Dinner Party

CARA SCHNEIDER has a fear of main dishes. She's also intimidated by sit-down dinner parties and slightly phobic about roasting meat. And don't even get her started on the stress of getting everything on the table at the same time. But armed with Steve Poses' new cookbook, "At Home: A Caterer's Guide to Cooking & Entertaining" ( www.athomebysteveposes.com ), she recently conquered her fears and threw a relaxed dinner party for six at her home in Fairmount. Schneider, a public relations professional with the Greater Philadelphia Tourism & Marketing Corporation, invited old pals from her school days in Cheltenham to sit around her table.

Something is blowing out the candles at that warming staple of wintertime - the private dinner party. It's a chilling breeze, blowing through the dining rooms of some of the moderately affluent, where the tinkling of wine glasses once sang a pretty song. The breeze has been stirred by the demands of the two-income family, some say, or by a change in how folks share friendships, or simply by a need for more quiet time. It appears to have emptied kitchens from the woods of upper Bucks County to the townhouses of Center City, as fewer people seem to be opening wide their doors to share a cozy evening at home.

It is no longer the thing to keep up with the Joneses: Now, you keep up with the Trumps. Or, at least, you try to keep up with the Trumps. You may not be rich enough to own a yacht that sails nowhere or a mansion in Palm Beach that is used only a few days a year, but you can go in for conspicuous consumption in smaller ways that show you are keeping up with the times, with what might be called the Trumped-up age. Good taste, even good sense, give...

Five men accused of orchestrating an illegal cockfight above a garage on Tilghman Street near 2nd on New Year's Day yesterday had their wings clipped by a jury. All were found guilty of cruelty to animals and conspiracy. Jose Medina, 59, who was tried under the name of Media, was also found guilty of a gambling charge. He says he rented the garage for a "buffet party. " Common Pleas Judge John J. Chiovero allowed the men to remain free on bail pending sentencing in July.

District Attorney Ronald Castille has decided not to retry Neil Ferber in the killings of mobster Chelsais "Steve" Booras and a companion inside a South Philadelphia restaurant in 1981. Ferber, who was released from prison Dec. 31, after former DA Edward Rendell withdrew his opposition to a new trial, spent more than three years in prison under a death sentence for the slayings of Booras, 50, and Janette Curro, 54. After his release, Ferber, 39, suffered a nervous breakdown and has been confined to a local hospital, according to his attorney, Dennis J. Cogan.

Question: Ever since my husband left me five years ago, it seems I attract women friends in the process of divorce who want me to give them emotional support. However, I'm not good at it. First, it brings flashbacks of the most painful time in my life. Second, I know there are two sides to every story. My former best friend, who divorced her husband for not being emotional enough, did not appreciate my saying that I thought he loved her, and he was steady, and this was painful for him. Now another friend, whose marriage I admired because her husband was very communicative and loving, is acting in a way that's heading straight for the judge.

ICI Pharmaceuticals Group of ICI Americas Inc., of Wilmington, Del., announced last week the appointment of Steven Hamburger to specialist of drug registration in the Drug Regulatory Affairs Department. Hamburger will be responsible for preparing and submitting documentation for investigational new drugs and new drug applications to the the Food and Drug Administration for ICI Pharmaceuticals Group. Hamburger, a resident of Downingtown, joins ICI from SmithKline Beecham Pharmaceuticals PLC, where he was employed as an associate senior investigator for new cardiovascular pharmaceuticals.

Give a creativity-in-spin award to James Eisenhower for defending his law firm's questionable practices in the Philadelphia Housing Authority's legal-billing scandal ("HUD tells PHA to justify $1 million in legal fees, or repay it," July 22). He was, he said, "ethically and aggressively representing the interests of his clients. " Excuse me, but what kind of aggressive representation goes on at a dinner party, a rally, and ribbon cuttings? The Inquirer stories have brought out the real travesty that occurred.

When I met Judge A. Leon Higginbotham a decade ago, I already knew he was a brilliant jurist. I quickly discovered that he was also delightful, engaging and kind. As we chatted at a dinner party thrown by Lani Guinier for her husband, Nolan Bowie, I was so taken with Judge Higginbotham that I teasingly told his wife Evelyn that she'd have had competition if she hadn't found him first. Now he's gone, killed by a massive stroke Monday night. "Judge Higginbotham was an amazing man in so many ways," Guinier said in an interview by e-mail.

Ruth Rodman has sworn off matchmaking. At a recent dinner party, the Ardmore hostess introduced a single female friend to a new acquaintance, James Masiello. Rodman and her husband, Theodore, had met the personable businessman when his company processed their refinancing application. Or so they thought. Masiello, police said yesterday, was a swindler who posed as a mortgage broker to bilk Main Line residents out of money and personal information. The 57-year-old Mount Laurel man was arrested Thursday night on charges of collecting checks made out to his Narberth employer, Beneficial Mortgage Services, and funneling the money into his bank account.

Question: Ever since my husband left me five years ago, it seems I attract women friends in the process of divorce who want me to give them emotional support. However, I'm not good at it. First, it brings flashbacks of the most painful time in my life. Second, I know there are two sides to every story. My former best friend, who divorced her husband for not being emotional enough, did not appreciate my saying that I thought he loved her, and he was steady, and this was painful for him. Now another friend, whose marriage I admired because her husband was very communicative and loving, is acting in a way that's heading straight for the judge.

Here is an excerpt from the blog "My Daughter's Kitchen. " Sally is planning a small dinner party with friends and requested a recipe that is impressive but also doable - one that is foolproof, without tricky techniques, and won't produce too much stress. When entertaining, I told her, I find it so much easier to prepare dishes made in advance, before the kitchen fills with friends chatting and distracting from the task at hand. Plus, it is much more fun for the cook to have the meal in the oven, and have a chance to enjoy the party.

Expect the usual drama to be served along with the turkey and cranberries at family gatherings this holiday season. Been that way for years, right? Family and friends show up, feast with gusto, then play their roles perfectly: the turkey carver, the neighbor who always promises to bring appetizers then arrives bearing dessert, the football-watchers plopped on the sofa post-dinner, and the same two cousins who always help prep the meal, tweak the gravy, clear the table, and clean up the kitchen.

By Ali Smith Pantheon Books. 256 pp. $25 Reviewed by Katie Haegele Once, a man named Miles went to a dinner party and when no one was paying much attention, he walked upstairs and barricaded himself in a spare bedroom and didn't come out for hours, then weeks, then months. He became a celebrity, an invisible spectacle, eventually drawing a crowd of people who camped out on the street beside the house, desperate for a glimpse of him. That's the premise, both absurd and promising, of There But For The . Ambitious, rambunctious, and poetic, it fulfills this promise, by and large.

Give a creativity-in-spin award to James Eisenhower for defending his law firm's questionable practices in the Philadelphia Housing Authority's legal-billing scandal ("HUD tells PHA to justify $1 million in legal fees, or repay it," July 22). He was, he said, "ethically and aggressively representing the interests of his clients. " Excuse me, but what kind of aggressive representation goes on at a dinner party, a rally, and ribbon cuttings? The Inquirer stories have brought out the real travesty that occurred.

The Philadelphia Housing Authority will have to reimburse the federal government for about $1 million it spent on legal fees, including more than $150,000 as a retainer for former City Controller Jonathan Saidel, unless it can come up with a better explanation for those bills by next Friday. The U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, which provides most of PHA's budget, is seeking the money because the local agency has "failed to provide any evidence of bona fide services rendered" by Saidel, according to a letter sent to PHA by HUD's top local lawyer, Sheryl L. Johnson.

DEAR ABBY: I'm working on a school project with several other girls, but I have an issue with one of them. "Sara" wanted to write the paper for our project, which is a huge part of our grade. Once she started writing it, we all realized she wasn't very good at it. I felt I could do a better job and asked if I could do it instead or help critique and edit it. Sara refuses. I don't want to start a fight, but this is a large part of my grade, and the project is being entered in a contest that I really want to win. Is there a way I can get her to let me help, or should I just let it go?

J ERRY BLAVAT was moved to what looked like tears last night at the 360 club at Parx Casino in Bensalem, where music friends such as Chubby Checker , Leon Huff and Bunny Sigler and broadcaster Trudy Haynes showed up to surprise the Geator and praise him for his 50 years in show business. Blavat's daughter Deserie organized the event, which her sisters Gerrie and Stacy attended. Their sister Kathi Furia had a good reason to miss the party: Her daughter Samantha had just given birth to a boy. Chickie's & Pete's owner Pete Ciarrocchi did a spot-on impression of the Geator.

Dinner was in danger. A crucial front burner wasn't working, the meat thermometer drew a blank, the skillets wouldn't fit in the oven as planned, and a pot holder caught fire. But as far as Karyn Scher knew, her prize dinner party was proceeding according to plan. Indeed, it was a prize - she'd bid hundreds of dollars for the dinner at a silent auction in the fall to benefit First Person Arts, a Philadelphia not-for-profit that celebrates the many forms of storytelling. Now Scher, a clinical psychologist, and her husband, Eddie Ohlbaum, a Temple University law professor, sat at either end of the dining room table in their Penn Valley home, entertaining 10 friends and feeling quasi-confident that calamity would not strike their kitchen.

CARA SCHNEIDER has a fear of main dishes. She's also intimidated by sit-down dinner parties and slightly phobic about roasting meat. And don't even get her started on the stress of getting everything on the table at the same time. But armed with Steve Poses' new cookbook, "At Home: A Caterer's Guide to Cooking & Entertaining" ( www.athomebysteveposes.com ), she recently conquered her fears and threw a relaxed dinner party for six at her home in Fairmount. Schneider, a public relations professional with the Greater Philadelphia Tourism & Marketing Corporation, invited old pals from her school days in Cheltenham to sit around her table.