Forgiveness

L. Gregory Jones is professor of theology at Duke Divinity School, author of Embodying Forgiveness, and coauthor of Forgiving as We've Been Forgiven Five years ago, Charles Carl Roberts IV entered an Amish school in Nickel Mines, Pa., and shot 10 girls - mortally wounding five - before killing himself. This quiet, rural community in Lancaster County suddenly became a place of unprecedented contrasts - violence amid peaceful people, hordes of satellite trucks in a place that favors simplicity.

Students of Amish practice have said much recently about the stunning way in which the plain people incarnate the practice of forgiveness. As I watched that forgiveness in action, I wondered: Can a typcial Christian like me draw some meaning from this tragedy in ways that have everyday consequences? Can I learn from my brothers and sisters in Christ? If the Amish seem different, it is because in some ways, in their insularity and ascetic practice, they take the words of the New Testament more seriously than many of the vocal advocates for "family values" and cultural conservatism or liberal proponents of peace and social justice.

A crucified savior may have pleaded for it on behalf of his enemies, but not everybody has the power to overcome a grudge. Forgiveness is tough. "So many of the problems that people have when they come in for psychotherapy come out of real or imagined misdeeds that other people have committed against them," said Charles Zeiders, a psychologist and Christian counselor. On Saturday, Zeiders and colleagues Frances E. Schoeninger and Douglas Schoeninger will lead a daylong workshop designed to guide participants through the forgiveness process.

A few weeks ago, as the news pounded us with stories of vicious murders, I asked theologians, clergy, academics and others how our conscience gets formed. This was in the context of the killings of members of a judge's family in Chicago, a judge and others in an Atlanta courtroom, and 10 people, including the shooter, on the Red Lake Indian Reservation in Minnesota. This question seems to buzz around my head like a persistent horse fly: Is it possible to get beyond the reach of God's forgiveness?

Unique about the moral scandal in Washington is the confused, convoluted and often contradictory nature of the various religious voices we are hearing. Responses range from righteous indignation that seeks maximum retribution to an amnesia-laden support that can hardly imagine what all the fuss is about. The result is that the people in our pews are frustrated and perplexed. Our balanced Christian response must comprise three nonnegotiable points. The first is unreserved forgiveness.

"Forgiveness does not come without accountability. " - The Rev. William Shaw, pastor of White Rock Baptist Church "We don't have a ministry of condemnation. " - The Rev. E.V. Hill, National Baptist ethics chairman He went to the annual meeting in Denver this month asking members of the nation's largest black church to forgive him for "errors," to pardon him for "mistakes. " The Rev. Henry Lyons, beleaguered president of the National Baptist Convention, U.S.A., admitted holding a female aide's money and church funds in the same account.

Playwright Bryony Lavery's intention in Interact Theatre's current production, Frozen, was to show the healing nature of forgiveness; she was "horrified" to find, after watching a documentary about a series of British child murders, that the children's parents were "frozen" in their grief, unable to move on with their lives. And so she invented Catharine Slusar's Agnetha, a psychiatrist studying neurological similarities in serial killers, Jeb Kreager's pedophiliac murderer Ralph, and Mary Martello's Nancy, the mother of one of Ralph's young victims.

IT'S disturbing that columnist Ronnie Polaneczky can feel inclined to forgive Michael Jackson of the credible allegations of child molestation simply because he was a "brilliant" entertainer ("Is it possible . . . to appreciate the totality of who . . . Jackson was?" June 30). But Polaneczky claims she doesn't feel "a morsel" of sympathy for accused priests and refers to her frequent criticisms of the Philadelphia archdiocese in its handling of the priest abuse scandal. Polaneczky's reason for her sympathy for the late pop star is bunk and her duplicitous rationale smacks of anti-Catholic bias.

The beliefs of conservative Catholic Mel Gibson, who likes his Mass in Latin and is no fan of Vatican II reforms, are laid bare in a freelance article by Malibu neighbor Christopher Noxon in tomorrow's New York Times Magazine. The story includes a less-than-flattering portrayal of the actor's father, Hutton Gibson, 85, a fierce critic of the Vatican and author of the polemical book Is the Pope Catholic? Noxon is said to quote the elder Gibson as calling Vatican II "a Masonic plot backed by the Jews.

DEAR ABBY: I am 19 and having an affair with a married man twice my age, but I am an unwilling participant. You see, I grew up with "Jasmine," and over the years her family has become mine. I was going through a rough time, and when her family offered me a place to stay, I accepted. They treat me like one of their own, buy me presents - even introduce me as a daughter. However, after my birthday party, Jasmine's father came into my bedroom and took advantage of me. I was scared and didn't say anything.

DEAR ABBY: Several years ago you printed a poem about forgiveness in your column. I clipped the column and saved it, but over time I seem to have lost it. Could you please run this piece again? - Daniela in Toronto DEAR DANIELA: I'm glad to oblige. The poem you have requested, "Decide to Forgive," was written by the late Robert Muller, former assistant secretary-general of the United Nations. Now, with so much turmoil going on in the nation and in the world, its sentiments are particularly relevant: DECIDE TO FORGIVE Decide to forgive For resentment is negative Resentment is poisonous Resentment diminishes and devours the self.

THEY CARRIED banners, beat drums and shouted slogans. They snaked down Broad Street yesterday, from their dorms and dining halls to the Hyatt at the Bellevue, where Gov. Corbett keeps his local office. They were students from Temple University, Penn, Drexel and other schools, and they're mad as hell and aren't taking Corbett's budget cuts anymore. Hundreds participated, part of Occupy Education's National Day of Action rebellion against rising college tuition. "People everywhere need to realize that the quality of and access to education is diminishing," said Ethan Jury, a Temple senior and a coordinator of Philly's branch of the protest.

Who has the stomach for a scoop of Peachy Paterno now? That line was part of a Nov. 13 Inquirer commentary piece I wrote at the urging of my editors. They wanted my perspective as a Penn State alum (Class of '82) to the stunning disclosure that Joe Paterno's longtime trusted defensive coordinator, Jerry Sandusky, allegedly had been sexually abusing young boys for years. What had turned me off to JoePa - whose life-size cutout had long occupied a prominent place in my house - was that he had alerted his superiors, but not police, when he learned of at least one of the purported attacks.

Question: Approximately 10 years ago, my wife had an affair with our daughter's soccer coach. Of the nearly seven billion people on the planet, she was adamant that she had found her "soul mate. " Not only has she never really apologized for the affair, but I also had to beg her not to leave, primarily to keep our two kids close to their friends and extended family, as we could not afford our neighborhood in a divorce and would have had to move away. Both kids eventually graduated from great colleges, and grew up never knowing of their mother's affair.

2011 wasn't just about scandals, celebrity divorces, and dire economic news. It was also a year of personal breakthroughs: Life changes such as becoming a parent, quitting smoking, or moving away from home; experiences that radically change your life and make you look at the world differently. What was your breakthrough this year? Did you go through a career shift, a moment of forgiveness? Did you achieve a life goal? We'd like to hear about it. E-mail mbroussard @philly.com by Dec. 21 with the story of your breakthrough plus some thoughts on how you're going to maintain your success in 2012.

L. Gregory Jones is professor of theology at Duke Divinity School, author of Embodying Forgiveness, and coauthor of Forgiving as We've Been Forgiven Five years ago, Charles Carl Roberts IV entered an Amish school in Nickel Mines, Pa., and shot 10 girls - mortally wounding five - before killing himself. This quiet, rural community in Lancaster County suddenly became a place of unprecedented contrasts - violence amid peaceful people, hordes of satellite trucks in a place that favors simplicity.

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. - Leaders of Alabama's largest county chose Friday to settle with Wall Street over $3.1 billion in debt from a sewer system overhaul rather than go through with what would have been the largest municipal bankruptcy in U.S. history. Jefferson County Commissioners agreed in principle to the deal, but the state legislature must take action in a special session to complete the agreement, and commissioners said bankruptcy was still possible if that legislation doesn't go through.