Bristol Palin

That marked-down-from-$330,000, five-bedroom, three-car-garaged house Bristol Palin scored in the Phoenix suburb of Maricopa for $172,000? Wonder no more. Seems the 20-year-old mom is planning to enroll next year at Arizona State University, to study broadcasting. Andres Cano , an officer of the university's Downtown Young Democrats told TMZ.com the Dems will welcome her "with open arms," adding that "getting a college degree is a nonpartisan issue. " Zachary Ziebarth , prez of the Downtown College Republicans, also is waving the love flag but notes that it's not unanimous: "Facebook has already been going crazy with status updates of excitement, mixed feelings, and nonacceptance.

WHEN JOHN McCain talked about job creation back in 2008, he probably wasn't thinking about Bristol Palin. Still, the man who tapped Sarah Palin as his running mate three years ago could probably claim some credit for the apparently unstoppable career of the former Alaska governor's 20-year-old daughter, whose latest gig, a 10-episode "reality" show on A&E's Bio channel, was announced yesterday. But then McCain might be just as happy to have been left out of the Bio statement, which hailed Palin as "the most famous single mother in America" (yes, even more famous than the ones on "16 and Pregnant")

Tuesday night, a desperate people receives the results of one of the most important votes in American history: Who will be the next president of - oh, wait, that's in 2012. Tuesday night's anticipation is even more frenzied, as the world learns whether a professional entertainer or Bristol Palin will win the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy for the 11th season of Dancing With the Stars . No huge paycheck. No entertainment contract. No powerful seat in government. Just the Mirror Ball Trophy.

When we first saw Bristol Palin in that glittery, gray sparkle schoolmarm suit on Monday night's 11th-season premiere show of Dancing With the Stars , we sent up a collective sigh. C'mon, Bristol. Really? But then the 19-year-old daughter of former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin ripped off the skirt suit and danced the cha-cha-cha to "Mama Told Me Not to Come" in a fire-engine red tiered dress. (That, by the way, made her legs look phenomenal.) The look was wonderfully classy, yet demure - although we will say the makeup was a bit harsh.

Quick - how much do you make? We write SideShow for free. We don't make anything. OK, the occasional jalapeño banana radish fudge Tastykake or half-eaten pretzel. But . . . some people make lots. Take Alycia Lane , the former Philly news anchor now in L.A. We know how much she made once upon a time. She's embroiled in a verrry interesting civil lawsuit against (among others) former colleague and e-mail peruser Larry Mendte . Amid the hundreds of pages of her deposition is a factoid not often confirmed in the world of TV news: her salary.

I BEG TO DIFFER with the scolds who are criticizing the media for focusing on Bristol Palin's out-of-wedlock pregnancy. And I beg to differ with pundits who claim that the controversy is a distraction from more important issues. Because the uproar isn't about Bristol Palin. It isn't about whether Sarah Palin failed as a mother; only insufferable right-wing partisans make those moral equations, and they're silenced by political considerations in this case. It's about the fact that Gov. Palin's ideology failed, that abstinence-only sex education failed even in her own family.

BEFORE the anti-Tattle forces start massing at the border to send their bile-infused hate mail, let's get a few things straight. 1) The Star is not always the most reputable of sources. 2) Bristol Palin is not the most important person in the world - that is why she is leading the gossip column. 3) The Philadelphia Daily News does not consider this the most important story of the day, which is why it's on Page 36. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, here's the big non-news: Bristol Palin and babydaddy Levi Johnston are reportedly over.

SOMETIMES, a teen can't just say no. That's the hard-won wisdom of young Bristol Palin, daughter of former vice-presidential candidate Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. "Everyone should be abstinent, but it's not realistic," the 18-year-old told Fox News in her first interview since son Tripp was born Dec. 27. Sex "is more and more accepted among kids my age. " Kind of sad that her mom campaigned for governor in 2006 on an abstinence platform, huh? Bristol is engaged to her baby's father, Levi Johnston, but said she wished they had waited to have kids "like 10 years so I could have a job and education and my own house.

CONGRATULATIONS to Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston . Those crazy kids are getting married. Bristol broke the news to Us Weekly , seemingly before she broke the news to her parents. Bristol, 19, told Us she found the idea of telling her mother "intimidating and scary. " But Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd , said in a statement on NBC's "Today" show that they want what's best for their children and that Bristol believes in "redemption and forgiveness.

Is it . . . a plot ? As Jimmy Kimmel put it: "Is there a tea party conspiracy?" Or is it a collusion of like-minded people across this land, hurling buttered monkey wrenches into the works and sitting back for a laugh? To the last question, we answer: Of course! D'oh. How else could Bristol Palin still be on Dancing With the Stars ? Bristol's the daughter of reality-TV host, Fox News commentator, author, former Alaska governor, former GOP VP candidate, and inspirational speaker Sarah Palin . Next week on DWTS , Bris-Bris goes up against her last three foes: Disneytot Kyle Massey , who works hard; Brandy , who can actually dance slightly; and Jennifer Grey , who'll probably lose because she is a terrific, blessed dancer.

Shock and horror gripped 30 Rock fans Wednesday when Alec Baldwin , 54, tweeted that he's dumping NBC after an infuriating run-in with a news crew from NBC's Today. Alec was splenetic when journos camped out at his New York digs following the arrest of alleged stalker Genevieve Sabourin outside. The actor felt he was ambushed by Today when he and fiancée Hilaria Thomas stepped out. "A story about stalking sure brings out the stalkers in the media," he tweeted. "But, the Today Show?"

BRISTOL PALIN got into a tussle with a bar patron at the Saddle Ranch in West Hollywood while filming her reality show. Palin had just fallen off the bar's mechanical bull when a bald man yelled, "Did you ride [baby daddy] Levi [ Johnston ] like that? Your mother is a whore! Your mother is a f - - - - - - devil!" Palin then confronted the man, asking him why he hated her mother. His most cogent response was that Sarah Palin is "evil. " C'mon, dude, if you're going to harass the girl in public, at least have an answer ready in case she fights back.

DUCKIE DONE GOOD. "Two and a Half Men" star Jon Cryer has received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Cryer was honored yesterday, timed to coincide with his show's new season, and becomes the 2,449th person to receive a Hollywood sidewalk star. And former co-star Charlie Sheen has another target to aim at when he hurls. Mayer silenced Billboard.com says John Mayer has been diagnosed with granuloma, a throat condition caused by an inflamed nodule near his vocal cords, according to his personal Tumblr blog.

Revenge pregnancy!!! What a concept! My mom is pregnant, and that makes me so mad I want to get pregnant, too! Where's my boyfriend? These shocking ideas seized the brain of Bristol Palin , according to Levi Johnston in his book Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs (metaphors spill all over the highway!), out Sept. 20. Levi accuses Bristol of getting mad (why?) when her mom, Sarah Palin , announced her pregnancy with Trig , so, hippity-hoppity, Bristol told Levi she wanted to get preggers, and Levi, "too dumb" to use protection (he says that of himself in the book, and we find no reason to disagree)

Heads up! Mercede Johnston has a nude pictorial in the new Playboy! Who? Sadie, as she's known, is a celeb because she's the sister of Levi Johnston , who's a celeb because he had a baby with Bristol Palin , who is famous because her mom, Sarah Palin ran for the vice presidency. "Bristol is very manipulative," Sadie says of Levi's ex-gf. "She'd use sex to get her way on many things. " Surely not. Bristol advocates sexual abstinence before marriage.

The Ellen DeGeneres Show (3 p.m., NBC10) - Jim Parsons; Kym Douglas; Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas ( Dancing With the Stars ). Pretty Little Liars (8 p.m., FAM) - Emily's new home doesn't feel like home. Frontline (9 p.m., WHYY TV12) - "The Pot Republic" examines the impact and implications of California's legalization of medical marijuana. More than half of the marijuana consumed in the United States now comes from California, where several counties are trying to openly regulate its production.

Addictionologist Dr. Drew Pinsky , who single-handedly is keeping Celebdom from teetering into a dark, demonic abyss of drugging and boozing, really wants to help Bristol Palin . Celebrated for his mystical method of diagnosing folks he's never met, the doc seems eager for Bristol to admit that Levi Johnston stole her virginity when she was 17 by rape, not by seducing her with sweet talk and sweeter wine coolers. "Did it feel like rape?" Dr. Drew asks Bristol in a chat set to be shown Thursday on HLN (formerly CNN Headline News)

"I'm not accusing Levi [Johnston ] of date rape," Bristol Palin said Monday, putting that word out there! Sarah Palin 's daughter told the good folks on Good Morning America that her memoir, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far , may have confused readers. She's referring to her desciption of how she lost her virginity: She and Levi drank ("girly flavored") wine coolers. They retired to a tent. She woke up not remembering a thing and didn't realize what had happened until she heard Levi bragging to his friends.

Bristol Palin - undone by wine coolers! (They still make those?) That proud daughter of Sarah Palin , in line to become America's first Royal Empress, reveals in her new memoir, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, that she was sloshed on the stuff when she lost her virginity to high school stud (and later dropout) Levi Johnston . Bristol, who valiantly waited till she was 20 to write her first memoir (some celebs pen 'em at 16 and 17!), was so coolered-up, she can't remember a blessed second of the sacred event.