January 30, 2012 |
WHEN ALL of Comcast's legal and financial minds got together to discuss a purchase of NBC, do you think any of them raised the hypothetical question: "Do we have a corporate position on donkey semen?" That was the question du jour for the media conglomerate after "Fear Factor" shot an episode this past summer in which contestants were challenged to drink a glass of donkey semen (and one of urine, you know, as a cocktail) and some of them did - because one's thirst for cash knows no limits.
March 12, 1987 |
It is difficult to say whether the recent headline-grabbing tale of Blackie the donkey stems more from the British obsession with animals in distress or from Fleet Street's obsession with itself. There's ample historical evidence for both. This is, after all, a nation that will rally to even the faintest signal of a bird or mammal in need. A nation that invented the term "animal welfare" and now has refined it to an art. A nation that generously supports such charities as the Mule Society, the National Fancy Rat Society, the British Hedgehog Preservation Society, and the Tortoise Trust.
February 27, 2012 |
A three-vehicle crash on the New Jersey Turnpike left the driver of pickup truck pulling a horse trailer seriously injured and snarled southbound traffic on the New Jersey Turnpike for most of the morning. Three distressed horses and a donkey were removed from the trailer pulled by the pickup and taken to a nearby farm, where they were treated for cuts and bruises. Police said the crash occurred near Exit 7A in Robbinsville about 5:15 a.m. when a tractor-trailer rammed the horse trailer, pushing the pickup under the trailer of another rig. It took rescue crews 2 1/2 hours to extricate the driver from the mangled wreckage of the pickup.
May 11, 2012 |
Former Gov.Ed Rendell on June 5 will release an autobiography wrapped in a political manifesto about what he calls the "Wussification of America. " The book, A Nation of Wusses: How America's Leaders Lost the Guts to Make Us Great, is classic Rendell. He marvels at his own clever political instincts, complains about the attention of the media and waxes wonkish on issues he holds dear, such as investing in the nation's infrastructure of roads and bridges. Some highlights: No Rendell book would be complete without a few bawdy bits.
November 21, 2000 |
For many years there has been a famous phrase that derives from the 12-step recovery movement. It refers to a thing that is very big, and obvious, and of crucial importance, that people around it refuse for whatever reason to acknowledge. It's called "the elephant in the living room. " There is an elephant in the living room in the Florida story. Actually, it's a donkey. And actually, there are a number of them. When the story of the Florida recounts and hand-counts and court decisions is reported on TV and in the newspapers, the journalists uniformly fail to speak of the donkey in the living room.
April 11, 1994 |
MEXICO CITY PLANE-DONKEY CRASH KILLS 2 Two people were killed when a light plane crashed into a donkey last week on a remote airstrip in the northern state of Chihuahua, the government news agency Notimex reported yesterday. The pilot of the plane tried to avoid the animal but failed and then crashed into some trees, Notimex quoted local police as saying. The pilot and one passenger died. The fate of the donkey was unknown.
May 19, 2011 |
FORT CALHOUN, Neb. - Smoke, a donkey, is now at his new home in an eastern Nebraska pasture after a more than 6,000-mile journey. Smoke became a friend and mascot to a group of Marines serving in Iraq's Anbar Province nearly three years ago. The chest-high donkey, named for his grayish color, became such a part of the unit that he received his own care-packages and cards. Retired Marine Col. John Folsom said that Smoke "was a battle buddy, and you don't leave your battle buddy behind.
December 10, 2000 |
Hi, kids! Wanna hear about the hottest new board game for the holidays?? It's so new that it hasn't even been PRODUCED yet! (And if any clever game entrepreneurs think they can steal the idea from here, watch out.) The game is called . . . Monopolize! The whole aim, see, is to monopolize the board while jumping ahead from square to square, blocking your opponents' path but being careful to avoid scary pitfalls - men in black robes, lawyers in dark suits, women with big fake eyelashes - that might block your own path.
January 7, 1986
It's supposed to be the carrot OR the stick. Isn't it? Hold the carrot in front of the donkey, and the donkey pulls the wagon as it chases the carrot. If the donkey finally wises up and stops chasing, then use the stick to adjust the donkey's attitude. But White House staff and their sub-geniuses at the United States Department of Transportation have come up with a new twist to that old game. It's called carrot AND stick. The difference is important. After five years of unsuccessful attempts to end federal subsidies to urban mass transit, the Reagan administration has come up with a "concept paper" for fiscal year 1987 that would give large urban areas the carrot of fiscal flexibility and then smack them upside the head with significantly reduced money.
April 6, 1999 |
'Hey, let's go down to the department store and hang out around the dressing rooms. Maybe we can see some naked women. " "Cool. " The previous little conversation is a sort of newspaper Rorschach test. I'm going to ask you a question about it. Read it again, if you want, before you answer. Now: Whom do you see speaking? If you pictured a couple of bratty 10-year old boys, you're probably pretty normal. (But don't take off any points if you pictured President Clinton and one of his pals.