Galaxy

Miami Dolphins defensive tackle Fred Evans was arrested early Saturday after he refused to leave a taxi on South Beach and then fought with officers, police said. Police twice used a Taser gun on Evans, according to the arrest report, in attempts to subdue the 6-4, 305-pound player who appeared in one game as a rookie last season with the Dolphins. Officers said they asked Evans to leave the taxi and, after he refused, they attempted to put him in handcuffs. He allegedly resisted, leading to the scuffle.

Kasey Keller took one final lap of appreciation around Seattle's home field after the Sounders' 2-0 win over Real Salt Lake on Wednesday, clapping and giving thumbs up the entire way to the fans. The career of arguably American's most influential goalkeeper had ended with a victory that turned out to be a loss. Osvaldo Alonso and Lamar Neagle scored five minutes apart early in the second half, but Salt Lake advanced to the Western Conference final in the MLS Cup playoffs on aggregate goals by a 3-2 margin over Seattle.

Roy Lassiter had a goal and an assist as D.C. United snapped a three-game losing streak yesterday with a 2-1 victory over the New York/New Jersey MetroStars in a Major League Soccer game. The victory allowed United (4-3) to avoid its first four-game losing streak since it dropped the opening four games of the inaugural MLS season in 1996. The Washington team had not won since April 10. Lassiter's seventh goal of the year gave United a 1-0 lead in the sixth minute. Jaime Moreno, the trailer on a three-on-one break started by Lassiter, made it 2-0 in the 57th minute.

Carlos Ruiz' tone yesterday was of a player who realizes that his experience and skill needs to hold more weight than his words. Already an MLS legend with 82 goals to his credit during time in Los Angeles, Dallas and Toronto, the 31-year-old Ruiz landed in Philadelphia after a 3-year stint in South America, Mexico and Europe. He arrived via free transfer from Greek top-tier club Aris Thessaloniki on Feb. 22 amid scrutiny on whether he still had gas left in his goal-scoring tank, and if he learned to curb comments that previously had gotten him into hot water.

Hristo Stoitchkov scored in extra time yesterday as the Chicago Fire won its fourth straight game, beating the Colorado Rapids, 1-0. Chicago raised its record to 10-3-3. Colorado (4-9-5) saw its two-match winning streak snapped. Stoitchkov, a left-footed Bulgarian forward, scored on a 25-foot shot over Colorado goalkeeper Scott Garlick. Chicago goalkeeper Zach Thornton preserved the shutout by stopping a penalty kick in the final seconds. Wizards 3, Burn 2 KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Onandi Lowe scored on a header with a minute left, completing Kansas City's rally from a two-goal deficit to a victory over Dallas.

It's absolutely ludicrous. Incredibly silly. Absurdly stupid. Ineffably insane. Yes, folks, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is all this - and less. But once you accept that tongue is planted firmly in cheek, once you jettison any ideas about serious science fiction, you'll find that The Hitchhiker's Guide is also something else: Marvelous fun. A blast. If you like Monty Python-style British buffoonery and humor, this 12- episode BBC dramatization of the Douglas Adams cult fantasy is for you. The Hitchhiker's Guide (six hours, $29.95)

Do you toss and turn at night, trying to sleep after watching the evening news' litany of accidents, fires, robberies and shootings? Has angst perched itself on your shoulder? Maybe you need to find relief, something to ease your mind and relax your body. Find a comfy lawn chair or, even better, a chaise longue. Go out on a clear night, have a seat, and look up at the expanse of sky around you. There's a lot to see, it's quiet, and there are no commercials. You might even spot bright, shimmering Mars, which, as many people know by now, is virtually rubbing elbows with Earth on its closest pass in about 60,000 years.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, lived a strange people whose leader had a sex life that remained private. The inhabitants of this galaxy had absolutely no knowledge of their leader's sexual behavior. For all that the citizens knew, their leader may not have had genitals, so rarely did the subject come up. Amazingly, that faraway galaxy was our own not long ago - it only seems as distant as a "Star Wars" spaceport. The drama unfolding before us is more bizarre than science fiction, features more landmines than Rambo could negotiate, and outdoes Hitchcock in making audiences dread horrors-to-come.

The videocassette version of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy begins with a computer readout saying: TIME 06:30. A second readout then flicks onto the screen: DESTRUCTION OF EARTH DUE: 11:46:00. Finally: TIME TO ELAPSE BEFORE END OF THE WORLD 05:16:48 - and counting. And you watch the sun rise on planet Earth - for the last time. Meanwhile, earthling Arthur Dent (Simon Jones) arises, puts on the bathrobe he will wear during the Guide's six episodes, and goes outside to warn the man in charge of a bulldozer not to knock Arthur's home down so they can build a bypass.

"Next best things" come and go. Britain's Test Icicles came. They played an acid-fried Blood Brothers-meets-Bloc Party brand of danz-punk and went, leaving guitarist Devonte Hynes to go and become his own next best thing: Lightspeed Champion. Only Champion doesn't fry with feedback on his softly strung, gorgeously melodic debut, Falling Off the Lavender Bridge. Unless you consider its tortured lyrics - then he's frazzled. But even those saddest and snarkiest of stories seemed chipper in the light of Lightspeed's hauntingly melodious tunes during Friday's free show at World Caf? Live's Upstairs.