Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 30 years and have raised four children to adulthood. I recently found out my husband has been having an affair with a prostitute from a strip club. He paid all her living expenses and promised to marry her. She was 26 when it started; he is 56. He told her his wife had run away with another man and that he was divorced. When I confronted him, he lied, lied, lied. He wants to continue living together and pretend nothing happened. He says he wants to make up for his mistake with me, but all the while he was having unprotected sex. During this long affair, he was brazen, arrogant and abusive to me. Now he wants to be attentive, but he makes me sick.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I read the letter you ran from "Dateless in Dayton. " We have a few thoughts for him and anyone else who is having bad luck getting responses on dating websites. Even though we deactivated our memberships in the dating sites we were part of, we still get emails daily that " 'So-and-So' sent you a message. " It appears these sites still show our profiles as active. So it's entirely possible that the women "Dateless" has contacted were inactive or expired members who were never able to see his messages.

DEAR ABBY: I am a semiretired widow in my 60s. A few months ago, I started spending time with a man I work with. We would see each other once or twice a month, strictly as friends. Our "dates" ended with a platonic hug. About a month ago, a hug turned into an embrace. A week later, the embrace became a passionate kiss. Since then, whenever we get together - now once or twice a week - we spend a good portion of our time together "making out. " We love the way each other kisses.

DEAR ABBY: During the first year of our marriage, my husband cheated on me with women from his past as well as new encounters. When I confronted him, he promised to stop. He would then call and email these women, and tell them I was checking up on him and he'd contact them later. This has gone on for years. He swears he's no longer cheating, and we have sought counseling - which I stopped because the counselor and I agreed that my husband didn't think he had a problem. I have considered revenge cheating, but it goes against my morals.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a county jail for parole violation, and I have been struck with some not-so-good news while here. On a recent visit with my parents, I learned that my mother, who suffers from a variety of health problems, can no longer work. My father, who must work to cover the cost of her medical care, has been diagnosed with liver cancer. I don't feel like I have come to terms with my father's illness. Although I know what is eventually to come, I have yet to feel any emotion, good or bad. I'm not sure if I'm blocking it or if I'm being the strong-willed adult I was raised to be by my father and best friend.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing to you because I can share this anonymously. I am close to 60 years old, and I'm terrified of the dentist. Every time I pick up the phone to make an appointment, I get so anxious I feel like I'm going to die. Do you think I will be able to find a caring, compassionate and nonjudgmental dentist? Are they out there? Sometimes I wish I could die instead of going to the dentist. Am I crazy? - Mrs. Anxiety in the U.S.A. DEAR MRS. ANXIETY: Let me put it this way - if you're crazy, you have a lot of company.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are expecting our first child (a boy) later this year. How do I teach my son to enjoy solitude and his own company? Too many people today turn on the radio or TV because they can't appreciate the quiet. I want my little one to have loving friends, but also periods of quiet, reflective fun time by himself. What's the difference between solitude and loneliness? - Solitary woman in Ottawa, Canada DEAR SOLITARY WOMAN: The difference between solitude and loneliness depends on how an individual handles being alone.

DEAR ABBY: I always knew high blood pressure ran in my family, but I never realized that it could cause kidney disease. Because I felt healthy, I hadn't worried about my "borderline" hypertension. Turns out, my kidneys were silently being damaged. I have since made lifestyle changes to control my blood pressure and prevent further damage. These include daily exercise and cutting back on salt, sweets and fast food. March is National Kidney Month, and March 14 is World Kidney Day. The National Kidney Foundation is urging Americans to learn their risk factors for kidney disease and to get their kidneys checked with a simple urine and blood test.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old female from the West Coast. I am home-schooled and don't have many friends because I score high in tests, meaning I retain more information than the average person. On the rare occasion that I mingle with children my own age, they call me unpleasant names, play pranks on me and otherwise torture me. I hate it. I can't help that I am smart, and I refuse to degrade myself by dumbing down my actions and speech because they can't handle their insecurities.

DEAR ABBY: My now ex-wife cheated on me five years ago. She ran off with a nonworking criminal and has been bouncing from place to place with this bozo ever since. When they and their 3-year-old became homeless two weeks ago, all of a sudden she showed up at my door shoeless and with their son in a diaper. She said her boyfriend was abusive and asked to stay with me until she finds a place. I agreed under the provision that she not see this guy. I recently discovered she is seeing him again despite our agreement.