Ellen Degeneres

Apparently, Americans have invented the job of celebrity because, without it, we'd never figure out how to talk about what's bugging us. That's one truth underlying Ellen DeGeneres' ritually hyped, prime-time coming-out party on ABC television Wednesday night. They quickly got tiresome, the feverish claims that this crisply written episode of an amiable, but fading sitcom was either (a) as important a step for America as the moon landing or (b) a recruitment video for the devil.

The black comedy "Mr. Wrong" plays on the notion that there has always been something disturbing about "perfect" love as portrayed in Hollywood romances. Does Meg Ryan pursue Tom Hanks in "Sleepless in Seattle," or does she stalk him? When Christian Slater floods a woman's apartment with flowers in "Bed of Roses," is he a dreamy distraction or a scary nightmare? These distinctions become important to Martha Alston (Ellen DeGeneres) a successful but lonely TV producer who finds herself wooed by a handsome, charming millionaire named Whitman Crawford (Bill Pullman)

Because the "Ellen" lesbian episode has taken months to show up on TV after its controversial topic first was revealed, Ellen DeGeneres has ended up having part of her thunder stolen - not only by herself (in magazine and TV interviews, including one tomorrow with Oprah Winfrey) but by two Fox comedy shows, "Mad TV" and "Married . . . With Children. " While tonight's too-long-awaited hourlong edition of "Ellen" is hilarious, well-performed and not at all exploitative, some of the punch lines will give viewers of these Fox shows a quick case of deja vu. That's because one of the "Ellen" punch lines involves Gertrude Stein, a literary lesbian reference that also worked its way into last weekend's "Mad TV. " The "Mad TV" skit presented a bogus "famous lost episode of 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show,' " in which Mary and Rhoda revealed they were lovers.

Jenna the generous? Picture this: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi tying the knot at the Bush ranch in Texas. Unlikely, right? Especially given President Bush's conservatism and the Texas constitutional ban on gay marriage. But there was Jenna Bush Hager, the president's daughter, saying during a taping of The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Thursday that Ellen and Portia could, indeed, borrow the ranch for their nups, reports People.com. And mom Laura Bush was right there by Jenna's side.

Boston boner claims a victim Think life in cartoons is a dreamy delight filled with warm and fuzzy buddies dying to play with you? Think again, kid. It's an unforgiving place where cartoons are made, shipped and marketed. Jim Samples learned that the hard way. The Cartoon Network chief has resigned following last week's Adult Swim marketing disaster in Boston. The marketing geniuses placed battery-powered, cartoon-adorned light boards all over Boston, creating a citywide bomb scare on Jan. 31. The disaster cost Cartoon Network's parent company, Turner Broadcasting, $2 mil in reparations, plus apologies.

Just short of 40 million viewers tuned into Sunday's 79th annual Academy Awards, according to Nielsen Media Research. The nearly four-hour awards show drew an average audience about a million people larger than the previous year, but far short of the 1998 Titanic-fueled Oscarcast, which was watched by 55 million viewers. "It felt really good," show host Ellen DeGeneres said on her daytime program Monday. "There was just an energy in that room you cannot describe. " DeGeneres did her daytime show live Monday and also appeared on Oprah Winfrey's show, recorded Monday morning.

While she didn't come right out and say that her "Ellen" character will declare herself a lesbian, Ellen DeGeneres did say late last week that she's "willing to take the risk. " She also said the character's sexuality, if it is dealt with, will be revealed this season. As reported earlier, the show's producers and DeGeneres are considering having Ellen Morgan declare she's a lesbian. DeGeneres, during a panel session at the Los Angeles Museum of Television and Radio, fielded several questions on the issue, according to a report in the Hollywood Reporter, a trade paper.

In the official television overlords' guide to hackneyed sayings, there is no reference to "If it ain't broke, don't fix it. " Ellen DeGeneres, the star of last season's surprise replacement hit "These Friends of Mine," has seen ABC change the cast, the setting and the name of her show. When the repeat episodes begin running on Aug. 2, the sitcom will be called "Ellen. " So why tamper with a program that consistently was one of the country's 10 most watched shows? "Well, that was what I used to think about Tide, because I thought it worked just fine on my clothes," DeGeneres said.

    Angelina Jolie is bringing grrrl power to Afghanistan. Brad Pitt 's partner has opened an all-girls elementary school in a village outside Kabul. She tells E! News she picked the area because of its population of refugees, people often deprived of social services. She says more than 200 girls have enrolled. Jolie will fund the school through sales of her Style of Jolie jewelry line. "Beyond enjoying the artistic satisfaction of designing these jewels, we are inspired by knowing our work is also serving the mutual goal of providing for children in need," Jolie tells E!