Ellen Degeneres

Last night's star-fortified telethon, Shelter From the Storm: A Concert for the Gulf Coast, turned out to be an efficient but awkward TV event. Even for a live production, it seemed markedly underrehearsed. But by any measure, Shelter From the Storm took care of business. Shown simultaneously on all six broadcast networks, PBS, and a number of cable outlets, the telethon boasted an elite cadre from song (Paul Simon, U2, Rod Stewart) and screen (Jack Nicholson, Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz)

"A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down," trilled Mary Poppins in 1964, back before there were any lesbians. In 2000, HBO uses naked movie stars and hot sex to make its lesbian movie palatable to a wide audience, or at least to one that includes a large voyeur contingent that might not be interested in the feelings, politics and concerns of gay women. Written and produced entirely by women, If These Walls Could Talk 2 premieres Sunday at 9 p.m. It has a strong roster of stars, even by HBO standards: Vanessa Redgrave, Sharon Stone, Ellen DeGeneres, Michelle Williams from Dawson's Creek, and Chloe Sevigny from Boys Don't Cry and other serious, offbeat indie flicks.

It's not over till the fat lady sings or until Adrianna Huffington - wife of Michael, who lost to incumbent Sen. Dianne Feinstein in the California race that cost him about 20 million bucks - gets even. According to People magazine, she hopes to produce and host "Beat the Press," a weekly half-hour program that will "expose the biases, bloopers, toupees and agendas of the most persistent class of pests to ever plague the Republic of America press. " Tattle believes that means the folks who were less than kind to the Huffingtons during the campaign.

AFTER THE CALIFORNIA Supreme Court ruled Thursday that "limiting the designation of marriage to a union 'between a man and a woman' is unconstitutional," the path was cleared for gay couples in California to marry legally as soon as early June. And one of the first couples to announce plans to take advantage of it was none other than Portia de Rossi of "Arrested Development" and talk-show maven Ellen DeGeneres. DeGeneres, recently referred to in The Advocate as "arguably pop culture's most popular lesbian," made the announcement on her show the day the decision came through that she was getting married to her girlfriend of four years, although the episode didn't air until yesterday.

Is she or isn't she? She sure isn't! Well, at least this week. Former Ellen DeGeneres flame Anne Heche is engaged to marry cameraman Coleman Laffoon, whom she met while filming a documentary about Ellen's return to standup comedy, according to ETonline.com. Heche, 32, and Laffoon haven't announced a wedding date, said her manager Lauren Lloyd, the New York Daily News reported. "But she's definitely getting married. " Heche was spotted last week perusing bridal gowns at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills, the paper reported.

JUST WHEN we were getting over the emotional trauma of Ellen DeGeneres losing her dog to some mean and nasty old animal-rescue service, she has to go and do something that makes us want to bite her ankle. Apparently, unlike many of her talk-show colleagues, Ellen has decided to thumb her nose at the Writers Guild strikers hitting the bricks outside her Burbank studio, has crossed the picket line and is taping her shows. And, according to Usmagazine.com, the East Coast branch of the union is ready to disrupt the shows and on-location skits she might have planned during her upcoming stay in the Big Apple on Nov. 19 and 20. Said the Guild: "We find it sad that Ellen spent an entire week crying and fighting for a dog that she gave away, yet she couldn't even stand by writers for more than one day - writers who have helped make her extremely successful.

Byko's birthday book Action star Chuck Norris chops 58; actress Shannon Tweed bares 41; newlywed Sharon Stone glamorizes 40. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, and especially damned big-time if you're a lesbian with a sitcom. That's what Ellen DeGeneres is learning the hard way. When the comedian of "Yep, I'm Gay" fame decided to come out on her self-titled ABC show, gay activists fretted publicly that DeGeneres wouldn't portray one of their own in a meaningful way. Now, Chastity Bono, celebrity spokeswoman for the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, is urging Ellen to stop being so gay, already.

A FEW THOUGHTS on Ellen DeGeneres bowing out of Fox's "American Idol," and the multiple reports, including one from the not-prone-to-speculation Associated Press, that Jennifer Lopez will replace the already departed Simon Cowell at the judges' table: _ Should J. Lo choose to continue Simon's tradition of wearing too-tight sweaters and T-shirts over his trademark jeans, I'm expecting to hear far fewer complaints about it. _ Fox, which smartly handled...

IT'S BEEN QUITE a week for gays: "The New Normal" was picked up by NBC; the "E! True Hollywood Story" for Joan and Melissa Rivers aired on Mother's Day; the president came out in favor of gay marriage; and Ellen DeGeneres was named the winner of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Ellen is being honored for her stand-up work, daytime show, activism and books. According to the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, in D.C., recipients of the Mark Twain Prize are "people who have had an impact on American society in ways similar to the distinguished 19th-century novelist and essayist Samuel Clemens.

Boston native Mark Wahlberg was one of many celebs incensed by Monday's bombing attack in Boston that left three dead and more than 170 injured. "It's horrible, man. It's [expletive] disgusting, man. I just - I'm very upset," Mark, 41, said Monday at the New York premiere of his pic Pain and Gain . Later, he told an Us Weekly reporter, "The world obviously needs to change. If you think about all the events over the last couple years, if we can't protect our innocent women and children, then we have a serious problem.