Gabrielle Union

Tyler Perry creates his own movie universe. With films such as Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Daddy's Little Girls, his earnest parables wed uplift-of-the-downtrodden narratives with Harlequin Romance storytelling. If Perry were working in Germany or Spain and his pictures arrived here subtitled, he would be a critical darling, heralded as the next Fassbinder or Alm?dovar. Instead, he works in Atlanta and is an audience darling, maker of reliable crowd-pleasers in which greed is punished, virtue rewarded and really good-looking people kiss.

In the annals of Noel films so wincingly, gratingly, insultingly bad that a lump of coal would be vastly preferable, The Perfect Holiday ranks alongside Surviving Christmas for sheer unwatchability. Rarely have I worked so hard to suppress the gag reflex. How can a film with dreamy Morris Chestnut, darling Gabrielle Union and those human sparkplugs Queen Latifah and Terrence Howard backfire so badly? Let us count the ways: (1) Sappy script. Union plays Nancy, estranged wife of hip-hop huckster J-Jizzy (Charlie Murphy)

As his searing performance in Dreamgirls confirmed, Eddie Murphy has under-explored depths, tones and talents. That the man who can, apparently, do anything chose to do the deliberately offensive Norbit (a choice that lost him the Oscar so richly deserved for Dreamgirls ) is a mystery beyond solution. Less mysterious is his follow-up. In Meet Dave , family-friendly as a Fourth of July picnic, Murphy and Norbit director Brian Robbins redeem themselves with a performance and scenario that might have been developed for Steve Martin.

BREAKIN' ALL THE RULES. Relationship break-up specialist (Jamie Foxx) revises his theories when he meets Gabrielle Union. Union could be a star, but she needs a better script than this. (PG-13) C COFFEE AND CIGARETTES. But no laughs. Eleven vignettes from indie minimalist Jim Jarmusch are hit and miss, mostly miss. Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett. Not rated. C ENVY. Ben Stiller gets jealous when best friend Jack Black makes millions off goofy idea. Funny opening followed by solid hour of lameness.

As his searing performance in Dreamgirls confirmed, Eddie Murphy has under-explored depths, tones and talents. That the man who can, apparently, do anything chose to do the deliberately offensive Norbit (a choice that lost him the Oscar so richly deserved for Dreamgirls ) is a mystery beyond solution. Less mysterious is his follow-up. In Meet Dave , family-friendly as a Fourth of July picnic, Murphy and Norbit director Brian Robbins redeem themselves with a performance and scenario that might have been developed for Steve Martin.

In the annals of Noel films so wincingly, gratingly, insultingly bad that a lump of coal would be vastly preferable, The Perfect Holiday ranks alongside Surviving Christmas for sheer unwatchability. Rarely have I worked so hard to suppress the gag reflex. How can a film with dreamy Morris Chestnut, darling Gabrielle Union and those human sparkplugs Queen Latifah and Terrence Howard backfire so badly? Let us count the ways: (1) Sappy script. Union plays Nancy, estranged wife of hip-hop huckster J-Jizzy (Charlie Murphy)

Tyler Perry creates his own movie universe. With films such as Diary of a Mad Black Woman and Daddy's Little Girls, his earnest parables wed uplift-of-the-downtrodden narratives with Harlequin Romance storytelling. If Perry were working in Germany or Spain and his pictures arrived here subtitled, he would be a critical darling, heralded as the next Fassbinder or Alm?dovar. Instead, he works in Atlanta and is an audience darling, maker of reliable crowd-pleasers in which greed is punished, virtue rewarded and really good-looking people kiss.

BREAKIN' ALL THE RULES. Relationship break-up specialist (Jamie Foxx) revises his theories when he meets Gabrielle Union. Union could be a star, but she needs a better script than this. (PG-13) C COFFEE AND CIGARETTES. But no laughs. Eleven vignettes from indie minimalist Jim Jarmusch are hit and miss, mostly miss. Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett. Not rated. C ENVY. Ben Stiller gets jealous when best friend Jack Black makes millions off goofy idea. Funny opening followed by solid hour of lameness.