Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I'm 15. I have dated since I was 12, but never told my parents and sort of went out of my way to hide it from them. I had sex when I was 13, but was always careful about using birth control. I'm on the pill and always use condoms. I got pregnant anyway, five months ago. I always had irregular periods, so I didn't realize it until two months ago. I was scared out of my mind, but I was planning to tell the father and my parents. Then early last month I got a terrible pain. I went to the clinic and had a miscarriage.

DEAR ABBY: Please help me spread an important message to people who receive Social Security or other federal benefits each month via one of the estimated 5.4 million paper checks each month. Starting March 1, the Treasury Department is requiring all Social Security, VA, SSI and other federal beneficiaries receive their benefits by electronic payment. Senior citizens and other federal beneficiaries may choose either direct deposit or the Treasury-recommended Direct Express Debit MasterCard.

DEAR ABBY: I have enjoyed a good life. I have served my community. I have a wonderful wife, great children and good friends. However, it now appears that the disease that has been kept at bay has progressed, and soon my days will end. I have accepted my impending death as best one can, and have let few people know of it. I would like to thank all the wonderful people who have been an important part of my life over the years, and I'm wondering how...

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Disappearing Stepmother" brought back memories of my stepdaughter's wedding. Her mother tried to prevent us from being involved, but she included all of us. Dad and Stepdad walked her down the aisle together, and her mom and I lit the bride's candle. This bride needs to stand up to her mother. The dad should at least put his foot down on the guest list. Otherwise, resentment will poison the relationship between stepmom and daughter. - Another Stepmom DEAR STEPMOM: I encouraged "Disappearing" to attend the wedding to support her stepdaughter and inject a dose of reality into the "fantasy," and readers were quick to share their views: DEAR ABBY: First wives often hold the upper hand.

DEAR ABBY : I'm a 20-year-old female with five younger brothers and sisters. My 18-year-old sister is my biological sister, while my youngest four siblings are adopted. At the beginning of the year I discovered my 14-year-old brother has been peeping on my sister. When my parents found out, they sent him to counseling, but my sister is still pretty scarred from it. Today, when I was in the bathroom, I realized my brother was peeping at me through a hole in the wall. I feel extremely violated, but because he is only 14, I don't know what to do. How can we get him to stop, and how can my sister and I feel comfortable in our house again?

DEAR ABBY: America's tradesmen - plumbers, masons and others - get very little respect. The only time these professionals get attention is during an emergency. This lack of regard is leading our nation down an unfortunate path, as fewer young people pursue those jobs. On Sept. 21, we have a chance to thank those people on National Tradesmen Day. Drop a box of doughnuts at the job site near your home. Call your plumber and say, "Thank you. " Invite a tradesman to speak at school. Abby, would you help to get the word out?

DEAR ABBY: My daughters are attractive young women, both doing well in their professional careers. "Melanie," who is 27, is married to "Sam," an attractive and successful man. My 30-year-old daughter, "Alicia," has been divorced for a year. Her marriage failed two years ago because she and her husband had an appetite for sex outside their marriage. While I was disturbed about that, I was horrified to learn that Melanie allows her sister to occasionally have sex with Sam. Melanie's argument is that Sam is less likely to cheat given this situation.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my love for more than five years. Our lives have not been easy, but whose has? God decided to bless us with a little one while we were still too young, but we work hard to provide the best for our blessing. Somewhere down the road the romance disappeared. I often wonder if he despises me for getting pregnant or for keeping our son. My love had big plans and still does, but he seems miserable. I know I can't force him to make the effort to change his own life and pursue his dreams.

DEAR ABBY: I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder many years ago. I started a combined therapy about a year ago — individual and a dialectical behavioral therapy group. Everything has been going great, and I have learned a lot about myself. The problem is, I have become very attracted to my therapist and, as a result, I feel it is interfering with my treatment. Lately, my only interest in going to group or therapy is to see him and be in his presence. I also find myself canceling group if I know he won't be there.

D EAR ABBY: I have a friend who I believe is having an affair. I have no concrete evidence, only a slew of circumstantial evidence such as odd work hours, blocks of mystery time set aside at night in his cellphone's day planner, and evading questions about texts from females. I have no idea how to approach him, or if I even should. What makes me uneasy is that it's all based on my hunch. I'm usually pretty good with my hunches, though. Any words of wisdom would be welcome.

DEAR ABBY: We have a grandson who is 4 and very much a "princess boy. " He likes girl toys and dresses and doesn't like any of his boy toys. He's an adorable little boy and we love him to pieces. His parents don't accept this behavior, and I'm afraid it will affect him now and in the future. How would you handle this? We don't say anything to his parents because they are pretty much in denial. - Worried Grandma DEAR WORRIED: If he were my grandchild I'd talk with the parents.

D EAR ABBY: I work in a skilled-care facility. I am also preparing for law school. Today one of my co-workers humiliated me in the presence of others by asking if I have been gaining weight. I giggled and said, "Probably. " She proceeded to say that I have gained "a lot" of weight in my "fat face" and told me to get on the scale so she could see how much. I told her it's none of her business. She has done this to me and other co-workers before. Our supervisor likes her and doesn't reprimand her. How should I handle this?

D EAR ABBY: I got pregnant by a man I'll call "Ryan," who was just a fling. When I told him, he told me to have an abortion. He even had a friend of his call, offer to pay for it and drive me. Instead, I decided to "abort" Ryan from my life. I never told him when our baby was born. Part of me feels bad because I think every child should know his/her father and family members. Another man has been willing to step up and be a daddy for my child. Should I even bother to let Ryan know?

D EAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl who was taken away from my parents when I was 8 because they were on drugs. I haven't seen my father for three years, but now that he's living with my grandparents and me, I decided to give him a second chance. He has been very "hand-sy" with me - giving me massages, kissing my cheek - and this all makes me very uncomfortable. I thought it was because he hasn't seen me in a while, but today as I was leaving to go to my mom's, he slapped my butt as I walked out the door.

D EAR ABBY: Today I saw a former classmate I hadn't seen in 22 years. He always seemed a little slow and different from the rest of us, and he was picked on at school because of it. When I said hello to him and reminded him of my name and that we went to school together, he said, "You danced with me at the prom, and I always thought that was so nice!" I had forgotten that I had danced with him, but obviously the fact that I did meant something to him. My parents raised me to be nice to everyone, even if they weren't in my circle of friends.

D EAR ABBY: I'm 25 and have been with my husband for nine years, married for four. I cheated on him twice. He caught me both times. Even though I strayed, he decided to stay. But now he treats me like I'm a child and a prisoner. He took away my phone, my Internet and I can't go anywhere. He says this is my punishment for what I did. Do I really deserve that? I know we're both wrong, but is he more wrong? - Broken Wife DEAR BROKEN WIFE: From where I sit, you are equally wrong.

D EAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. We have no children together, but he has two young children from a previous relationship whom I have been raising as my own. They call me "Mom," but they know I'm not their biological mother. Their mother has not contacted them - nor cared to - since the younger one was just months old. My fear is, now that the kids are getting older they may want to form a relationship with her later on. I don't want to seem selfish, but they are my kids.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 18 years to a man I have a good relationship with. My problem is that he has always been extremely rude to my parents. They aren't critical or judgmental of him, and they try hard to be friendly and accommodating, perhaps thinking it might lessen the rudeness he continually shows them. Example: If my mom asks him how his parents are doing, without looking up from his cellphone he'll grunt and say, "They're fine" - nothing more. When we go out to dinner, he usually doesn't join in the conversation.

DEAR ABBY: My 14-year-old son, "Nils," recently joined a sport he really enjoys. His stepdad and I are at every practice, helping the coaches and coaching my son along. Nils recently commented to me that he would like it if his father could come and see him practice. I took it upon myself, as I usually do, to call my ex, "John," and suggest he make an appearance, because it would make our son happy. My husband, who has been a wonderful stepdad to Nils for 13 years now, told me I should leave it alone.