after Johnson left with a hamstring injury, leading the Texans to a 17-10 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday. "I go into every contest thinking that I'm the go-to guy," Foster said.
September 2, 2011 |
In a perfect fantasy world, my starting lineup this season would feature Aaron Rodgers, Adrian Peterson, Chris Johnson, Andre Johnson, Roddy White, Greg Jennings, and Antonio Gates. That would be the same perfect world in which my teenagers admit I'm always right, Mila Kunis stalks me, and snow would start falling in Dallas today. Alas, since our fellow owners are unlikely to cede the entire first round to us, we'll simply have to work smarter to assemble the most dominant team in our league.
August 25, 2011 |
SCOUTING REPORT Danny Amendola, St. Louis: The thought is he could become the Wes Welker new offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels had in New England. Thing is, Amendola already is. He had 85 catches last year, but for only 689 yards. Miles Austin, Dallas: Numbers slipped across the board last year after Tony Romo (collarbone) got hurt. But Romo has had a good camp and Austin's value is up. Dwayne Bowe, Kansas City: He will have to find consistency to take that next step up the wide receiver food chain.
October 29, 2010 |
THE NFL opened up the ballot box the other day and is now soliciting votes for its annual Pro Bowl. How nice. Generally, around this time of the year, some players start to separate themselves and become Pro Bowl candidates and fantasy stalwarts. It starts to become clear who are studs and who are stiffs. But this year, just like many of the league's teams, the projected top players are like crabs in a barrel trying to escape the boiling pot of mediocrity. Tennessee's Chris Johnson has four games in which he has run for 100 yards and three in which he has run for fewer than 70. So while the NFL paints the rosy picture of parity, fantasy fans are left to sort through a bunch of Mona Lisas with mustaches.
December 16, 2009
I dedicate this column to all the owners who went up against Drew Brees, Andre Johnson, Ray Rice, or Dallas Clark last week. (Or, as they?re known in the Pardon the Horn league, Kornheiser?s team.) There are buzz saws and then there are Sun?s Out, Guns Out, Mortal Kombat Flawless Victories . And anyone who ran into any of the above players ? or Chris Johnson, Brandon Marshall or the 49ers? D (!?!) ? well ? may the Fantasy gods have mercy on your soul. But if you managed to survive, congrats.
September 9, 2009
You had your draft. You've named your team. Now Clubber Lang has the prediction. Pain. Fantasy football is a powerless, vulnerable mind job. There are times you'd rather take a cheese grater to your head. Others when you'll have less control than the woman in the "Oops I Crapped My Pants" commercial. It reminds me of my youth. (Read, two weeks ago.) Handing my brother the second Nintendo controller while I stood behind him with the first finishing out my Tecmo Super Bowl game.