August 11, 2007
AS I WRITE, I am angry, hurt and afraid. Angry because the case of the murder of Nicholas Santiago has been the central pain for so many for years. Hurt because three mothers have been left behind to rebuild whatever lives we can. Counting me, four mothers left behind to try figure out how to move on while keeping our families together and making sense out of madness. The mother of Nicholas Santiago has had to bury a son. It is the greatest pain for a parent to lose a child. So many what-if's plague her. I, the mother of his daughter, have struggled to raise a child who has nothing but questions about her father.
July 16, 2013 |
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: My boyfriend is sweet and kind, and everyone adores him. However, it bothers me that he often uses profanity when we argue (sometimes directed at me). He always apologizes and has admitted he needs to change, but it always slips out during arguments. I have told him it is rude and something I will not stand for, but it continues to be a problem. Is this something that can change, or is it just wishful thinking? Answer: When his profanity is "sometimes directed at" you, is he saying "Bleep you" or "You're such a bleeping bleep"?
October 23, 2007 |
MY EX owed me thousands in child support, and I stayed hopping mad about it for a long time. I'd call the support hot line just to see how much he was in arrears. And then I'd say nasty things about him in my head. Years later, I found out he'd done everything he could to get out of paying the support. Even before he lost his job. Then he did the ultimate to ensure he'd never have to pay me another dime. He upped and died. Suddenly, his back child-support bill wasn't so important.
February 8, 1987 |
Every month, she opens the envelope containing her child support check and cringes. Her former husband invariably has decorated the check with a symbolic drop of blood. Another woman suspects her former husband has some bonds stashed away that he managed to hide during the property settlement. She calls the Internal Revenue Service to report him for alleged nonpayment of taxes. And yet another woman is awakened at 4 a.m. by the ringing of her telephone. She picks it up in terror, knowing whom the caller will be - her former husband, who whispers, "I'm gonna break your legs.
December 19, 2012 |
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: My friend's husband is obnoxious and offensive, and I'm out of serenity. I just want to leave now, but our lives are entangled. I feel like a heel waiting out mutual obligations to make my exit, but I don't see any good in telling them what's going on. My friend will just see one more person denigrating her husband. She seems happy and she's repeatedly assured me she's happy with him. Her husband generally gets defensive and is unable to admit fault.
June 5, 2013 |
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: My husband, an amazing man whom I love dearly, believes I am still hurting from an abusive ex-boyfriend. My husband thinks professional counseling could help me release the hurt and anger that seem to haunt me. I know I am still scarred from "Bealza- Bob," but I've never thought I needed counseling. My family and friends know BealzaBob was emotionally and physically abusive, but I haven't told them everything as I don't want to hurt them.
November 1, 2004 |
And finally, the showdown is almost here. After a campaign that feels like it has run for a million years, voters go to the polls tomorrow. Then the lawyers go to court on Wednesday and presto, just four to six short weeks from now, we'll know who's going to lead this country for the next four years. Unfortunately, that's only the second most pressing question we face. The first, for my money, is simply this: What happens next? I'm not talking about Iraq, Afghanistan or health care.
February 19, 2014 |
SO NOW there's apparently an addendum to the Handbook for Raising Black Sons. In addition to having the talk about how not to come across as a danger or a threat to . . . anyone, there's now a socially acceptable way to behave when those lessons are still not enough to protect your child. I was channel surfing this weekend when I briefly landed on CNN and heard conservative pundit Ben Ferguson's comments on the Jordan Davis case. Davis was the unarmed black Florida teenager who in 2012 was killed by Michael Dunn, a white man who shot Davis for refusing to turn down his "thug music.
August 15, 2014
I FIRST HEARD about Robin Williams' death when I was standing in line at my mother's viewing and a friend's BlackBerry dinged with the news alert from CNN. It was a surreal, if brief, moment. Not to be insensitive, but while I always liked Mindy's Mork and all the other incarnations of this gifted actor, the death of a stranger was exponentially less important than my personal grief. Still, when I heard it was a suicide, my fleeting first thought was that my mother had fought so valiantly to cling to something Williams had just thrown away.
August 11, 2011
By Maria Margaronis LONDON - Perhaps the whole point of a riot is to defy explanation: It's an eruption of the irrational, a shattering of glass and boundaries, a testosterone-fueled roar that briefly flips anger and emptiness into something like ecstasy. What's in the minds of the young men (and women) in London, Birmingham, Bristol, and Liverpool who have sent great sheets of flame rising into the August night, devouring local businesses that took years to build, and gone home with their backpacks stuffed with cellphones, Nikes, Xboxes, and Wiis?