Baby Shower

Question: My brother and his wife are expecting a little boy this spring. We're all very excited, and I've offered to host the baby shower. The problem is that the parents-to-be are putting all kinds of conditions on the shower. They want it to be coed, because my sister-in-law doesn't want to have all the attention on her. They also don't want to open gifts at the shower. I really don't like these ideas, and wish I hadn't offered to host. I sincerely doubt men want to go to a baby shower.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 27-year-old woman who lives alone in a house I own. Sometimes strangers come to the house for various reasons - plumbers, electricians, etc. One question I am frequently asked is, "Do you live alone?" I just don't know how to answer that question without feeling like someone might take advantage of me. Can you help me and other single women by providing an appropriate response? - Cautious Bachelorette, Huntsville, Ala. DEAR BACHELORETTE : Gladly. Your gut instincts are on target.

Clusters of pale blue and pink balloons outside the Willingboro Township Municipal Complex yesterday hinted at a celebration, but offered no clue about the unconventional nature of the party inside: a group baby shower for pregnant teens. Orange punch and pastel cupcakes were served. A woman dressed in a giant stork costume welcomed about 25 young mothers-to-be - and a handful of uncomfortable boyfriends - into the room. Beyond the lure of refreshments and gifts, social-service workers and physicians promoted a special agenda: healthy habits for the care of pregnant mothers and their unborn children.

A dispute between two men during a baby shower Sunday night in Whitemarsh Township resulted in injuries to a pregnant woman and one of the men. According to Whitemarsh police, Loren Lloyd, 41, of the 1100 block of Jones Street, was stabbed in the face with a butcher knife. Michael John Tague, 32, of the Plymouth Garden Apartments, 1300 Fayette Street, was charged in the stabbing. Police said Tague showed up at the shower in the 1100 block of Jones Street, where Lloyd lives.

RE Christine Ireland's " 'Police Brutality' Payday" letter: Comments like this one always astound and then enrage me as an African-American. Let me ask you one simple question, Ms. Ireland: Were you there to witness the incident at the baby shower where a woman and her little girl were maced by police? You're a smug, supercilious racist who uses the Daily News as a platform to voice your true reasons for submitting a letter in the first place! For example, you ask: "Who is selling the drugs?"

What are we to make of the recent Hollywood trendlet wherein the hubris of adults gets punished with a life-threatening childbirth? Angie and The Paper tapped a nerve in parents who worry about balancing the professional and the personal, but they also recalled the Greek tragedian Euripides, whose idea of judgment day was the gods visiting the sins of the fathers upon their children. Babyfever, Henry Jaglom's anxious comedy "for those who hear their biological clocks ticking," is mostly about the fear that the gods will visit the sins of would-be mothers on the incipient eggs of their unborn children.

P INK IS HEADING home this weekend for her baby shower. We hear the Doylestown- native pop star is flying here from Los Angeles to celebrate with family and friends Saturday afternoon. She and Motocross-rider husband Carey Hart are expecting their first child in June. Out and about Spike Lee checked out some new Knicks gear at Mitchell & Ness (12th & Chestnut) Friday afternoon. The filmmaker was in town to be honored by the African American Musuem of Philadelphia.

What do you get the Material Girl who has everything? More stuff, of course! Tiny little undershirts, stuffed bunnies, a diaper pail, maybe a stroller. Madonna's buddies threw the expectant mom a baby shower in New York Sunday afternoon. Among the gals in attendance: Comedian-actress Rosie O'Donnell, herself a high-profile new mom, actress Debbie Mazur and Madonna's spokeswoman, Liz Rosenberg. The widening pop star, due in September, has been staying at her Upper West Side home since finishing her role in "Evita" in London and Budapest.

A night that turned violent began with a baby shower in southern Chester County, according to testimony at the preliminary hearing Friday for five of 12 defendants accused of participating in a gang-linked double slaying. After listening to more than three hours of testimony, District Judge Matthew Seavey ruled that sufficient evidence existed to hold Manuel "Mongo" Mora, 20, of Kennett Square; Dominick Daddezio, 17, James L. Jones, 19, and Rafael "Rafa" Lopez Alvarado, 19, all of West Grove; and Cristian "Snoopy" Eumana, 18, of Greenville, Del., for trial on charges that include third-degree murder and conspiracy.

Q: How do friends and family celebrate the birth of a second child? I've heard a shower should be thrown only in honor of the first baby's birth. A: Strict etiquette holds that friends and family shower the mother-to-be only the first time around, because the gifts given generally provide the parents with the items they'll need for children who may follow. Also, people shouldn't feel pressured to buy gifts for each new member of the family. But as with most questions of etiquette, good reasons arise for breaking the rules.

A bored pronouncement from an ultrasound technician, or a sealed envelope anxiously torn open back at home - these did not, to Tanisha Pollard, seem like adequate ways to deliver such momentous news as the gender of her first child. Instead, the 26-year-old Lawnside resident and her boyfriend, Da'Rius Lemon, invited their families to join them for a "gender-reveal party," an increasingly popular way to inject a little ballyhoo into the prenatal condition. "This is my first child, so I just wanted to find a fun way for us to find out what we were having, and to share that - rather than a text message or an e-mail.

Frank Tepper's fate was sealed months ago, when a Common Pleas Court jury convicted the former Philadelphia police officer of first-degree murder for shooting a 21-year-old neighbor outside his Port Richmond home in 2009. Another jury was handed a more complex set of questions on Monday: Was Tepper's killing of Billy Panas part of a pattern of predictable rogue behavior that went unchecked during his 16 years as a police officer? If so, should the city be held accountable? Or was Tepper a "drunken idiot" acting on his own?

Jennifer Lopez, 42, shocked fans this week when she said she wasn't sure she would stay on at American Idol. To some, it felt like a betrayal of all they held good, sacred, and true. Alas, E! News' Mark Malkin says J-Lo already has decided to ditch the show. "She's just too busy," Anonymous Source says, noting that the singer is due to go on a months-long world tour with Enrique Iglesias. J-Lo has yet to confirm or deny the report. She does tell E! she feels conflicted.

Old characters, new box-office record! After colossal, gargantuan, elephantine (the thesaurus is so cool!) ticket sales, The Avengers is the first movie ever to collect $200 million in a single weekend — worldwide, it's made $641.8 million in barely a week and a half. To give some context: The Harry Potter finale made $169.2 million in its debut weekend. The SEPTA workers won $173 million. And it would take a SideShow writer at least 250 years to bring in that kind of dough.

Question: My parents make a strong, overt distinction between married and nonmarried significant others, meaning the former are included in everything, appropriate or not, and the latter are excluded from things that are family-only. My sister's husband was invited to (and attended) my baby shower, while my boyfriend, the father of my child, was not invited to our vacation. Mom's argument is that being treated like family is one of the benefits/incentives of legal marriage. (I would like to get married, but realize it's not right at this time.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm dating a hard-to-find kind of man. He is my Prince Charming except for one thing. He's a racist. I have asked him not to say demeaning things about people of other races because it upsets me. Most of his friends are like that, too. When he meets someone of a different race, he's polite and friendly, but when he sees someone walking on the street, he makes derogatory comments. I'm considering breaking up with him over this. Am I overly sensitive? - Too Sensitive in Texas DEAR TOO SENSITIVE: You're not overly sensitive.

ÃœBERDIVA BEYONCE will headline Revel's grand-opening festivities Memorial Day weekend, reports Daily News casinos reporter Chuck Darrow. The long-awaited announcement of who will play during the $2.4 billion megaresort's official opening festivities May 25-27 was made yesterday on Revel's Facebook page. The super-duper-star will perform in Ovation Hall, the casino's 5,500-seat performance space. The announcement is sure to disappoint classic-rock devotees who, during the past few weeks, have been teased by speculation that, among others, the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin or even a Paul McCartney-Ringo Starr pairing would be the centerpiece of the Memorial Day weekend bash.

FRANK TEPPER sat pensively in court yesterday as his attorney and a city prosecutor took turns trying to convince a Philadelphia jury why the ex-city cop fatally shot a neighbor during a Port Richmond fight two years ago. The Common Pleas Court jury began deliberating Tepper's fate yesterday and was scheduled to resume this morning. Tepper, 45, who had been a 16-year veteran cop, is being tried for murder, possession of an instrument of crime and reckless endangerment, in the Nov. 21, 2009, death of William Panas Jr., 21. Defense attorney Fortunato Perri said Tepper was not guilty because he had acted in self-defense when he fired the fatal bullet in front of his Elkhart Street rowhouse.

A night that turned violent began with a baby shower in southern Chester County, according to testimony at the preliminary hearing Friday for five of 12 defendants accused of participating in a gang-linked double slaying. After listening to more than three hours of testimony, District Judge Matthew Seavey ruled that sufficient evidence existed to hold Manuel "Mongo" Mora, 20, of Kennett Square; Dominick Daddezio, 17, James L. Jones, 19, and Rafael "Rafa" Lopez Alvarado, 19, all of West Grove; and Cristian "Snoopy" Eumana, 18, of Greenville, Del., for trial on charges that include third-degree murder and conspiracy.

A family friend of former Philadelphia Police Officer Frank Tepper told a jury Thursday that she saw blood on Tepper's face shortly before he shot neighbor William Panas Jr. Rebecca Malinowski, 21, was called as a witness by defense attorney Fortunato "Fred" Perri Jr. as he began his case in Tepper's murder trial in Common Pleas Court. Tepper, 45, is charged in the Nov. 21, 2009, shooting of Panas after a melee that erupted outside Tepper's Port Richmond rowhouse. Malinowski's testimony was important because it corroborated Perri's claim that, before Tepper fired his weapon, he was punched in the face trying to break up a fight that erupted between neighborhood men and guests at a baby shower for his daughter.