December 10, 2000 |
Hi, kids! Wanna hear about the hottest new board game for the holidays?? It's so new that it hasn't even been PRODUCED yet! (And if any clever game entrepreneurs think they can steal the idea from here, watch out.) The game is called . . . Monopolize! The whole aim, see, is to monopolize the board while jumping ahead from square to square, blocking your opponents' path but being careful to avoid scary pitfalls - men in black robes, lawyers in dark suits, women with big fake eyelashes - that might block your own path.
November 21, 2000 |
For many years there has been a famous phrase that derives from the 12-step recovery movement. It refers to a thing that is very big, and obvious, and of crucial importance, that people around it refuse for whatever reason to acknowledge. It's called "the elephant in the living room. " There is an elephant in the living room in the Florida story. Actually, it's a donkey. And actually, there are a number of them. When the story of the Florida recounts and hand-counts and court decisions is reported on TV and in the newspapers, the journalists uniformly fail to speak of the donkey in the living room.
September 21, 2000 |
Laura T. Barnes has written books about some of those closest to her, but none of her characters needed to be thinly veiled. That's because the lovable figures in her "Ernest" children's series are animals whose real-life counterparts owe much to Barnes' passion for adopting four-legged orphans. Barnes will be at Kenny's News Agency & Bookstore, 17 W. State St., Doylestown, from noon to 3 p.m. Saturday to sign Twist and Ernest, the first in her self-published two-book series - and to take orders for Teeny Tiny Ernest, the second volume, which will be published next month.
April 24, 2000 |
The politicizing of the giraffe started at Christmas. That is when Betty Pihs innocently bought her daughter-in-law Cindy Rau-Hatton, a Township Council member, a giraffe pin. When she saw the gold-trimmed lapel pin with rhinestones at Kohl's department store, Pihs said, she thought it would make a cute accessory to the suits that Rau-Hatton wears to council meetings. Little did Pihs know that she would be inspiring a political icon for her daughter-in-law's reelection bid as an independent.
April 6, 1999 |
'Hey, let's go down to the department store and hang out around the dressing rooms. Maybe we can see some naked women. " "Cool. " The previous little conversation is a sort of newspaper Rorschach test. I'm going to ask you a question about it. Read it again, if you want, before you answer. Now: Whom do you see speaking? If you pictured a couple of bratty 10-year old boys, you're probably pretty normal. (But don't take off any points if you pictured President Clinton and one of his pals.
September 25, 1998 |
"The trick is in the hand movements," Sam Matthews explains as my 8-year-old daughter, Grace, grabs hold of Kenzie's teat and gives it a good squeeze. Nothing. She squeezes again, a little harder. Still nothing. Once again, this time using a sequential closing motion of her fingers, from top to bottom, as Farmer Matthews has instructed. Success! A warm, milky white stream of liquid shoots out, wetting Grace's hand, which she proceeds to lick. "It's delicious!" she exclaims over the milk, which contains 3.6 percent butterfat.
January 15, 1998 |
Local animal rights advocates say that Cherry Hill High School West is being, well, asinine. Friday night, the school's Varsity Club hopes the school gymnasium will fill up with at least 200 fans, cheering and laughing as students and faculty attempt to play basketball while riding on the backs of donkeys. Outside in the cold night, activists are expecting about 30 people to protest what they call the abuse of the donkeys used in the popular fund-raising event. "People sitting on the donkeys' backs, pushing them, pulling on them, balls whizzing past their heads - it's not right," said High School East teacher Marilyn Halpern, one of the animal-rights advocates.
November 17, 1995 |
SHE'S BOWLED OVER BY REALLY BIG BOX OF CEREAL Martha Bell is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, especially now that she has 315 pounds of the chocolate-flavored cereal to give away. "Now, is that a box of cereal or what?" asked Bell, of Paducah, Ky., showing off the 4-foot-tall box of cereal. Although it's enough to keep more than a handful of kids busy through the Saturday morning cartoons, the cereal actually is destined for the senior citizens who receive food from Bell's charity, Martha's Vineyard.
April 11, 1994 |
MEXICO CITY PLANE-DONKEY CRASH KILLS 2 Two people were killed when a light plane crashed into a donkey last week on a remote airstrip in the northern state of Chihuahua, the government news agency Notimex reported yesterday. The pilot of the plane tried to avoid the animal but failed and then crashed into some trees, Notimex quoted local police as saying. The pilot and one passenger died. The fate of the donkey was unknown.
February 4, 1994 |
Even by the standards of this city, the neighborhood of Manshiet Nasr is overflowing with rubbish. Muddy back alleys are crammed with trash piled too high for even goats to get to. Bales of used cardboard are heaped on street corners. Ridges of old plastic pails, chairs and brightly colored jetsam rise along rooftops. Barefoot boys totter down rutted dirt streets wrestling bags of tin cans, and donkeys haul carts brimming with sacks of shredded paper. The persistent odor of rotting fruit penetrates the slum's farthest, dankest reaches.