July 20, 2012 |
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are going to Italy next year and taking our two sons, 8 and 12. We have saved for this trip for years. When my sister-in-law heard about it, she invited herself along, with her husband and two children who are my sons' ages. Although I love all of them, I don't want to spend my vacation of a lifetime with her. She often pawns her children off on others while she does her own thing. How do I approach this without hurting feelings? I'd rather not go on the trip than go with her. Help!
February 20, 2013
DEAR ABBY: While I always enjoy your column, I thought your advice to "Wants My Space," whose son "Dustin" moved away five years ago and expects her to keep his room as he left it, was off the mark. I would have told Dustin what I have told both of my daughters several times: It is not "your" room - I merely let you use it. Not only is "Wants" not obligated to use her home as a storage facility, she's doing her son a disservice by doing it under these circumstances. At 24, he needs to learn that if he wants a service, it's his obligation to procure it. There are plenty of businesses that can fulfill his needs at a reasonable price.
July 12, 2012 |
DEAR ABBY: "Wants to Do the Right Thing" asked about using email to thank those who donated to a fund-raiser for her son, who has bone cancer. What's wrong with that? I have been there. One of my twin boys was diagnosed with cancer at age 2. I was grateful for all the help my family and friends gave me, but I did not always have the time or energy to devote to writing thank-you cards. You really have to have experienced this kind of long-term stress and trauma to understand.
August 9, 2012 |
DEAR ABBY: I think what "End of My Rope" may have failed to say is that she's tired of sacrificing her own life to care for her ill-tempered, terminally ill husband. Harsh as this may seem, it's a fact. I have been caring for my father for eight years. He's suffering from severe dementia and is now an invalid. I, too, provide him round-the-clock care. My suggestion to "End" would be to talk to a respite facility about giving her a "vacation" from her husband. I do this with my father twice a year.
July 11, 2012 |
DEAR ABBY: I have been in an on-again/off-again relationship with a man for 16 years — more on than off. We have two boys together. He recently moved back in, and things are going well. We're in our 30s, and I'm ready to be more than girlfriend and boyfriend. I'd like to ask this special man in my life to marry me, but I'm not sure if a woman should ever propose marriage to a man. Should I go ahead and do it, or just be patient? — Longing for More in Texas DEAR LONGING FOR MORE: By all means, ask him to formalize your relationship.
February 25, 2013
DEAR ABBY: My two adult granddaughters have rejected me. Their father gave me this explanation: "They are uncomfortable with the way you rub their shoulders and necks. " These girls and both parents have misinterpreted my innocent expressions of affection, which haven't changed since the girls were little. The only change is in their perception of my actions. I asked twice to meet with these family members to discuss their concerns. It has been three months; no meeting time has been offered.
August 17, 2012
DEAR ABBY : I'm a male who has graduated from high school and is about to start college in another state. I'm ready for a new challenge. The only thing holding me back is a romantic attraction I have toward one of my high school teachers. He and I are best friends, but I love him more than as a friend. I have bought him many meals and gifts since he taught me, and I have found every opportunity available to be with him. I'm not sure if he's aware of my feelings, although I wonder whether I unconsciously make myself obvious.
March 22, 2011
DEAR ABBY: My job requires me to travel out of town several nights a week, leaving my wife home alone. She recently invited a mutual (male) friend out for dinner during my absence. He's the other half of a couple we socialize with frequently. (His wife was also out of town.) I told her I was uncomfortable with it. I don't think married men and women should go out alone with members of the opposite sex. She maintains that it wasn't a "date," that she was just having a meal with a friend.
January 11, 2013
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Had It in Hartford," who has been unhappily married to her husband for 20 years. She said she married him for all the wrong reasons and "has never loved him the way a woman should love a man. " After I had been married for seven years, I went to my pastor concerned that the grass on the other side was looking greener than mine. As we spoke, I began to realize the extent of the investment I had put into my marriage and that I didn't want to start over again on a new one. Love isn't just a feeling, but a choice and a commitment.
August 6, 2011
DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Vanessa," and I have been engaged almost a year. We're to be married in three months. When I popped the question, I took her to one of her favorite spots in the Smokey Mountains. When I proposed, she was overcome with emotion - but not the kind I would have thought. She said yes, but she wasn't at all happy about being surprised. She doesn't like surprises. At the time, I was sure she had an inkling about my intentions. We had discussed becoming engaged several times.