Bart Simpson

In the '20s, it was jazz and bobbed hair. In the '30s and '40s, it was lindy-hopping and goldfish-swallowing. In the '50s, it was Elvis sideburns and rock-and-roll. In the '60s and '70s, it was long, long hair and short, short skirts. In the '80s, it was Madonna wannabes and Michael Jackson moonwalkers. Today, it is Bart Simpson T-shirts. "It" is the fad du jour that the younger generation, since time immemorial, has latched onto and embraced. Almost all of the above-mentioned youth crazes have, in their day, sent the older generation straight up the wall - leading to denunciations from the principal's office and the pulpit and to dire proclamations by apoplectic elders that the country was going to hell and that this was the end of civilization as we knew it. Each time, however, the nation and civilization survived - something experts in adolescent behavior suggest people keep in mind during the current commotion over whether youngsters should be allowed to come to school wearing T-shirts emblazoned with Bart Simpson's mischievous visage and anti- authoritarian sayings.

So what is it about Bart Simpson, the funny-looking cartoon character with a shark's-tooth haircut and endless stamina to create mischief, that has made the fictional fourth-grader the toast of African Americans? At sidewalk stands in Philadelphia, New York City, Chicago, Miami and Los Angeles, bootleg T-shirts with Bart wearing Nikes and sweatpants, Bart with a thick gold chain around his neck, Bart with cool "tracks" shaved across the side of his head, and a caramel-colored, dreadlock-wearing Bart Simpson captioned Bart Marley are this week's newest phenomenon.

THE LONG and glorious history of the Philadelphia Phillies is difficult to summarize. But it would seem that a brief description of the humble mule would be a reasonable attempt. Of the mule, it was once said, "It hath no pride in heritage, nor hope for posterity. " That seems to summarize the Phillies organization. The Philly Phanatic, Bart Simpson and Elmer Fudd might assume the positions of president, general manager and manager, respectively. On the other hand, switching their roles would likely make little difference.

Ay, caramba! Bart Simpson, he of the saw-toothed head, overbite and smart mouth, has invaded the hearts and minds of our nation's youth. Bart (an anagram for Brat) gets F's, D's and U's on his report card. He cheats. He lies. He makes phony phone calls to bars (and asks for "I. P. Freely"). He calls his teacher "hot cakes" and his principal a "weiner. " Smooth move, man. Disrespectful, obnoxious, none too bright, Bart is every teacher's nightmare. In fact, a few educators across the country, including one in Lancaster County, have declared war on this little menace.

On the library blackboard at Leeds Junior High yesterday, somebody had drawn Bart Simpson. And the teachers weren't even angry. Instead, they joined students in crowding around Swinton Scott, an animator and layout artist who'd picked up the chalk to show students how he makes his living. Scott, an assistant director of "The Simpsons," returned to his alma mater to talk to students about his career at the request of his cousin, Cheryl Brown-Kenner, a counselor at the Mount Airy school.

He knows no magic, doesn't go to private school, and if he's a wizard, it's with boogers. Still, hapless Greg Heffley has sold about 12 million books as the title character in the "Diary of the Wimpy Kid" series. Fans know him as a Bart Simpson-ish reverse role model - an embodiment of pure kid Id, who serves as an example to middle schoolers of how NOT to behave. He may also be the first stick figure to warrant his own live action movie. Jeff Kinney's "Wimpy Kid" books are crude, tween-tilted graphic novels, mixing pictures, text and cartoons to tell Greg's antiheroic story.

Bartholomew J. Simpson, this year's favorite sociopath, is disrupting things again. This time, two TV networks are refusing to air Burger King commercials featuring the Simpson family. Representatives from NBC and ABC say it is the networks' policies "not to accept commercials featuring characters from competitive programs while they are in character" or commericals that make a blatant mention of a competing show. CBS and Fox will run the ads. "We just don't run commercials with characters from competing shows," says David Horowitz, a spokesman for ABC, who adds that the "policy is currently under review.

WILLIE MIGHT CALL THAT A HALF NELSON If only Willie Nelson were as good with his tax returns as he's reported to be in other areas. The upcoming issue of Rolling Stone divulges that the singer is being sued by a woman who claims that on Jan. 4, 1985, she and Nelson did The Wild Thing for nine consecutive hours - and he topped off the feat with a backward flip with her attached. Obviously not a woman who's been reading the paper for the last few months, the lady is suing for $50 million.

The Simpsons are about to become a video game, and you know what that means: Buy it now. Buy it now, even though Christmas is seven months away. Buy it now, even though the concept is still a gleam in the eyes of several computer programmers. Order it now - somehow, anyhow - even though stores aren't likely to have the game before October. Befriend the likeliest retailer near you. Give him or her a deposit, even if the store hasn't yet heard that a Simpsons video is about to be born.

He knows no magic, doesn't go to private school, and if he's a wizard, it's with boogers. Still, hapless Greg Heffley has sold about 12 million books as the title character in the "Diary of the Wimpy Kid" series. Fans know him as a Bart Simpson-ish reverse role model - an embodiment of pure kid Id, who serves as an example to middle schoolers of how NOT to behave. He may also be the first stick figure to warrant his own live action movie. Jeff Kinney's "Wimpy Kid" books are crude, tween-tilted graphic novels, mixing pictures, text and cartoons to tell Greg's antiheroic story.

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. " THESE THINGS are remotely true about America's longest-running sitcom, "The Simpsons" - coming Friday to a theater near you: When its characters first aired as an animated short on "The Tracey Ullman Show" on April 19, 1987, Ronald Reagan was in the White House, Michael Jackson was very popular, and Philadelphia's last sports title was less than...

THE LONG and glorious history of the Philadelphia Phillies is difficult to summarize. But it would seem that a brief description of the humble mule would be a reasonable attempt. Of the mule, it was once said, "It hath no pride in heritage, nor hope for posterity. " That seems to summarize the Phillies organization. The Philly Phanatic, Bart Simpson and Elmer Fudd might assume the positions of president, general manager and manager, respectively. On the other hand, switching their roles would likely make little difference.

It's not that the Folcroft Borough Council has anything personal against Bart Simpson, but council members don't want the cartoon character's picture - complete with expletives - painted on the side of borough buildings. Councilman James Gaffney, chairman of the council's Buildings Committee, said at Monday night's council meeting that he wanted to remove the Bartman from the side of the Boy's Club building in Montgomery Park. The building has had graffiti painted on it repeatedly for several years, Gaffney said, and it costs the borough several hundred dollars each time to remove it. "This time, it's the language coming from (Bart Simpson's)

It's got Barbie and Ken and it's got the Simpsons. It's got handsome men and pretty women in skimpy (but not vulgar!) costumes designed to show off their handsomeness and prettiness. It's got daredevil jumpers and clowns whose pants fall down, who get doused with buckets of water and take numerous other pratfalls. It's got flashing lasers and lavish production numbers. It's wholesome and all-American (except for a few foreigners) and literally as smooth as ice. It's the 51st edition of the Ice Capades, and it's at the Spectrum through Sunday.

WILLIE MIGHT CALL THAT A HALF NELSON If only Willie Nelson were as good with his tax returns as he's reported to be in other areas. The upcoming issue of Rolling Stone divulges that the singer is being sued by a woman who claims that on Jan. 4, 1985, she and Nelson did The Wild Thing for nine consecutive hours - and he topped off the feat with a backward flip with her attached. Obviously not a woman who's been reading the paper for the last few months, the lady is suing for $50 million.

On the library blackboard at Leeds Junior High yesterday, somebody had drawn Bart Simpson. And the teachers weren't even angry. Instead, they joined students in crowding around Swinton Scott, an animator and layout artist who'd picked up the chalk to show students how he makes his living. Scott, an assistant director of "The Simpsons," returned to his alma mater to talk to students about his career at the request of his cousin, Cheryl Brown-Kenner, a counselor at the Mount Airy school.

When Bart Simpson decided to run for office in San Antonio, he called the Republican Party, but nobody wanted to talk to him. "They wouldn't return my phone calls," Simpson said. The Republicans thought Bart Simpson was a prankster. They don't think that anymore. "Now, they know me," chuckles Simpson, a 24-year-old finance executive who shares the same name as the smart-mouthed cartoon kid on television's The Simpsons. Simpson is not the only Texan with a famous name on the ballot Tuesday.

"I will not fake my way through life," Bart Simpson writes a million times on the blackboard tonight after he's caught cooking up a book report solely from the cover of Treasure Island. (He does a decent job until his teacher asks him to name Robert Louis Stevenson's pirate.) The Fox network has been trying to fake it since August, when it moved its animated Simpsons to Thursdays to battle the mighty Bill Cosby and to gain weeknight acceptance for all of Fox. Nearly nine million households were willing to watch third- and fourth-run episodes of the bug-eyed family's exploits, but that was less than half the crowd that watched The Cosby Show.