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Carolyn Hax

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ENTERTAINMENT
May 26, 2012
Ques­tion: I've been seeing my girl­friend for about six months. Last night we were talking about a friend's re­la­tion­ship problems stemming from his re­cent con­fes­sion of in­fi­del­i­ty. My girl­friend said, "Why did he even tell her about it in the first place, if it was just a drunk­en one-night thing?" I muttered some­thing about lying nev­er be­ing good, and she agreed and we changed the sub­ject. Now I'm thinking more about what she said and wondering if I should be concerned.
NEWS
August 10, 2010 | By Amy Dickinson
"Ask Amy" has been discontinued. Carolyn Hax's advice column, "Tell Me About It," will appear Monday through Saturday.
ENTERTAINMENT
July 27, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: In the mid-'90s, when I was 22 and my brother 18, our family took a Caribbean cruise. It was fun, but not so much fun that I cared to do it again. Now that my parents are in their late 60s, my mom has gotten it in her mind that we should take another cruise as a family. They have even offered to pay. I am not interested in a family vacation. I am single and in my late 30s, and a family vacation smacks of desperation. Also, traveling anywhere with my parents is never a simple process (I suppose that can be said of a lot of people, though)
NEWS
May 31, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: I'm in my mid-20s, steady job, returned Peace Corps volunteer, avid traveler, active social life, ambitious, and I like to think, at least kind of attractive. Maybe I could lose a few, but whatever. I'm also really funny, and I'm not saying this to be arrogant, it's just always been a trait of mine, and I think it's starting to become detrimental. I can't get a date! I have no problem talking to men, including ones I find attractive, and I'm a pretty confident person, but I think my sense of humor makes me unsexy.
NEWS
May 17, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: My lovely, 23-year-old daughter is a romantic and wants to marry the young man she is dating. They have "officially" dated two years, but were friends for years before that. They did not attend college together, so are just recently back in the same town. My daughter lives alone, pays her bills, and is learning how to be a responsible adult, but she is still naive in many ways. Having just graduated, her boyfriend lives with his parents (who fully promote this relationship)
ENTERTAINMENT
March 23, 2011 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: My best friend recently confided that he's thinking of proposing to his girlfriend. They've only been dating about eight months, and she is his first girlfriend. I'm a little worried here! I seem to remember you saying that approximately two years should give somebody enough information about their partner to make a decision. I tend to agree, but my friend sees another whole year of dating as a "waste of time. " Any strategies for making the case to him to collect some more data?
ENTERTAINMENT
February 7, 2012 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: Am I crazy to still be friends with my ex-wife? We split up five years ago after she had an affair with the man she is married to now. We had been married 15 years and had three kids, now ages 21 to 15. I let go of any anger I had and forgave her several years ago. Now we are friends and text from time to time, and have lunch to talk about life, work, and the kids. There is nothing sexual happening. She is just a friend I have known for 21 years. All my divorced friends think I am crazy and can't really be happy unless I put her out of my life.
NEWS
September 12, 2011 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: My husband cannot let things go - he holds grudges for way longer than the offense is worth. He still brings up things that happened months/years ago to illustrate my (presumed) faults. It's not just me; he gives his older sister grief for dropping him when he was 6 months old and she was 3. Besides pointing out that he's being ridiculous when he gets going on some old grudge, do you have any suggestions for dealing with this? Answer: Holding grudges is a form of control.
ENTERTAINMENT
June 22, 2011 | By Carolyn Hax
While Carolyn Hax is away, readers give the advice. On making conversation with monosyllabic teenagers: When my boys were in high school, it did no good to ask how their day had been, so I tried the following questions: What was the craziest thing you saw in the lunchroom/hall/bus? What was the funniest thing that happened today? Who asked the stupidest question in (name a class)? Why was it stupid? How did the teacher respond? How would you have responded differently? Which teacher did you disagree with the most today?
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ARTICLES BY DATE
NEWS
January 31, 2016 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion.   Question: I lost my amazing mom suddenly to a heart attack six months ago. She was 58 and in perfect health, and we are all still dealing with the shock of it. I've gotten to a point where I can mostly function on a day-to-day basis, but I'm struggling with how to face my future milestones without her. I'm 33, not married yet (but dating the man I know I'll marry), no kids yet, no house yet. She was so invested in my life and in my happiness - how am I going to do these things without her?
ENTERTAINMENT
July 27, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: In the mid-'90s, when I was 22 and my brother 18, our family took a Caribbean cruise. It was fun, but not so much fun that I cared to do it again. Now that my parents are in their late 60s, my mom has gotten it in her mind that we should take another cruise as a family. They have even offered to pay. I am not interested in a family vacation. I am single and in my late 30s, and a family vacation smacks of desperation. Also, traveling anywhere with my parents is never a simple process (I suppose that can be said of a lot of people, though)
ENTERTAINMENT
July 10, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: Is it stupid to not like the way my parents play with my 2-year-old? They live far away, and our families can only manage to travel once or twice a year. They bring something new for my daughter and insist that she play with it, even when she shows no interest. They will repeatedly try to get her to like their toy and take other things out of her hand to get her attention back. If she does something cute, they ask her to do it past the point of boredom.
ENTERTAINMENT
June 11, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: After a death in the family, my younger cousin (early 30s) decided to put her house on the market and move closer to family and friends. She was going to break up with her live-in boyfriend (whom she was largely supporting and who can barely keep a job), but then he proposed. She thought about it for a few weeks and decided to accept, even though family and friends tried to talk her out of it. I'm being asked to talk some sense into her, and as much as I wish I could, it seems pointless.
NEWS
May 31, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: I'm in my mid-20s, steady job, returned Peace Corps volunteer, avid traveler, active social life, ambitious, and I like to think, at least kind of attractive. Maybe I could lose a few, but whatever. I'm also really funny, and I'm not saying this to be arrogant, it's just always been a trait of mine, and I think it's starting to become detrimental. I can't get a date! I have no problem talking to men, including ones I find attractive, and I'm a pretty confident person, but I think my sense of humor makes me unsexy.
NEWS
May 17, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: My lovely, 23-year-old daughter is a romantic and wants to marry the young man she is dating. They have "officially" dated two years, but were friends for years before that. They did not attend college together, so are just recently back in the same town. My daughter lives alone, pays her bills, and is learning how to be a responsible adult, but she is still naive in many ways. Having just graduated, her boyfriend lives with his parents (who fully promote this relationship)
ENTERTAINMENT
May 16, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I had a good friend in college, "Lucy"; we were inseparable, in each other's weddings, etc. Over the last two years we've had somewhat of a falling-out, and I've kept my distance from her for a number of reasons. Well, I just found out Lucy's mother killed Lucy's father and then tried to kill herself, and is now facing murder charges. How do I even respond? I knew her parents fairly well but I haven't spoken to her in months, and the last time we spoke it was cold and unfriendly.
ENTERTAINMENT
May 4, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Question: My husband and I are newlyweds. He had a long-term relationship with a woman who turned out to be married. When they started dating, she lied about it. He eventually found out but, by that point, had developed strong feelings for her and did not end their relationship. They have remained in constant contact over an 11-year period, with occasional weekends together (she lives in another state). She always stayed with the husband, claiming she was "staying for the children" - who, by the way, are adults!
ENTERTAINMENT
April 25, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I've always considered myself a well-liked person, so I was shocked and hurt when I heard another mom from my son's soccer team describe me as "awful" (and the person she was talking to agreed). As soon as she realized I'd heard her, she started apologizing, but I was so upset I just grabbed my son and left. Part of me would love to use this experience to open a dialogue with her - "What exactly is so 'awful' about me?" - but I fear the answer would really hurt, and I'm not sure I can handle it. What would you do?
ENTERTAINMENT
April 24, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: Can you recommend a surefire way to find out if a man is interested in you without embarrassing yourself too much? I believe men don't dally when they want to be with someone, but I've only known this guy a few months and we're both in a Ph.D. program that leaves little time for romance. I thought he was interested in another woman, so I stopped initiating contact and decided to mentally move on, but he responded by being more engaged and flirty than ever.
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