Friendship

DEAR ABBY: My husband had an affair with the woman next door. We were close friends. I found out three months ago. We spent a lot of time with her. He swears the affair is over and wants us to become a close threesome again. She's divorcing her husband, who knows nothing about the affair. The three of us have hung out again, just like old times. My husband is thrilled; I am miserable. I am not convinced the affair is over. He says I'm being unreasonable and keeping him on a "short leash.

By Seymour I. "Spence" Toll On Friday at the U.S. Courthouse at Sixth and Market there was a memorial service for U.S. District Judge Louis H. Pollak, who died in Philadelphia on May 8 at the age of 89. A 1978 judicial appointee of President Jimmy Carter, he became one of the nation's genuinely distinguished jurists. Like his judicial service, Judge Pollak's qualification for the judiciary was exceptional. After graduating at the top of his 1948 Yale Law School class, in 1948-49 he clerked for Supreme Court Justice Wiley B. Rutledge, then joined a major New York law firm.

Q: I am a married man who has been great friends with a woman co-worker for six years. We play tennis together and have gone out everywhere a lot. However, the last three months she has become very distant. She will not even have lunch with me anymore. I'm so confused and frustrated. What should I do? Steve: Great friends share their news and feelings with each other. Maybe your friendship isn't as great as you think. Ask her what's going on in her life that's caused her to pull away, and accept her answer, whatever it may be. Mia: Steve's right.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing for advice on friendship. There is a person who insists we are "best friends. " She calls every day to gossip and get into people's business, including mine. We are grown women, and I find this childish. I am a loner. I don't like too many people in my space, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. I just want her to get a life. I'm married; she's single. We have nothing in common, in my opinion, and she tries to keep up with my every move. If I don't answer the phone at home, she calls me at work.

Question: How do you know it's time to end a marriage? I'm not at all attracted to my husband, the result, I think, of his preoccupation with work (even when he's home, he's usually thinking or talking about it, or on his phone or laptop) and just an overall lack of physical chemistry. We've never had a good intimate relationship - something we both acknowledge - and I've ached for something better almost the whole time we've been together. He says he's content. That said, we've got two young children, and for the most part, we are great co-parents, manage the household pretty well together, communicate well, and have a solid friendship.

Hello there Debbie and Georgee met at Philadelphia's Central High School, and Debbie was soon nursing a crush. "He was interesting to talk to, and it didn't hurt that he is really cute," Debbie said. Georgee found Debbie attractive, but thought of her as his best friend. Sure, everyone was always telling him that Debbie liked him. Everyone was always telling Debbie that he liked her. "Neither of us believed anyone," Georgee said. They chalked it up to their friends' pushing the two Indian Americans to get together.

DEAR ABBY: I have a son with two good friends. They are at my house often and are really good boys. I enjoy them, and I'm glad my son is friendly with them. The problem is their mothers. Both these women are receptive to playdate invites, but when I see them in social situations, they say very little to me and almost act as if they don't know me. Even when they pick up their kids, talking to them is awkward, and they give the impression they're always in a hurry. I think if your kids spend five hours at my house and I have fed them, I deserve a little face time at the very least.

DEAR ABBY: I am 39, married, and a professional woman with a good income. My best friend, "Barbie," and I both went to work after high school without completing our education. However, after several years I decided to go to college and get a degree so I could change careers. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. My income has more than doubled. Barbie is obviously jealous of my new life. She and her family barely make ends meet. I now feel as if I must walk on eggshells around her — guarding my conversation lest I mention a new purchase or having time off. If something does slip out, Barbie becomes defensive.

Jamil Miller's mother won't be there to see him when the aspiring cardiologist graduates from Camden's Dr. Charles E. Brimm Medical Arts High School second in his class on Wednesday. Instead, Miller will mail a DVD of the ceremony to the Edna Mahan Correctional Facility in Clinton, N.J. That's where his mother is serving a seven-year sentence for robbery. His father won't be present, either. He died in a car crash when Miller was 5. But Kevin Ruiz, his best friend since fourth grade, will be there, graduating with him. Ruiz, who says he intends to become mayor of Camden and has had more than his share of hard times, will listen with pride as Miller - "my boy" - gives his graduation address.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 28-year-old, newly single female who has never been happier. I've had a couple of long-term relationships that didn't turn out well, so my quiet, uncomplicated life is refreshing. All I'm looking for now is to make new friends and enjoy myself. A few guys have asked me for my phone number — usually through social networking — and have suggested getting together for a couple of drinks. As nice as that would be, the last thing I want to do is lead anyone on or give him the wrong impression.