Donkey

WHEN ALL of Comcast's legal and financial minds got together to discuss a purchase of NBC, do you think any of them raised the hypothetical question: "Do we have a corporate position on donkey semen?" That was the question du jour for the media conglomerate after "Fear Factor" shot an episode this past summer in which contestants were challenged to drink a glass of donkey semen (and one of urine, you know, as a cocktail) and some of them did - because one's thirst for cash knows no limits.

Former Gov.Ed Rendell on June 5 will release an autobiography wrapped in a political manifesto about what he calls the "Wussification of America. " The book, A Nation of Wusses: How America's Leaders Lost the Guts to Make Us Great, is classic Rendell. He marvels at his own clever political instincts, complains about the attention of the media and waxes wonkish on issues he holds dear, such as investing in the nation's infrastructure of roads and bridges. Some highlights: No Rendell book would be complete without a few bawdy bits.

It is difficult to say whether the recent headline-grabbing tale of Blackie the donkey stems more from the British obsession with animals in distress or from Fleet Street's obsession with itself. There's ample historical evidence for both. This is, after all, a nation that will rally to even the faintest signal of a bird or mammal in need. A nation that invented the term "animal welfare" and now has refined it to an art. A nation that generously supports such charities as the Mule Society, the National Fancy Rat Society, the British Hedgehog Preservation Society, and the Tortoise Trust.

A three-vehicle crash on the New Jersey Turnpike left the driver of pickup truck pulling a horse trailer seriously injured and snarled southbound traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike for most of the morning. Three distressed horses and a donkey were removed from the trailer pulled by the pickup and taken to a nearby farm, where they were treated for cuts and bruises. Police said the crash occurred near Exit 7A in Robbinsville about 5:15 a.m. when a tractor-trailer rammed the horse trailer, pushing the pickup under the trailer of another rig. It took rescue crews 2 1/2 hours to extricate the driver from the mangled wreckage of the pickup.

For many years there has been a famous phrase that derives from the 12-step recovery movement. It refers to a thing that is very big, and obvious, and of crucial importance, that people around it refuse for whatever reason to acknowledge. It's called "the elephant in the living room. " There is an elephant in the living room in the Florida story. Actually, it's a donkey. And actually, there are a number of them. When the story of the Florida recounts and hand-counts and court decisions is reported on TV and in the newspapers, the journalists uniformly fail to speak of the donkey in the living room.

MEXICO CITY PLANE-DONKEY CRASH KILLS 2 Two people were killed when a light plane crashed into a donkey last week on a remote airstrip in the northern state of Chihuahua, the government news agency Notimex reported yesterday. The pilot of the plane tried to avoid the animal but failed and then crashed into some trees, Notimex quoted local police as saying. The pilot and one passenger died. The fate of the donkey was unknown.

FORT CALHOUN, Neb. - Smoke, a donkey, is now at his new home in an eastern Nebraska pasture after a more than 6,000-mile journey. Smoke became a friend and mascot to a group of Marines serving in Iraq's Anbar Province nearly three years ago. The chest-high donkey, named for his grayish color, became such a part of the unit that he received his own care-packages and cards. Retired Marine Col. John Folsom said that Smoke "was a battle buddy, and you don't leave your battle buddy behind.

Hi, kids! Wanna hear about the hottest new board game for the holidays?? It's so new that it hasn't even been PRODUCED yet! (And if any clever game entrepreneurs think they can steal the idea from here, watch out.) The game is called . . . Monopolize! The whole aim, see, is to monopolize the board while jumping ahead from square to square, blocking your opponents' path but being careful to avoid scary pitfalls - men in black robes, lawyers in dark suits, women with big fake eyelashes - that might block your own path.

It's supposed to be the carrot OR the stick. Isn't it? Hold the carrot in front of the donkey, and the donkey pulls the wagon as it chases the carrot. If the donkey finally wises up and stops chasing, then use the stick to adjust the donkey's attitude. But White House staff and their sub-geniuses at the United States Department of Transportation have come up with a new twist to that old game. It's called carrot AND stick. The difference is important. After five years of unsuccessful attempts to end federal subsidies to urban mass transit, the Reagan administration has come up with a "concept paper" for fiscal year 1987 that would give large urban areas the carrot of fiscal flexibility and then smack them upside the head with significantly reduced money.

'Hey, let's go down to the department store and hang out around the dressing rooms. Maybe we can see some naked women. " "Cool. " The previous little conversation is a sort of newspaper Rorschach test. I'm going to ask you a question about it. Read it again, if you want, before you answer. Now: Whom do you see speaking? If you pictured a couple of bratty 10-year old boys, you're probably pretty normal. (But don't take off any points if you pictured President Clinton and one of his pals.

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - Worried about horse meat in your beef? Try water buffalo, donkey, and goat. South African food scientists said they have found all three in mislabeled foods including beef burgers, ground beef and sausages. A study published by three professors at Stellenbosch University found that 68 percent of 139 samples contained species not declared in the product label, with the highest incidence in sausages, burger patties and deli meats. The study found soy and gluten were not labeled in 28 percent of products tested.

THERE MAY BE SOMETHING unseemly about somebody trying to make money for something that may have more to do with genetics than anything else, but I'm not going to knock a "Housewife" on a hustle. Besides, having a side gig - whether it's selling jewelry, wigs or whatever - is part of what makes acting the fool on Bravo's over-the-top "Real Housewives" series worth the sky-high heels and risk of breaking a nail in a catfight. "Real Housewives of Atlanta" co-star Phaedra Parks last week released a new exercise video called "Phine Body," which purports to teach women how to get a backside like her trademark donkey booty.

It's Elephants-Donkeys vs. Bears-Lions and Cardinals-Giants. A battle royal! The third and final presidential debate tonight goes up against heavy TV competition: not only Monday Night Football , in which the Chicago Bears face off against the Detroit Lions, but also the seventh and deciding game of the National League Championship Series between baseball's San Francisco Giants and St. Louis Cardinals. A Game Seven is big: It determines who goes to the World Series to play the Detroit Tigers.

Former Gov.Ed Rendell on June 5 will release an autobiography wrapped in a political manifesto about what he calls the "Wussification of America. " The book, A Nation of Wusses: How America's Leaders Lost the Guts to Make Us Great, is classic Rendell. He marvels at his own clever political instincts, complains about the attention of the media and waxes wonkish on issues he holds dear, such as investing in the nation's infrastructure of roads and bridges. Some highlights: No Rendell book would be complete without a few bawdy bits.

With pastures withered from a lingering drought, farmers in Texas and northwest Louisiana have abandoned donkeys by the hundreds, turning them into wandering refugees that have severely tested animal rescue groups. The nation's biggest donkey rescue group says that since March 2011, it has taken in nearly 800 donkeys abandoned in Texas, where ranchers mainly used the animals to guard their herds. Many of the cattle and goats have been sold off, largely because of the drought and the nation's economic slump, putting the donkeys out of a job. And although the drought that began in late 2010 is over now, the flood of donkeys continues, said Mark Meyers, executive director of Peaceful Valley Donkey Rescue.

A three-vehicle crash on the New Jersey Turnpike left the driver of pickup truck pulling a horse trailer seriously injured and snarled southbound traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike for most of the morning. Three distressed horses and a donkey were removed from the trailer pulled by the pickup and taken to a nearby farm, where they were treated for cuts and bruises. Police said the crash occurred near Exit 7A in Robbinsville about 5:15 a.m. when a tractor-trailer rammed the horse trailer, pushing the pickup under the trailer of another rig. It took rescue crews 2 1/2 hours to extricate the driver from the mangled wreckage of the pickup.

WHEN ALL of Comcast's legal and financial minds got together to discuss a purchase of NBC, do you think any of them raised the hypothetical question: "Do we have a corporate position on donkey semen?" That was the question du jour for the media conglomerate after "Fear Factor" shot an episode this past summer in which contestants were challenged to drink a glass of donkey semen (and one of urine, you know, as a cocktail) and some of them did - because one's thirst for cash knows no limits.

The miniature donkeys that graze at the Mount Laurel homestead of U.S. Rep. Jon Runyan became political fodder as soon as the former Eagles tackle announced his candidacy in 2009. Under a New Jersey law designed to protect farmers from soaring property taxes, Runyan receives a 98 percent tax break on most of his land because he keeps donkeys and sells firewood. Democrats attacked Runyan, whose median net worth is estimated at $7 million, for taking advantage of a farm program to avoid paying the full tax rate on 20 of his 23 acres.

FORT CALHOUN, Neb. - Smoke, a donkey, is now at his new home in an eastern Nebraska pasture after a more than 6,000-mile journey. Smoke became a friend and mascot to a group of Marines serving in Iraq's Anbar Province nearly three years ago. The chest-high donkey, named for his grayish color, became such a part of the unit that he received his own care-packages and cards. Retired Marine Col. John Folsom said that Smoke "was a battle buddy, and you don't leave your battle buddy behind.

Former Philadelphia Eagle Jon Runyan is getting a break on his property taxes for his lavish Mount Laurel homestead - thanks in part to his four donkeys. Runyan, a Republican candidate for the U.S. House, paid $57,000 in taxes last year on five of his acres, which contain his home. But on most of his property - 20 acres - he paid $468 in taxes, according to township records. On his application for a farmland assessment in July, Runyan said he uses five acres as grazing land for his donkeys and 15 for timber, harvesting seven cords of firewood that he sold for $810.