Commercials

They've started to carry commercials on Soviet television. Things may be going too fast for me. When the Soviet government, officially atheistic, started returning churches to their congregations, I managed to mutter something like "Well, nothing surprises me anymore. " When the Poles announced that part of their parliament was going to be chosen by free elections, I told myself that everything changes sooner or later. I was even able to absorb the news that the Chinese were setting up a stock exchange.

IN TELEVISION, you get what you pay for, sooner or later. And in the case of Dish's Autohop technology - which allows DVR users to skip commercials while playing back programs from the four major networks - the price might be higher than advertised. Because those commercials we all love to hate? They pay for the "free" programming we don't want interrupted. Yes, yes, I know. "There's nothing good on network TV, anyway. " "I only watch cable. " "My dog ate my remote. " Great.

We may want our TV sets, stereos, VCRs and even cars stamped "Made in Japan," but at least the commercials for all these products still have to be produced right here in the good old USA. Perhaps the destiny of the American economy is to make only the commercials, never the goods. The most talked-about commercial of the moment is for the Japanese auto firm Isuzu. It's a series of ads lumped under the title "The Liar," and it features a salesman for the company in various guises (as a race driver, on a tall rock)

Charley Steiner has covered sports most of his adult life, the last eight years for ESPN. That much time spent in front of a camera should be enough to lend credibility and fame to almost any sportscaster. But over the last year, Steiner has enjoyed a level of popularity even he finds surprising. It has nothing to do with what he knows about sports, although that helps. It has more to do with doughnut crumbs, punching out college football mascots and being traded from "SportsCenter" to "Melrose Place.

The Casey administration is spending $400,000 to air a television commercial that features Gov. Casey praising the benefits the state lottery confers on older citizens. David Stone, Casey's deputy chief of staff for communications, said yesterday that there also were plans to spend about $700,000 later this year for commercials that feature Casey promoting the work ethic of Pennsylvania's labor force. Stone said the governor appeared in the lottery commercial to remind Pennsylvanians that the lottery pays for important transportation, rent-rebate and drug-prescription programs for the elderly.

Republican Senate candidate Pete Dawkins took to the television airwaves for the first time yesterday, launching a two-week advertising blitz of the Philadelphia and New York markets in his bid to unseat Democratic U.S. Sen. Frank Lautenberg. The commercials, which the Dawkins campaign said would cost at least $570,000, are airing eight months before the November election and are intended to introduce the former college football hero, retired Army general and investment banker to New Jersey voters.

Bartholomew J. Simpson, this year's favorite sociopath, is disrupting things again. This time, two TV networks are refusing to air Burger King commercials featuring the Simpson family. Representatives from NBC and ABC say it is the networks' policies "not to accept commercials featuring characters from competitive programs while they are in character" or commericals that make a blatant mention of a competing show. CBS and Fox will run the ads. "We just don't run commercials with characters from competing shows," says David Horowitz, a spokesman for ABC, who adds that the "policy is currently under review.

David Leisure, the financial wizard who engineered the GE takeover of RCA, last week flew to the Himalayas where the Dalai Lama told him the Secret of Happiness . . . is owned by a division of Beatrice. You have my word on it. (He's lying.) David Leisure actually is the ex-Marine sergeant who deflected the gun held by Sara Jane Moore when she took a shot at President Ford in 1975. You have my word on it. (That wasn't David Leisure.) David Leisure pitched a perfect game for the New York Yankees in the 1956 World Series.

Commercials have often been the launching pad for stardom. Where would Farrah Fawcett be without Noxema? Shelley Hack without Charlie perfume? Diane Keaton without Hour After Hour deodorant? Or Dustin Hoffman without Volkswagens? Ditto " 'Crocodile' Dundee" star Paul Hogan. A series of ads he did, designed to boost Australian tourism, also helped boost his career Stateside. Emmanuel Lewis was spotted by ABC execs in a Burger King ad and got his own series, "Webster. " And Kim Fields of "The Facts of Life" was discovered by casting agents from a commercial for Mrs. Butterworth.

John J. "Marty" Connors, 75, a former manager of the Trailways Bus Terminal in Camden and an actor who played extra roles in numerous films, including 12 Monkeys, died Wednesday at Greenbriar West Nursing Home in Woodbury. A West Deptford resident, he was born and raised in Philadelphia and graduated from Roman Catholic High School. Mr. Connors managed the Trailways Bus Terminal in Camden for more than five years before retiring in the mid-1960s. A member of the Screen Actors Guild and the American Federation of Television and Radio Announcers, he got into acting after retiring.