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Dear Abby

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July 19, 2012 | Dear Abby
DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with my husband, "Howard. " I moved from my family, left my job and sold my house to marry him three years ago. Now I feel trapped. I'm a housewife and I take care of his mother who lives with us (another story). I'm at home all day. He refuses to get another car because he's "afraid" I'm going to meet someone else if I go out. Howard doesn't like my friends — the three I have. He has taken church away from me, because he believes a husband and wife should go to church together: He doesn't, so I can't either.
ENTERTAINMENT
September 6, 2012
DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Disappearing Stepmother" brought back memories of my stepdaughter's wedding. Her mother tried to prevent us from being involved, but she included all of us. Dad and Stepdad walked her down the aisle together, and her mom and I lit the bride's candle. This bride needs to stand up to her mother. The dad should at least put his foot down on the guest list. Otherwise, resentment will poison the relationship between stepmom and daughter. - Another Stepmom DEAR STEPMOM: I encouraged "Disappearing" to attend the wedding to support her stepdaughter and inject a dose of reality into the "fantasy," and readers were quick to share their views: DEAR ABBY: First wives often hold the upper hand.
NEWS
October 28, 2012
DEAR ABBY : I'm a 20-year-old female with five younger brothers and sisters. My 18-year-old sister is my biological sister, while my youngest four siblings are adopted. At the beginning of the year I discovered my 14-year-old brother has been peeping on my sister. When my parents found out, they sent him to counseling, but my sister is still pretty scarred from it. Today, when I was in the bathroom, I realized my brother was peeping at me through a hole in the wall. I feel extremely violated, but because he is only 14, I don't know what to do. How can we get him to stop, and how can my sister and I feel comfortable in our house again?
NEWS
September 17, 2012
DEAR ABBY: America's tradesmen - plumbers, masons and others - get very little respect. The only time these professionals get attention is during an emergency. This lack of regard is leading our nation down an unfortunate path, as fewer young people pursue those jobs. On Sept. 21, we have a chance to thank those people on National Tradesmen Day. Drop a box of doughnuts at the job site near your home. Call your plumber and say, "Thank you. " Invite a tradesman to speak at school. Abby, would you help to get the word out?
ENTERTAINMENT
October 24, 2012
DEAR ABBY: I'm 15. I have dated since I was 12, but never told my parents and sort of went out of my way to hide it from them. I had sex when I was 13, but was always careful about using birth control. I'm on the pill and always use condoms. I got pregnant anyway, five months ago. I always had irregular periods, so I didn't realize it until two months ago. I was scared out of my mind, but I was planning to tell the father and my parents. Then early last month I got a terrible pain. I went to the clinic and had a miscarriage.
ENTERTAINMENT
September 19, 2011
DEAR ABBY: I have been with my love for more than five years. Our lives have not been easy, but whose has? God decided to bless us with a little one while we were still too young, but we work hard to provide the best for our blessing. Somewhere down the road the romance disappeared. I often wonder if he despises me for getting pregnant or for keeping our son. My love had big plans and still does, but he seems miserable. I know I can't force him to make the effort to change his own life and pursue his dreams.
NEWS
December 14, 2012
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for seven years. Since our wedding, he has had increasing health problems. He recently told me that he planned his funeral three months ago, without saying a word to me. I am very concerned that he seems more focused on death than on life. Am I wrong to be upset? He says I am. - Wife in Burlington, N.J. DEAR WIFE: I don't blame you for being concerned, because husbands and wives should be able to discuss important topics with each other, and this is one of them.
ENTERTAINMENT
February 19, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of one year, "Eddie," has been invited to the wedding of a waitress who works at a restaurant/bar he frequents. I was not invited. Eddie doesn't dance and has slow danced with me only once. When I told him I would not appreciate him slow dancing with anyone there, we had a heated argument. Eddie told me I have no right to tell him what to do. I have run this by many people - male and female - and they all say it's inappropriate to slow dance with anyone but your significant other, especially when she's not present.
ENTERTAINMENT
December 5, 2012
DEAR ABBY: When I was an adolescent, my father molested me. It took me 20 years to finally confide this secret to my mother. Afterward it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. That feeling lasted about two minutes. That's how long it took for her to get on the phone and spread the news to everyone she could think of. This was two years ago and, after repeatedly asking her to stop, she continues to tell. Two days ago, I caught her spilling the beans to an acquaintance she hadn't spoken to in more than a decade.
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NEWS
January 31, 2016
DEAR ABBY: My fiance is in the Marine Reserve. He has been in for five years, and his contract is due to end next year. After that, he will resign or reenlist. He's obsessed with serving his country and deploying. He says he won't feel he did his job if he doesn't deploy. I respect that, but for him to deploy, he must reenlist, and his new contract will be for six years. He could be sent overseas many times. I can't imagine life without him. Every time I watch a war movie, I cry. I know it sounds selfish, but how can I talk him into not reenlisting or at least tell him I don't want him to?
ENTERTAINMENT
January 12, 2016
DEAR ABBY: Thirty years ago when I was an Army officer, my wife "went crazy. " She had an affair and wound up getting pregnant. When I got out of the Army, she saw the man one time more before we moved and got pregnant again! We had a child together later. When I found out my eldest son didn't have the correct blood type, I confronted her and she admitted it. I then had all my children tested and realized only the last one was mine. I love the other two as well as my son, and I would not destroy his or the other boys' lives.
NEWS
January 3, 2016
DEAR ABBY: I'm a gay man in my late 40s who has worked for 10 years in the public school system with young adults and kids with special needs. I have done everything from changing preschoolers' diapers, to tutoring, travel training and teaching life skills to older children. In the process, I have encountered my share of cooperation, defiance, failure and success. When speaking with family, friends or strangers about their parenting, I sometimes share my experiences. This is usually accepted and even encouraged, but occasionally I am put in my place by a parent who feels I must be told that what I've done "isn't the same as being a parent.
ENTERTAINMENT
November 5, 2015
D EAR ABBY: My parents are refusing to pay for me to attend my dream school after learning that I am sexually active with my boyfriend of two years. (They liked him very much prior to learning this.) He's in school in France. They say it would be a "sin" to pay for me to attend school in the same city he's in, and they expect me to stay home and go to a local community college. Would it be wrong to disobey their wishes and take out my own student loans? - Parents vs. Boyfriend in France DEAR P VS. B: I not only think it would be wrong, I'm afraid it could be a disaster for you. What if the relationship doesn't work out?
NEWS
October 23, 2015
D EAR ABBY: My daughter has been in a lesbian relationship for 14 years. They recently took me to lunch and informed me that her partner, "Nicole," is in the process of transitioning to a male. Nicole has now legally changed her name to "Nick" and has begun hormone treatments. They have been going to counseling for the past six months. Since Nick began the transition, I have seen him three times. Last week when I was visiting, I accidentally called Nick by the wrong pronoun, "she" instead of "he" a couple of times.
NEWS
October 9, 2015
D EAR ABBY: I am a widow in my early 50s. While I was dating a prominent OB-GYN, I found out that he's involved in criminal activity - operating a so-called pill mill. On our last date he asked me to join an escort service he was starting. I notified the medical board of the state he's practicing in and various government agencies. It amazes me that he is still practicing. He's doing abortions, which means he has access to vulnerable young women. Knowing this, I have lost trust in our medical establishment.
NEWS
October 2, 2015
D EAR ABBY: Our family dog recently passed away after a yearlong decline. I had grown up with him. He had reached the point where he needed daily care for his body, even though his mind was 100 percent there. Near the end, things got very bad. I got only about four hours of broken sleep a night caring for him, and no one in the family would help me. During part of his daily care routine, he had a second accident all over the freshly cleaned floor. I lost it and hit him. He's gone now, and I can barely live with myself.
ENTERTAINMENT
June 25, 2015
D EAR ABBY: Six months ago, my best friend's fiance raped me. He is a man I've known for many years, and I didn't see it coming. I became pregnant but had a miscarriage two months later. I recently had to have a hysterectomy from damage incurred from the rape and the miscarriage. I never went to the police or pressed charges, and very few people are aware of the whole horrific experience. I have been beyond traumatized by what happened. My best friend knows nothing about it, and I have been unable to face her since that awful night.
NEWS
July 1, 2013
D EAR ABBY: When we married, we both drank and smoked. My husband quit smoking five years ago, and I have continued to smoke off and on. If he catches me with a cigarette it becomes an argument, and it's either I quit or we're done! I love my husband, but I don't see the big deal if I smoke a cigarette. He sometimes makes me feel like a teenager hiding it from my parents! Any advice? - Closet Smoker in Wisconsin DEAR SMOKER: Surely you know that smoking isn't good for you, and it upsets your husband because he loves you. This is less about a contest of wills than the fact that you are addicted to nicotine and can't stop using.
ENTERTAINMENT
June 5, 2013
D EAR ABBY: I would like to respond to "Solitary Woman in Ottawa, Canada," the expectant mom who asked how she could raise her child to enjoy "periods of quiet, reflective fun by himself. " When my son was born, I felt it was important to give him confidence and the ability to be self-sufficient. Therefore, we have him help us with chores and encourage him to make healthy, responsible choices. When he was 2 and stopped taking naps, we told him that he had to have "quiet time" and that reading to himself was one of the options.
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