Comic Relief

Comic Relief '90, Saturday night's televised parade of comedians, actors and even the Rockettes so far has produced pledges of at least $4.7 million to help the homeless. The previous three Comic Relief specials raised nearly $9 million in total for the cause. This year's Home Box Office special, which moved to New York's Radio City Music Hall after three years in Los Angeles, was again hosted by comedians Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams. The three opened the show with impersonations that needled New York celebrities.

Production began Monday on the revamped Bob Newhart series, "Bob," that returns - with numerous cast and storyline changes - to the CBS schedule at 9:30 p.m. Friday, Oct. 22. Newhart is being joined by new cast members Betty White, Jere Burns ("Dear John"), Eric Allan Kramer ("Down Home") and Megan Cavanagh ("A League of Their Own"). In addition, Carlene Watkins returns as Bob's wife, as well as Cynthia Stevenson as their daughter. A year ago, the series storyline had Newhart playing a comic-book artist.

Fox, which has powered up its Nielsen ratings with such Marvel-inspired series as "The X-Men" and "Spider-Man," has made a long-term production agreement with the comic-book factory. "This groundbreaking agreement gives [the Fox Children's Network] unparalleled access to one of the world's most successful creators of comic characters," FCN honcho Margaret Loesch said of the deal. Fox has committed to the production of at least four Marvel properties over the next seven years, including Silver Surfer, Daredevil and Captain America.

High atop the Montserrat Restaurant, surrounded by a pleasantly offbeat exhibit of fabric art ("That one there," says resident wiseguy Brian Kerrigan, "I call 'Pope on a Stick' "), lives a new, six-member improvisationa l comedy troupe called Comic Relief in a tiny new space called the Peak Theater. On any given Saturday night on South Street, you are likely to see Kerrigan portray the coked-up running back, Johnny "The Wad" Jackson, making his game-winning, Baryshnikov-like, 99-yard run while fellow-Comic Reliefer Gini Staudt blocks and the offstage announcer provides a running commentary on The Wad's history of drug abuse.

Like most Jersey kids, Tony DiGerolamo grew up with the story of the Jersey Devil - the legend of the big, grotesque, devilish creature that roams the Garden State. The tale is a scary standard, told around campfires and clarified in classrooms. But it has lost some of its bluster in recent years. The name is now used in video games and tagged to the hulking athletes of New Jersey's National Hockey League franchise. DiGerolamo, 32, of Lindenwold, is trying to keep the frightening folklore alive by creating an independent comic-book series featuring Jersey's reputed boogeyman.

The Trilby String Band performs at the First Union Spectrum. The group took 12th place in the annual Mummers Show of Shows. This year, the event featured 16 groups. First place was awarded to the Quaker City String Band, which was led by captain Bob Shannon Jr. The theme was Reflections of Old Moscow. Other groups had themes such as Simply N'Awlins, Side Show Shenanigans, Creature Double Feature, Comic Relief and A Scarecrow's Wish . . . A Role in the Hay.

The biggest TV event tonight is the live Comic Relief benefit hosted by Billy Crystal, Whoopi Goldberg and Robin Williams. It's put on by HBO, but even cable subscribers who don't pay for HBO should be able to watch the program. HBO has allowed local cable companies to transmit the show free on a vacant channel. DAYTIME HIGHLIGHT DEJA VIEW VOL. 2 (5 p.m., Ch. 3) - There's one clever video in this second collection of '60s songs given the '80s video treatment: "I Can't Get Next to You," starring David Ruffin and Eddie Kendrick of the Temptations, and featuring actor Bronson Pinchot.

It was 30 minutes before curtain time, and the panic was palpable. Theater director Loretta Wehbe LaCasse had just noticed that the two pizza box props, which were supposed to be indistinguishable, were not. "Oh, my God!" exclaimed actress Mary Filippone, an eighth grader at Springfield's Richardson Middle School. "You got a different pizza box!" cried LaCasse. The behind-the-scenes scare passed several minutes later when set designer Frank Reali, 16, returned with a used pizza box that perfectly matched the original.

If Eddie Murphy wants to become the next Cary Grant, he's going to need more than a bow tie and the script he was handed for "Boomerang. " The sarcastic, profane and occasionally cruel comedian has trouble passing himself off as the suave, urbane ladykiller he is required to play in "Boomerang. " Scenes of an earnest, remorseful Murphy romancing a woman with the whispered words, "I can't breathe without you. I can't breathe, I can't breathe" have a suffocating effect on all of us. "Boomerang" is intended to be a jazzy and glamorous romantic comedy, but that mood is constantly undercut by the coarse, raunchy moments used to provide comic relief.

It's a slow night: The networks don't have much to offer other than St. Elsewhere, and HBO subscribers have only mildly interesting alternatives. Channel 12 has dug up two helpings of a classic mini-series. EVENING HIGHLIGHTS HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN (8 p.m., Ch. 3) - Eddie Albert guest-stars as a cynical senator who does his best to block Jonathan and Mark's efforts to save a little girl with a rare disease. NBC. UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS (9 p.m., Ch. 12) - There's very little to say about this classic PBS mini-series that hasn't already been said.

RASHIDA JONES has been such a consistent, pleasant and welcome presence in movies and television, we may not have noticed she hasn't been given a lot to do. Loser of the John Krasinski sweepstakes in "The Office," sweetly patient wife to Paul Rudd in "I Love You Man," etc. Part of the ensemble, and like too many talented actresses, destined to remain there, unless she can get a break. Or make one, as she does in "Celeste and Jesse Forever. " Jones, a Harvard grad, sat down (with collaborator Will McCormack)

FLOWERY BRANCH, Ga . – Asante Samuel was being, well, Asante Samuel. It was nearly 2 hours into the Falcons' afternoon training-camp practice and his voice was as constant as the broiling Georgia sun. Samuel had just broken up a deep ball for wide receiver Julio Jones and immediately chastised both Jones and quarterback Matt Ryan for being foolish enough to challenge him. "I'm not going for that cornbread [bleep]," he said. "That's a low-percentage play, man. Low-percentage play.

BECAUSE WE GENERALLY like to reserve this section of the People Paper for comic relief, here's the latest laugher: T.O. is concerned that the reason he is yet to sign on the dotted line of an NFL contract is due in large part to teams perceiving him as a troublemaker. According to an Associated Press report, the receiver - seeking his fourth team in 6 years - feels that it's not his slumping numbers over that time period that have general managers wary, but the soap opera that has become his life.

GERARD BUTLER can be a charming rogue. Jennifer Aniston can handle light comedy, and spent a decade on television getting laughs out of a perpetually fraught relationship. Somebody in Hollywood should know how to leverage these ingredients into a romantic comedy about a charming rogue and his fraught relationship with a sexy ex. I guess that somebody isn't director Andy Tennant, who in "Bounty Hunter" delivers a flabby, leaden romantic comedy featuring Butler as a bounty hunter hired to bring in his bail-jumping wife (Aniston)

You want to grant Robert Pattinson his wish to break free of "Twilight" and do something new, but there's precious little of it in "Remember Me. " Pattinson's still moping, big time, as Tyler Hawkins, a self-destructive rich kid adrift in Manhattan, mourning the death of a brother. He drags his tortured soul along with him, and he also engages in a highly problematic romance with a young woman, although (hooray for Robert) this one is quickly consummated. As Tyler, Pattinson gets a chance to be unchivalrous.

Ellen to boogie on over to 'Idol' Forests flattened! A massive crater blown in the entertainment universe! Experts debating what it all means! On her TV talkie Wednesday, Ellen DeGeneres announced she had inked a five-year deal to fill Paula Abdul's post as a judge on Fox's American Idol. It will begin in January, along with AI's ninth (can that really be?) season. Is this wise? Is this a good thing? Does this mean we'll have a health-care bill by Christmas? Sick with anticipation, we know only that Ell De-G will join professional nasty Simon Cowell, no-visible-reason-to-be-there Randy Jackson, and equally qualified Kara DioGuardi as the dreaded Fourth Judge.

Relief, comic and otherwise Effective relief pitchers don't grow on trees. Sometimes, they sit in the dugout disguised as backup infielders. Royals reserve shortstop Tony Pe?a Jr. took the mound for the ninth inning of a 19-4 loss to the Tigers on Monday night, with surprising results: three up, three down. He threw 12 pitches, eight for strikes; consistently topped 90 m.p.h. on the radar gun; and fanned catcher Pudge Rodriguez. Maybe the Tigers were tired from scoring 10 runs in the eighth.

Had I checked the calendar in time, I would not be two weeks' late in acknowledging the 30th anniversary of Jay Lamont's All About Real Estate show on WPEN-AM (950). For the eight people out there who've never heard of Lamont, here are the basics: Every Sunday from 10 a.m. to noon (10 to 11 during Eagles season), Lamont fields telephone calls about all sorts and conditions of real estate from as many people as can be squeezed into two hours. His producer, Pat Staub, screens the calls in the adjacent booth - and looks up to heaven and shakes her head as she listens to some of Lamont's answers.

Woody Austin can forget about forgetting yesterday. Even U.S. captain Jack Nicklaus found a little humor in the misfortune of Austin last night when he announced a matchup for today in the Presidents Cup as "Phil Mickelson and Jacques Cousteau" against Stuart Appleby and Retief Goosen. On a day the International team came roaring back, winning 4 1/2 of six points to cut the United States' lead to 7-5 heading into the weekend, Austin stole the show. Austin, a 43-year-old Cup rookie who is as gung-ho as he is intense, reeled off three consecutive birdies on the final three holes and almost single-handedly provided the Americans with a much-needed half-point.

The man who wasn't there dominated the TV coverage of the Eagles-Cowboys game last night. Terrell Owens this, Terrell Owens that. Can the Eagles win without T.O.? Will the Birds and the fractious flanker reconcile? Where will T.O. play next year? Will the talking heads ever get tired of talking about T.O.? Heck, no. Michael Irvin, the former Cowboys wide receiver and current ESPN analyst, made that clear last night on Monday Night Countdown, the pregame show. "That story isn't going anywhere," Irvin said.