Diapers

By now, the pattern is annoyingly familiar: American scientists come upon a promising discovery. Their unused technology is picked up by Japanese competitors, who make improvements and develop new products that find their way back to the United States. It has happened again - with disposable diapers. Yes, in the international battle for the bottom, Japan is on top. The discovery that changed the diaper business, and propelled the Japanese into the technological lead, resulted from a project undertaken by the U.S. Department of Agriculture during the 1950s.

There comes a time when even a diehard fashionista has to stand firmly in her suede, studded clogs and ask, "Do we really need a label on this?" Sneakers? Maybe. T-shirts? Only of the soft Michael Stars variety. Jeans? Labels mean a lot on those. But diapers? C'mon, really? This summer, both Pampers and Huggies introduced specialty diapers - do those words even go together? - to the children's market. Pampers worked with designer Cynthia Rowley (more runway than rumpus room)

Larry Johnson reacted sharply to Dick Vermeil's comments that the seldom-used Chiefs running back "take the diapers off" if he plays this week in place of injured Priest Holmes. Johnson, a first-round draft pick out of Penn State, might be pressed into action Sunday against Houston if Holmes is still hobbled by a sore ankle. He has expressed his unhappiness over not playing. "I don't need no motivation," Johnson said. "If I need motivation, I'll talk to my father. I don't need another grown man telling me I need to take the diapers off. " Johnson has played sparingly behind Holmes, even dropping to third team behind Derrick Blaylock.

Police in Gloucester Township have released video of what they say is a man brazenly using a stolen credit or debit card to steal diapers from Walmart - with woman, child and baby in tow. The surveillance video from Gloucester Twp. shows what appears to be a white, compact station wagon to the Walmart in Deptford. A man emerges into the parking lot with a woman pushing a baby seated in a shopping cart, with a boy merrily skipping along, having to be cajoled to stay nearby.

Until recently, roadkill - scraping it up, that is - was at the top of Randy Lemon's list of things he didn't like about his job. That was until Lemon, a township public-works employee, got the first call to clean up nearly a dozen soiled, adult-size diapers from a road. And the calls haven't stopped. In late February, several more used diapers had to be raked up from the middle of Tomlinson Road and bagged. With the start of March, there were five more on Weikel Road, near the township pool.

In the years B.I.M. (Before Isabella Maya), the most general list of my interests and passions included all the arts, schemes for earning a living, shopping, socializing, exercising, traveling, appreciation of and/or worrying about the environment (ditto for food), and always, somewhere on the list, my relationship with the person who is now the father of Isabella Maya. Today, in my second year A.I.M. (After Isabella Maya), it often feels as if my thoughts are limited to three categories: diapers, milk and bananas.

On land, disposable diapers are a marketing force to be reckoned with - nine out of 10 tiny American tushes are covered with them. But in water, disposables become a force of another kind. Diapers absorb 80 percent of their own weight in water, and eventually fall to pieces. The bits, say those in the know, will clog a swimming pool's plumbing. And of course, there might be escaped bits of the organic kind. Yuck. Meet Joan Sitarz, mother of two, businesswoman and, as far as some people are concerned, a true visionary.

Manny is a typical 2-year-old. He wears a diaper, makes a mess with his food and throws a tantrum if something is taken away from him. He also gets into all kinds of trouble - smearing his mother's lipstick all over his face, dialing 911 on the telephone, pouring perfume and powder all over the bathroom. But that is what happens when he gets out of his cage. Manny is a capuchin monkey, a wiry, 4-pound simian who sleeps with a stuffed gorilla and a blanket, but who is capable of ripping a plastic lid to pieces with his teeth in minutes.

I'D LIKE TO respond to Laurence Barberra's Friday Rant of the Week about changing diapers in the White House. Is he referring to changing the wet-behind-the-ears diapers of Sen. Obama? Laurence Barberra thinks anyone who is over 70 wets their bloomers? Ridiculous. When Reagan told Gorbachev to tear down that wall, was he too feeble? Most of our great presidents were senior citizens: George Washington, FDR, Eisenhower and Reagan. Jan Sklaroff, Berwyn

SEN. McCain is tired. He's over 70. John, you served your time, you're a hero - now just go get your dentures and chill! Life is too short! When we say it is time for change we don't mean diapers in the Oval Office! Laurence Barberra Philadelphia

Police in Gloucester Township have released video of what they say is a man brazenly using a stolen credit or debit card to steal diapers from Walmart - with woman, child and baby in tow. The surveillance video from Gloucester Twp. shows what appears to be a white, compact station wagon to the Walmart in Deptford. A man emerges into the parking lot with a woman pushing a baby seated in a shopping cart, with a boy merrily skipping along, having to be cajoled to stay nearby.

The outrage over the latest humiliating airport security pat-down incident is understandable, but don't blame the screeners who searched an elderly woman. The Transportation Security Administration stirred public wrath again last week after forcing a 95-year-old, late-stage cancer patient to remove her adult diaper. The incident was an embarrassing indignity to the woman, who was traveling from Florida to Michigan to spend her last days with relatives. Her daughter has filed a complaint with federal officials.

There comes a time when even a diehard fashionista has to stand firmly in her suede, studded clogs and ask, "Do we really need a label on this?" Sneakers? Maybe. T-shirts? Only of the soft Michael Stars variety. Jeans? Labels mean a lot on those. But diapers? C'mon, really? This summer, both Pampers and Huggies introduced specialty diapers - do those words even go together? - to the children's market. Pampers worked with designer Cynthia Rowley (more runway than rumpus room)

CONNELLSVILLE, Pa. - State police say a woman wiped a dirty diaper on the window of another woman's vehicle during a dispute in a traffic jam as both were leaving the Fayette County Fair. Jessica Hollis, 23, of Mount Pleasant, has been charged with harassment in the incident, which state police in Uniontown say happened about 10:50 p.m. Saturday. Police say Hollis smeared the diaper on the rear window of a vehicle driven by Melanie Campbell, 36, of Hopwood. Police say the women began arguing while they were stuck in traffic leaving the fairgrounds in Dunbar Township.

A former aide at a Gloucester County nursing home was convicted yesterday of striking an 89-year-old Alzheimer's patient in the head with his own soiled diaper. Karen Long, 58, was found guilty by a Gloucester County jury of assault on an institutionalized elderly person. Long, of Salem, is the first person in Gloucester County who has ever been prosecuted for that crime. The crime is a fourth-degree offense, which would not usually call for any period of incarceration. However, the Gloucester County Prosecutor's Office has indicated it will ask a judge to impose some jail time at Long's sentencing next month.

I'D LIKE TO respond to Laurence Barberra's Friday Rant of the Week about changing diapers in the White House. Is he referring to changing the wet-behind-the-ears diapers of Sen. Obama? Laurence Barberra thinks anyone who is over 70 wets their bloomers? Ridiculous. When Reagan told Gorbachev to tear down that wall, was he too feeble? Most of our great presidents were senior citizens: George Washington, FDR, Eisenhower and Reagan. Jan Sklaroff, Berwyn

SEN. McCain is tired. He's over 70. John, you served your time, you're a hero - now just go get your dentures and chill! Life is too short! When we say it is time for change we don't mean diapers in the Oval Office! Laurence Barberra Philadelphia

LaToya Askew was never much of a coupon clipper, but having two children under two years of age means diapers, diapers, diapers. And to make that more affordable, she's all about coupons, coupons, coupons. "I don't care if it's 50 cents off or a dollar off; if it's diapers, I'm cutting it out," said Askew, 26, of West Philadelphia. She's also looking for ways to save on staples, scanning store circulars for sales and spending time each Sunday with newspapers and scissors in hand.

Felt has become a perennial favorite in home decor. Why the staying power? Its ability to serve a variety of functions. Get ready to fuel the fire (and store surplus wood) with FELT Studio's handy Log Tote ($80). Available at www.feltstudio.com . Josh Jakus' Eggflat ($60) unfurls to hold an assortment of fruit, or your keys and loose change. Available in November at Bruges Home, 323 Race St., or now at www.joshjakus.com . Add some cushion to all that sitting with Blu Dot's woven-felt Cozy Cozy ($39)

Helping Phil's jury LOS ANGELES - The judge in record producer Phil Spector's murder trial decided yesterday not to allow the deadlocked jury to consider a lesser charge of involuntary manslaughter. But he asked them how the court might help them break the impasse - a 7-5 split, according to the foreman, who has not said which way the panel is leaning. Ex-astronaut's lawyers say she was just having a bad day ORLANDO, Fla. - Accusations that the former astronaut Lisa Nowak had made a diaper-assisted, 1,000-mile drive to confront a woman vying for the affections of the same space shuttle pilot turned into water-cooler and late-night TV punchlines.