September 4, 2015 |
FROM TIME to time, I like to check in with the U.S. Patent Office for a progress report on the exciting field of beer inventions. Over the years, we've seen brilliant ideas, ranging from tooth protectors on beer bottles to beer pong tables that keep your beer cold. Honestly, if we could channel some of that ingenuity into, say, theoretical aerodynamics, we'd have those rocket packs by now. So, what's new? Here's a handful of recent patent applications. * Shotgun Accessible Beer Can (#2015-0183547)
August 17, 2012
WHAT YOU'LL FIND on the racks of T-shirt shops in the some of the most popular Shore towns. Avert your eyes! Wildwood: No Shore town in New Jersey, or maybe the East Coast, can compete with Wildwood for the sheer number of steamy, racy, raunchy and just-plain-dumb shirts. Seaside Heights: Compounds the problem with New York Giants and Yankees gear, and shirts with rhinestones and skulls that men on steroids wear. Risque, but not really Ocean City: Watered-down version of Wildwood, with all the safe, pop-slogan shirts that make sense only to tweens and that bear none of the things that could jeopardize the false sense of security, such as alcohol or marijuana and sex. Atlantic City: Shirts usually feature off-kilter iron-ons of dice, playing cards or seagulls.
January 18, 2013
WHO SAYS American ingenuity is dead? While it's true we still don't have jet packs and flying cars, we do have the Bierstick, a giant plastic syringe that can pump 24 ounces of beer into your mouth in less than two seconds. That's two full cans of suds down the gullet in less time than it takes to flush a toilet. And get this: It's made with "high-quality FDA-approved materials," so you know it's gotta be safe. Ah yes, the spirit of invention lives, especially when it comes to beer.
May 3, 2008 |
The red wristbands have been retired. For two years with the Phillies, Aaron Rowand wore red wristbands on his forearms that proudly proclaimed "Beer Pong Champ. " But red doesn't work with the San Francisco Giants' color scheme, so he retired "Beer Pong Champ" for a pair of black wristbands with the logo from comic book hero "The Punisher. " He's not quite sold on "The Punisher. " "I might have to get some [alternative options] made," Rowand said, although he punished the Phillies last night when he homered in the 10th to give the Giants the lead before Pat Burrell's two-run homer won it for the Phils.
June 25, 2012
PHILADELPHIA School leader search The public will get a chance Monday and Tuesday to meet the finalists in the Philadelphia School District superintendent search. Pedro Martinez, now a deputy superintendent in the Clark County, Nev., school district, will introduce himself to the public and take questions Monday at 6:30 p.m. at school district headquarters, 440 N. Broad St. A second finalist, whom the district wasn't ready to identify as of press time, is expected to be introduced Tuesday.
January 18, 2012 |
IF YOU RENT to Temple students in Yorktown, be sure to brush up on your beer-pong skills. In a decision filed Jan. 4, Commonwealth Court upheld a 2010 Common Pleas decision that a special zoning ordinance requiring landlords to live with their student residents in Yorktown homes is constitutional. The decision effectively maintains a ban on renting to groups of Temple students in the neighborhood just south of the North Philly campus. The ordinance, which was adopted in 2004 but which neighbors say was not enforced, was intended to maintain the "quality of life" for the families living there.
August 18, 2011
IF NECESSITY is the mother of invention, beer is its wild-eyed uncle. You know, the one who corners you at family reunions with his latest can't-miss scheme, one that will revolutionize society and earn a bazillion bucks if you want to invest a couple thou. No doubt fueled by a sixpack or two, inventors and assorted crackpots fill the archives of the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office with off-the-wall ideas to enhance consumption of our favorite beverage. Grand ideas such as: * Party Goggles , application No. 12/927,974, by Bruce Riggs of Helendale, Calif.
August 23, 2009
From: Gonzalez, John Last year, the NFL put out a fan code of conduct and encouraged people to inform on their fellow fans via secret texts to stadium security. This year, the NFL has targeted tailgating. According to USA Today, in addition to making recommendations about the serving sizes of beer inside stadiums, the league has asked all 32 teams to prevent tailgating from starting more than three hours before kickoff. That sound you hear is the gasp of every Eagles fan who likes to show up for a Monday Night Football game around dawn.
August 24, 2011 |
YOU KNOW THAT rotten smell when you drive through Newark, N.J.? We think we found its source. The Newark Bears, a minor league baseball club out of the Can-Am League, announced its intent to help Mothers Against Drunk Driving - with a $2,000 pledge from the team's weekly beer pong tournament, aptly called Thirsty Thursday. If that's not an epic fail, we are not sure what is. To top it off, the donation will mark a special farewell for departing Bears pitching coach Jim Leyritz, who was acquitted in December of manslaughter after he was driving under the influence.
May 9, 2014 |
YEARS from now, anthropologists tracking the development of Rogen Man may point to "Neighbors" as the moment he began to walk fully upright. Seth Rogen has been his generation's icon of knuckle-dragging bachelorhood - imparting Falstaffian advice in "The 40 Year Old Virgin," fecklessly dating teens and smoking pot in "Pineapple Express," making tentative steps toward reform and domesticity in "Knocked Up," reverting to Hollywood hedonist in "This...