January 31, 2016
DEAR ABBY: My fiance is in the Marine Reserve. He has been in for five years, and his contract is due to end next year. After that, he will resign or reenlist. He's obsessed with serving his country and deploying. He says he won't feel he did his job if he doesn't deploy. I respect that, but for him to deploy, he must reenlist, and his new contract will be for six years. He could be sent overseas many times. I can't imagine life without him. Every time I watch a war movie, I cry. I know it sounds selfish, but how can I talk him into not reenlisting or at least tell him I don't want him to?
January 12, 2016
DEAR ABBY: Thirty years ago when I was an Army officer, my wife "went crazy. " She had an affair and wound up getting pregnant. When I got out of the Army, she saw the man one time more before we moved and got pregnant again! We had a child together later. When I found out my eldest son didn't have the correct blood type, I confronted her and she admitted it. I then had all my children tested and realized only the last one was mine. I love the other two as well as my son, and I would not destroy his or the other boys' lives.
January 3, 2016
DEAR ABBY: I'm a gay man in my late 40s who has worked for 10 years in the public school system with young adults and kids with special needs. I have done everything from changing preschoolers' diapers, to tutoring, travel training and teaching life skills to older children. In the process, I have encountered my share of cooperation, defiance, failure and success. When speaking with family, friends or strangers about their parenting, I sometimes share my experiences. This is usually accepted and even encouraged, but occasionally I am put in my place by a parent who feels I must be told that what I've done "isn't the same as being a parent.
November 5, 2015
D EAR ABBY: My parents are refusing to pay for me to attend my dream school after learning that I am sexually active with my boyfriend of two years. (They liked him very much prior to learning this.) He's in school in France. They say it would be a "sin" to pay for me to attend school in the same city he's in, and they expect me to stay home and go to a local community college. Would it be wrong to disobey their wishes and take out my own student loans? - Parents vs. Boyfriend in France DEAR P VS. B: I not only think it would be wrong, I'm afraid it could be a disaster for you. What if the relationship doesn't work out?
October 23, 2015
D EAR ABBY: My daughter has been in a lesbian relationship for 14 years. They recently took me to lunch and informed me that her partner, "Nicole," is in the process of transitioning to a male. Nicole has now legally changed her name to "Nick" and has begun hormone treatments. They have been going to counseling for the past six months. Since Nick began the transition, I have seen him three times. Last week when I was visiting, I accidentally called Nick by the wrong pronoun, "she" instead of "he" a couple of times.
October 9, 2015
D EAR ABBY: I am a widow in my early 50s. While I was dating a prominent OB-GYN, I found out that he's involved in criminal activity - operating a so-called pill mill. On our last date he asked me to join an escort service he was starting. I notified the medical board of the state he's practicing in and various government agencies. It amazes me that he is still practicing. He's doing abortions, which means he has access to vulnerable young women. Knowing this, I have lost trust in our medical establishment.
October 2, 2015
D EAR ABBY: Our family dog recently passed away after a yearlong decline. I had grown up with him. He had reached the point where he needed daily care for his body, even though his mind was 100 percent there. Near the end, things got very bad. I got only about four hours of broken sleep a night caring for him, and no one in the family would help me. During part of his daily care routine, he had a second accident all over the freshly cleaned floor. I lost it and hit him. He's gone now, and I can barely live with myself.
June 25, 2015
D EAR ABBY: Six months ago, my best friend's fiance raped me. He is a man I've known for many years, and I didn't see it coming. I became pregnant but had a miscarriage two months later. I recently had to have a hysterectomy from damage incurred from the rape and the miscarriage. I never went to the police or pressed charges, and very few people are aware of the whole horrific experience. I have been beyond traumatized by what happened. My best friend knows nothing about it, and I have been unable to face her since that awful night.
July 1, 2013
D EAR ABBY: When we married, we both drank and smoked. My husband quit smoking five years ago, and I have continued to smoke off and on. If he catches me with a cigarette it becomes an argument, and it's either I quit or we're done! I love my husband, but I don't see the big deal if I smoke a cigarette. He sometimes makes me feel like a teenager hiding it from my parents! Any advice? - Closet Smoker in Wisconsin DEAR SMOKER: Surely you know that smoking isn't good for you, and it upsets your husband because he loves you. This is less about a contest of wills than the fact that you are addicted to nicotine and can't stop using.
June 5, 2013
D EAR ABBY: I would like to respond to "Solitary Woman in Ottawa, Canada," the expectant mom who asked how she could raise her child to enjoy "periods of quiet, reflective fun by himself. " When my son was born, I felt it was important to give him confidence and the ability to be self-sufficient. Therefore, we have him help us with chores and encourage him to make healthy, responsible choices. When he was 2 and stopped taking naps, we told him that he had to have "quiet time" and that reading to himself was one of the options.