Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: Wouldn't it make sense if grade school teachers set aside time - weekly or monthly - to go over some very generic information that kids need to learn? I'm talking about things like how important it is to have pets neutered, how to manage money, what the average dad earns and what it costs to run a household and support a family. It might help kids to grow up understanding that money isn't free and get them past the "gimmes. " There are so many topics that ought to be introduced to youngsters at an early age - how to groom themselves properly, be exposed to a variety of music genres, teach them how grandparents can use help even from small children.

DEAR ABBY : Last night at a restaurant, my husband and I were surprised to see a male server wearing a blond wig and full makeup. I was, to say the least, shocked and very glad we hadn't brought the children - ages 11 and 14 - with us. How do you explain something like that to an 11-year-old? The 14-year-old would be able to "get it. " What kind of policies are in place for restaurants in cases like this? What if customers are offended? Could I request a different server or just leave?

DEAR ABBY: Since Halloween is nearly here, I have a question about trick-or-treating. Last year on Halloween I was sitting down for an early dinner that was planned for 5 p.m. so we wouldn't be disturbed by trick-or-treaters. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. When I answered, I was bombarded with requests for candy from three boys who live down the street. It was still light outside. I told them to come back later, when I wasn't eating dinner. I wanted to teach them that they shouldn't overextend the holiday and disrupt other people's lives.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have had many discussions regarding tattoos. She would say she wanted one; I'd be against it. Well, just before her birthday she had her best friend, a tattoo artist, give her a small tattoo of a dragonfly with dots representing our four children. I didn't know about it for about six weeks, until I walked up behind her at her computer desk and noticed it on her upper shoulder. Our kids knew and hadn't said anything. I got really mad and left the house for a while.

DEAR ABBY : I'm an 18-year-old woman who lives at home with my parents. I have been seeing an amazing person for a while now. There is just one problem. My mother has decided to put "rules" on our relationship. By rules, I mean: a curfew, how often I see him, where I am to be with him and various other things. Also, she randomly blurts out that I am "never to move in with him until I am married. " I don't plan on moving in with him until we both have our college degrees. I am technically an adult, which means to me that I can make my own decisions and suffer the consequences if there are any. I know I live in my parents' home.

DEAR ABBY : My father died eight years ago. Mother couldn't afford to bury him at the time, so he was cremated. Mom asked me to keep his ashes until her time was up so they could be buried together. Having the ashes makes me feel like he is still with me, that I have not totally lost him. However, over the last year, my brothers and sisters have led my mother to believe that I won't respect her wishes to have them buried together when the time comes. She is pressuring me to bury him NOW. It hurts me that my family could even think I would take that away from my mother.

DEAR ABBY : I am a 29-year-old gay man. In my community, coming out at work isn't an option. I really like my job and want to keep it, but a female colleague is not only trying to persuade me to go out with her, but she has gotten our co-workers involved. I'm constantly pressured by my supervisor to just "give her a chance. " I have already told everyone I'm not interested in mixing my personal and work lives, and I want to come to work only to work - not upgrade my marital status. But the pressure from everyone has gotten worse.

DEAR ABBY : I'm 17 and go to a high school with drug addicts and girls who are lucky they aren't pregnant. (Some are.) My father thinks I'm like them even though I have proven time and again that I'm not. I have a 4.0 GPA and have never done drugs or had sex. I'm not allowed to drive anywhere without my mother accompanying me. If I want to go on a date with my boyfriend, my parents must be present. I have lost friends who are tired of having to hang with my parents and me. I have tried telling my dad this, but he claims I'm being ridiculous and then picks a fight with me. I suggested family counseling, but Dad refused.

DEAR ABBY: I was raised in a home where "Yes, ma'am" and, "No, sir" were expected, and I have used that respectful form of address throughout my life. Yes, I grew up in the South. Six months ago, my husband and I moved north with our two children for job relocation. My co-workers tell me that they're offended by my constant use of "ma'am" and "sir. " I sense that upper management and my supervisor like being addressed that way. But what do you suggest I do with the rest of my co-workers?

DEAR ABBY : I am the single dad of two teenage boys (17 and 18) who are both in high school. I am wondering about something they do with their friends. The boys take showers in large groups. When they come in from running or sports, or if a group is spending the night, they shower in groups of two, three or four. It's not like we have a huge shower - it's normal size. I know there's nothing sexual going on because I can hear them talking and joking around. When I asked the boys about this, they looked at me like I had two heads.