Cheeseburger

If they'll listen, I can save the food nags at the Center for Science in the Public Interest a lot of bother and expense. This is the outfit that first got our attention by revealing that many of the Chinese foods we enjoy are bad for our health, clogging our arteries and hyping our blood pressure. It seemed that for days we watched one CNN report after another on killer egg rolls and the deadly Gen. Ding-A-Ling's Chicken. Just when that faded, the same people came at us with the killer noodles report - how if you stuff yourself with Italian foods that are heavy in cream, eggs and rich cheeses, your pipes will jam and your eyes will bulge.

Being a "fat kid growing up in Philadelphia," says Matt Levin , "I've always loved Tastykake. " Levin, chef-owner of Adsum, a bar-restaurant in Queen Village, was distressed to hear of the bakery's financial woe. "They were once a small business. I'm a small business. I should try to do something to help them out," he said. And then things got messy. He is serving Kandy Kake Sliders - burgers made of ground brisket topped with American cheese and a mixture of Sriracha hot sauce and sour-cherry jam and sandwiched between Peanut Butter Kandy Kakes.

Chip Kelly, mad scientist on offense, addressed that side of the ball with his first NFL draft pick Thursday night. But the new Eagles coach made an Andy Reid-like selection when he took athletic Oklahoma tackle Lane Johnson with the No. 4 pick in the first round. Kelly even sounded like Reid, who also chose a tackle when he selected first overall for the Chiefs, when he explained the Eagles' reasoning for drafting Johnson. "Football is all about winning the game up front," Kelly said at the NovaCare Complex.

Riverlawn Malachai of Eagle - more affectionately called "Malie" by his friends - knew he would be dining well that night. After winning three blue ribbons in his class at the Bryn Mawr Kennel Club's 72d Annual Dog Show at Ludwigs Corner on Saturday, the tawny-brindle Irish wolfhound feasted on cheeseburgers. "Whenever he wins, we celebrate with cheeseburgers," said Malie's owner, Patricia Pearson of St. Peter's Village. "It's become a ritual," Pearson said, holding her blue ribbons in one hand while Malie stood obediently at her side.

A man was arrested Monday in Camden and charged with stealing the coat off a man's back and a bag of cheeseburgers from another man. James Hunter, 19, whose address was unknown, was charged with robbery. He did not post $15,000 bail and was being held in the Camden County Correctional Facility. Joseph Leach, 19, of Camden, told police that he was walking in the area of Ninth and Morton Streets shortly before 1 a.m. Monday when a man bumped into him, told him he had a gun, and stole Leach's black jacket and $6. Leach went to his nearby home, then went back out to look for his stolen coat.

Visitors to New Jersey chain restaurants may soon have more information when deciding whether to add fries and a shake to their order. A bill in the Legislature would require chains to post calorie counts for all items on menus inside the restaurant and at drive-up windows. Aimed at curbing obesity by helping eaters make the healthiest choices, the bill would affect any chain that has 20 or more locations nationwide. The Senate is scheduled to vote on it today. Consumers aren't very good at guessing the calories of a cheeseburger or a bowl of fettuccini Alfredo, according to a study published in the American Journal of Public Health and cited by authors of the bill.

Remember the guy who sued fast-food restaurants for making him fat? He became a poster boy for frivolous litigation. But that hasn't stopped the trial lawyers who see dollar signs where most of us see dinner. Thankfully, the U.S. House of Representatives recently passed a "cheeseburger bill" to curtail an expected onslaught of litigation in this obesity blame-game. President Bush says he would sign the cheeseburger bill, but its fate in the Senate appears uncertain. Senators with close ties to trial lawyers, like former presidential candidate John Edwards (D., N.C.)

The U.S. House of Representatives recently passed a bill to ban so-called "frivolous" obesity lawsuits. But it's the bill - not the lawsuits - which is frivolous. If, as claimed, the basis of the bill is that all obesity lawsuits are inherently frivolous, then the bill is unnecessary because judges routinely toss out, and juries usually reject, truly frivolous lawsuits, and appellate court judges can easily reverse the few that survive. These suits - which seek to hold manufacturers liable despite the argument of personal responsibility - are no more frivolous than tobacco or other product liability lawsuits, especially in view of a recent poll showing that prospective jurors are almost as likely to vote for a fat plaintiff in a lawsuit against a fast-food company as for a smoking plaintiff in a suit against a tobacco company.

They've watched their friends get arrested, charged with murder. And with five arrests so far and more expected in the future, Diana and Jessica know their lives will never be the same either. The two Abington teen-agers - and best friends - were there at the beginning. The saga ended a week later with the fatal baseball-bat beating of Eddie Polec, 16, on the steps of his church in Fox Chase. In exclusive interviews this week, the girls - both 16 and both high school juniors - spoke in detail about the events leading up to Polec's horrific murder and rumors which they believed have made them the most vilified females in the area.

Turns out that the height of pop music success isn't the power to make young girls scream or to sell 18 million CDs. "The best reason to go into the business is for the free food," said Justin Timberlake (curly blond hair), the most screamed-at member of pop phenom 'N Sync. "This is something you dream of as a kid - being with McDonald's," said JC Chasez (spiky brown hair). "Our pictures are on the cups and the fry box," exclaimed an incredulous Joey Fatone (spiky brown hair, red highlights, goatee)