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Clueless

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NEWS
December 23, 1996 | By Albert DiBartolomeo, a Philadelphia novelist
With the days to Christmas dwindling, I'm beginning to feel desperate, even without the task of finding an Elmo. I'm growing desperate not so much because I have yet to purchase any gifts, but because I've already thrown myself into the roiling currents of humanity on similar missions and come up empty-handed. I'm not looking for the perfect gift, believe me, not exactly knowing what the perfect gift is, nor whether it could be gotten for money. Neither am I confronted with potential gifts missing from the shelves, having been beaten to the punch by more wily shoppers.
ENTERTAINMENT
July 19, 1995 | By Carrie Rickey, INQUIRER MOVIE CRITIC
We who are tragically uncool, we who are majorly challenged, we who are without a clue are totally fortunate to have Cher explain it all to us. We're not talking Cher the singer of the past who now does infomercials. We're talking Cher Horowitz, the beauteous blonde Betty of Clueless, a fabulously funny Beverly Hills 90210 satire that is, go figure, a faithful update of Jane Austen's Emma. Update is the wrong word. Let's snag Cher's vocab. It's, like, a total makeover. It's also, like, totally, majorly, chronically funny.
NEWS
June 7, 2012 | By Samantha Melamed and FOR THE INQUIRER
Dave Stys knew with total certainty that he wanted to propose to his girlfriend, Jessica Sokolek, in March. What he didn't know was how.   For one thing, admitted Stys, 36, of Old City, "I had a fear of getting down on one knee and proposing, and the whole thing falling flat. " But more than that, "I knew she'd be retelling this story forever, so it just felt really important … and I wanted Jess to know that the act of asking her to marry me was very significant to me. " So, after watching a few splashy proposals on YouTube, Stys decided to seek professional help.
NEWS
December 8, 1995
You know, Mayor Rendell, having thought a bit about what you said Wednesday about your underlings' little stripper problem, it's dawned on us that we'd overlooked one of your more clueless comments. Of course, we were a bit distracted, since, as you pointed out so helpfully, "Things of this level of embarrassment happen weekly at The Inquirer. " In fact, just today the Editorial Board had the Chippendales in to entertain at a morning meeting, cutting short our discussion of the grotesque lack of judgment shown by the players in this fiasco, in which Licenses and Inspections official Frank Antico arranged for strippers to appear at a party thrown by Deputy Mayor Herb Vederman and Deputy Chief of Staff Ted Beitchman.
NEWS
April 23, 1993 | By Rich Fisher, INQUIRER CORRESPONDENT
Meghan Schofield recalled the first day she stepped on a lacrosse field. "I was clueless," the Delran senior said. Schofield was equally clueless as to how she scored the goal earlier this season that made her the Bears' career scoring leader. "I guess I did it this year," she said when asked to recount the goal. "It was against Cherokee, but I don't really remember the goal. " The memory lapse speaks volumes on Schofield's attitude. She is the classic team player who did not list breaking Kim Beiker's scoring record as an objective this year, despite being eight goals shy entering the season.
ENTERTAINMENT
July 16, 1995 | By Robert Abele, FOR THE INQUIRER
When Alicia Silverstone says she hopes she's as loving and intelligent as Cher, she's not talking about the Oscar-winning, bellybutton-exhibiting ex- wife of Congressman Sonny Bono. She's referring to the character she plays in Clueless, the latest high-school comedy by Amy Heckerling, who directed that genre's classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High. "I think clueless is a really interesting word," the flaxen-haired young star says. "Everyone in the film is clueless, but I think Cher is completely not clueless.
NEWS
November 21, 2006 | By Ben Yagoda FOR THE INQUIRER
The couple of dozen entertainment writers and half a hundred seat-fillers attending an advance screening of For Your Consideration at the Mann Chinese 6 Theatre have been attentive but mostly tranquil during the comedy's opening scenes. But then, 31 minutes into the film, as if on cue, they begin to howl. The reason, it would seem, is the man who has just appeared on screen, the cohost of an Entertainment Tonight-like TV show. He is sporting a blond fauxhawk - strange on anyone, bizarre on a 67-year-old - but the real reason they're laughing is that he's played by Fred Willard.
NEWS
February 23, 2001
Not buying it At work, I sometimes read the Daily News. Each time, I realize why I don't buy it. It is the most one-sided, liberal, pro-Democratic garbage one can read, not worth the two cents it costs to print. Now I know why the Daily News supported John Street for mayor and Al Gore for president. Like these two morons, you lack facts and are totally clueless. ANDREW MROZ, Philadelphia
NEWS
December 21, 2009 | By CHRISTOPHER WEBER, Associated Press
LOS ANGELES - Brittany Murphy, the actress who got her start in the sleeper hit "Clueless" and rose to stardom in "8 Mile," died yesterday in Los Angeles. She was 32. Cedars-Sinai Medical Center spokeswoman Sally Stewart said Murphy died at 10:04 a.m. She would not provide a cause of death or any other information. The Los Angeles Fire Department responded to a call at 8 a.m. yesterday at the home Murphy shared with her husband, British screenwriter Simon Monjack, in the West Hollywood hills.
NEWS
November 13, 1997 | Daily News Wire Services
Hoping to capitalize on the traditional December reliance on repeats by the networks, UPN is scheduling three specials during the month, including an hour-long look at the Spice Girls and a first-ever theme night. The Spice Girls special will air Dec. 2 and include interviews and clips from their new movie. UPN will let viewers pick episodes of its Tuesday night comedies to air on Dec. 9 and Dec. 16. As for the theme night, the common thread will be a snowstorm on "In the House," "Good News, "Clueless" and "Sparks.
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NEWS
September 12, 2016
ISSUE | CAMPAIGN 2016 Trump whiffs on military Donald Trump knows nothing about the U.S. military, as he showed in NBC's "Commander-in-Chief Forum" when explaining his 2013 tweet about sexual assault of women in the service: "What did these geniuses expect when they put men and women together?" ("Clinton strikes rare note of accord," Thursday). What the "geniuses" in the Pentagon expected was that our military members would adhere to the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Trump apparently doesn't know that rape is a crime in the military, just as it is for civilians.
NEWS
October 8, 2013
WE ALMOST feel sorry for Tom Corbett, who made headlines last week when he likened same-sex marriage to incest. Earlier in the year, the governor's office attempted to block the legality of same-sex marriage licenses being issued by a Montgomery County register of wills and wrote, in part, "Had the clerk issued marriage licenses to 12-year-olds in violation of state law, would anyone seriously contend that each 12-year-old . . . is entitled to...
NEWS
April 25, 2013
DEAR HARRY: I failed to send in my tax return for a lot of years. Last year, I contacted one of those companies that advertise on TV that they can make deals with the IRS. My returns got filed, and they got the IRS to accept $100 a month. I became unemployed in September, but my unemployment comp just about covers my food and housing. I stopped paying the IRS in January. I called the company for guidance, but found it is no longer in business. I got a statement from the IRS that seemed to indicate they want the balance paid immediately, because I broke the agreement.
NEWS
April 3, 2013
IT'S HARD to figure out who is more clueless: the NRA, which released a report calling for armed guards in school one day after families of Newtown victims rallied in Connecticut's capital to support strict new laws to limit gun violence, or Republican members of Congress, who are threatening to filibuster new gun-control legislation little more than 100 days after the Newtown massacre. But this doesn't need to be a contest-Both can and should win the prize for being out of touch with the rest of the country.
NEWS
December 23, 2012 | By Michael Matza, Inquirer Staff Writer
Some days you eat the bear. Some days the bear eats you. And some days, when the stars align, you go hunting for deer with a $50 million Powerball jackpot-winning ticket in your pocket and you don't even know it. Such was the serendipity of Roger Custer of Levittown, who presented his winning ticket Friday to the Pennsylvania Lottery Commission for validation. "It's a good feeling to know that my family will never have to worry," Custer was quoted by lottery officials as saying when he accepted a ceremonial check for $33,134,526.18.
NEWS
October 11, 2012
BELLEFONTE - Three of the 10 known victims stood up and spoke at the sentencing hearing, and a fourth had his statement read into the record. More tears were shed, more light shone onto their unspeakable burdens. They spoke, the attorneys spoke, and then it was just the two of them, directly facing each other: Jerry Sandusky, in a red prison uniform, standing at a lectern. And John Cleland, wearing a black robe, seated behind the judge's bench. It had come to this. The trial had been a horror, and included a behind-the-scenes abomination never told to the jury: one of Sandusky's six adopted children approached prosecutors in the middle of the proceedings to claim that he, too, was one of his father's victims.
NEWS
June 7, 2012 | By Samantha Melamed and FOR THE INQUIRER
Dave Stys knew with total certainty that he wanted to propose to his girlfriend, Jessica Sokolek, in March. What he didn't know was how.   For one thing, admitted Stys, 36, of Old City, "I had a fear of getting down on one knee and proposing, and the whole thing falling flat. " But more than that, "I knew she'd be retelling this story forever, so it just felt really important … and I wanted Jess to know that the act of asking her to marry me was very significant to me. " So, after watching a few splashy proposals on YouTube, Stys decided to seek professional help.
NEWS
April 23, 2012 | By Howard Shapiro, INQUIRER STAFF WRITER
Nicky Silver, the Wynnewood-born-and bred playwright whose edgy plays sometimes have seemingly nice or clueless people turning awful, had his Broadway debut Monday night with a solid, edgy play in which someone basically nice or clueless turns awful. In the case of "The Lyons," it's the son of a four-person nuclear family who becomes ballistic in a desperate search for the human connection that is the play's solid theme. But I'm making "The Lyons" sound far too serious; it's an outrageously funny comedy — at times, uncomfortably funny because Silver exploits a man's late-stage cancer for laughs.
ENTERTAINMENT
February 10, 2012 | BY GARY THOMPSON, thompsg@phillynews.com 215-854-5992
IN THE OPENING moments of "Safe House," rogue agent Denzel Washington endures bullets and waterboarding with the air of a man getting a spa treatment. He's relaxed and cool, and the audience laughs, because Washington wears his movie star history/charisma like armor. He wants his star stature to blend with his character - Tobin Frost, a celebrity in the CIA for having built its modern spy machine before he mysteriously went AWOL. Now Frost is back, and in possession of sensitive data that many intelligence agencies will kill to suppress.
NEWS
December 9, 2011 | By Joelle Farrell, Inquirer Staff Writer
WASHINGTON - A decade ago, Jon S. Corzine was a freshman U.S. senator whose financial expertise earned him a spot on the Senate Banking Committee, where he could grill those called to testify before Congress. On Thursday, Corzine was in the uncomfortable position of sitting in the witness seat, explaining to members of the House Agriculture Committee what had happened to $1.2 billion that farmers invested in his now-bankrupt financial firm, MF Global. Corzine, 64, New Jersey's former governor, looking drawn and somber through more than two hours of questioning, had a simple yet confounding answer: I don't know.
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