Bumper Stickers

Sooner or later, the talk among lawyers will turn to juries, the enigmas of the courtroom. Because jurors deliberate behind closed doors, speculation about them abounds. Sometimes, a lawyer will hire a high-priced consultant to shed light on the mysteries of potential jurors, helping the lawyer figure out which people to pick, how they think and what will make them acquit or convict. But in Camden yesterday, an attorney in a wrongful-death suit against an anesthesiologist said she wanted to pursue a different route: She said she hoped to glimpse the jurors' inner psyches by finding out what bumper stickers they put on their cars.

With two teenage daughters just breaking in their driver's licenses, Joseph Abramek's full head of salt-and-pepper hair was gaining salt and losing pepper. He watched his daughters, 16 and 19, pull out of his driveway in the family car. He took deep breaths, worried and wondered how he could lower the odds of his flesh and blood making a mistake behind the wheel that could cost them some of each. Stuck in traffic in the fall near his home in Willow Grove, Abramek's eyes fell upon an answer on the bumper of a truck in front of him. It was one of those "1-800 HOW'S MY DRIVING?"

Along with inspired oratory, grassroots campaigning and voter enthusiasm, count the political bumper sticker as yet another casualty of the current presidential campaign. With six weeks to go until Election Day, Americans are not just tuning out the proceedings. They are also turning their vehicular backs. Once staples in presidential races, bumper stickers plastered on cars included such classics as "Nixon's the One," "Now More Than Ever" (Nixon redux), "AuH 2 O" (Barry Goldwater)

You've seen the bumper stickers: "I'd rather be fishing. " Or "A bad day of fishing beats a good day of work anytime. " Not to say this gentleman adheres to those views, but yesterday's sunny skies brought him and a companion to the Schuylkill.

WHAT fun to read letters from conservative election-losers! Who's whining, angry and adrift now? Really? The same party who made "Sore & Loserman" bumper stickers after 2000's stolen election? That macho party of guns guns guns, the death penalty, stay the course, fend for yourselves, up with God and down with gays? Poor babies. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! J. Andrew Smith, Bloomfield, N.J.

If Jason Huffman and Ryan Lyons were old enough to have a car, they wouldn't have needed one of those "I'd Rather Be Fishing" bumper stickers on the back yesterday. Because Huffman, 15, and Lyons, 12, were fishing - at Franklin D. Roosevelt Park in South Philadelphia. Now, let's say they had a fancy red convertible. Today they could be driving around with the top down because forecasters predict another beautiful day.

Thoughts while shaving concerning hope and charity: The mayor and City Council members are bumper stickers and the taxpayers are the bumpers. Stick it to them. Hope, it seems, is like yesterday; it's gone. Charity doesn't begin at home, it begins with Mayor Goode and City Council. The mayor and City Council members are as comical as a three-ring circus. The voters of Philadelphia should get this show on the road. George P. Stewart Philadelphia.

No doubt about it, WUSL-FM (Power 99) is kicking bumpers and taking names. Thousands of Power 99 fans have slapped the bumper sticker of Philly's new No. 1 radio station on the rumps of their cars and trucks. It seems like not even the rush-hour crawl can stop you from coming bumper to bumper with another 99 sticker every five minutes. In predominantly black neighborhoods, where the urban-contemporary Power 99 hip hops with the greatest frequency, the bumper stickers are a symbol of the listenership's unity.

James J. Kilpatrick ("These are troubled times for the oil-patch people") mentions the sneering "Let 'em freeze" bumper stickers of the so-called energy crisis days. I lived and worked in Louisiana during the 1970s. I know that the bumper stickers and the attitude that fostered them were not sneers but protests. As a result of increasing oil prices, more and more people and industries in the North took advantage of regulated interstate natural gas prices and converted from oil heating to gas. When demand for gas supposedly exceeded supply, the federal government forced gas suppliers to abrogate many of their contracts with intrastate clients, resulting in job losses in the predominantly gas-dependent Southern industries, cuts in electrical power availability from the gas-dependent Southern utilities.

Spring returns and so do the bumper stickers. What is it with people who take a perfectly nice car and deface it with a lewd or obnoxious saying. It's easier to understand the proprietor of the beat-up clunkers whose stickers proclaim all the tourist attractions he's seen. Many bumper stickers proclaim their owners are right-to-lifers. There's complex ethical issues reduced to a soundbite. It's good or evil, heaven or hell, with no middle ground. One on the other side read: "Prochild Profamily ProChoice.

OLYMPIA, WASH. - Former Washington Gov. Albert Rosellini, a son of Italian immigrants who became the oldest living former governor in America, died yesterday. He was 101. Rosellini served as governor for eight years ending in 1965. Albert Dean Rosellini was born in Tacoma in 1910. He was a boxer in college and took three jobs to put himself through school. In 1927, his father and a friend were arrested and charged with trying to smuggle drugs out of Mexico, according to a 1997 biography by Payton Smith.

Last Sunday, I lamented that the country is broke, poorly represented, lacking confidence in its leaders, and understandably pessimistic about government's ability to right the economic ship. I questioned why we continue to look to the culprits who got us into this mess to get us out, and solicited suggestions via Twitter and Facebook for creative solutions that don't require government assistance. So what thoughts were offered? A reader named Andrew suggested a national lottery in which half the proceeds would be paid to the winner and the other half dedicated to paying down the national debt.

By Paul F. Bradley The bull shark is known to travel up the Mississippi River, with sightings reported as far north as Illinois, so it's conceivable that one could navigate the Delaware's dangerous maritime traffic and become a fearsome Camden Rivershark. But what exactly is a karate shark? I ask because I constantly see karate-shark stickers on SUVs and minivans, usually accompanied by other stickers denoting the drivers' favorite vacation spots and their children's greatest achievements.

HE'S THE Joe Namath of Doomsday hucksters, but the stakes are much higher than Super Bowl III. Harold Camping, the 89-year-old Christian evangelist from Oakland whose Family Radio broadcasts are heard in 61 languages, doesn't think that Judgment Day will come Saturday. He guarantees it. "It is absolutely going to happen," said Camping, who has determined after five decades of studying Scripture that May 21 marks the beginning of the end. "We do not have a Plan B at all. There is no possibility that it will not happen, because all of our information comes from the Bible.

In honor of Teen Driver Safety Week we return to Pennsylvania, where the legislature keeps it legal for a 16-year-old motorist to call for a pizza from behind the wheel. Or send a text message. You'll be stunned to learn that a national safety group gives the state the lowest grade for protecting its people on the roads. The Advocates for Highway and Auto Safety rate Pennsylvania a Red Light. That means dangerous. The Advocates, a coalition of consumer, health, and safety organizations as well as automobile insurers, weigh whether states have in place 15 types of laws, including restrictions on handheld cell phones and requirements for motorcycle helmets and seat belts.

Bumper-sticker alert The Flyers, who could have been called Dead Team Skating because they were on life support four times against Boston in the conference semifinals, have four shutouts in this year's playoffs. Two were by Michael Leighton, one was by Brian Boucher, and the other was a combined shutout by the two goalies. Only one time in franchise history have the Flyers had more playoff shutouts - 1975, when they had five. Bernie Parent had four and Wayne Stephenson had the other.

I JUST saw "Fitna," the short film by Geert Wilders, head of the Dutch Freedom Party, which takes a hard-line stance against Muslim immigration. Released on the Internet about a week ago, "Fitna" juxtaposes Koran verses with images from the world of jihad. Heads cut off, bodies blown apart, gays executed, toddlers taught to denounce Jews as "apes and pigs," imams calling for global domination, protesters holding up signs reading "God Bless Hitler" - just some of the images from "Fitna," an Arabic word that means "ordeal.

Protect our rights I understand that congressional Democrats are under pressure to protect the party from seeming lax on homeland security. But to make the domestic spying program permanent - as President Bush is pushing for - would be a step toward fulfilling a presidential agenda that has more to do with producing a constant climate of fear than with protecting the nation. If the administration truly seeks to protect our country from further attacks, Bush should respect the present legal infrastructure and seek to perform his executive duties within that framework.

After reading about the Smart Fortwo car (Aug. 31) and a summer driving around seeing hybrids adorned with smug "One Less SUV" bumper stickers, I can't keep quiet: My Toyota Sequoia, with its evil SUV pedigree and 18 m.p.g. highway rating, is more fuel efficient than most cars. I have four children, a husband and a large dog. When I drive my SUV, there are at least four people in my car, and often six (plus the dog and a load of groceries). Even at a measly 15 m.p.g., that's a pretty efficient use of a vehicle.

My last column was about four words I believed could make the world a better place. If a person could simply say to another, "Tell me your story," and then listen quietly, both people would change. Within days, I received hundreds of letters requesting "Tell Me Your Story" bumper stickers I'd promised free, and almost as many e-mails - all from people wanting to join a movement that could change the planet through the listening to others' stories. A woman in Montgomery County said she wanted to open a coffeehouse where people would come just to listen to one another's stories.