Gay Community

Shelly Komito had been married for 23 years and had had two children before she openly acknowledged that she was gay. That was 1995, and one of the first things she did, she said yesterday, was to call Congregation Beth Ahavah in Old City - a Reform congregation serving gays, lesbians and bisexuals from Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Delaware. "I told them my story," said Komito, 49, of that day five years ago. "And I asked if they could have some of their members call me. And they did. . . . And looking back on it now, I don't know what I would have done without their support.

I HAVE NEGLECTED gay culture for months. Most of the music tapes in my car are by straight performers. I gave up on Virginia Woolf's "Mrs. Dalloway" in frustration and am reading a book with a straight woman as the main character, although she does have a lesbian mom. So I feel somewhat guilty that the Oscar Wilde Bookshop in New York, the nation's oldest gay bookstore, is about to shut its doors. Not personally responsible, of course, since I don't live in New York, but I can't remember the last time I spent money in Philadelphia's counterpart, Giovanni's Room.

THE RELIGIOUS right is going after TV cartoons, for crying out loud, and can't Lynne Cheney just say what she truly thinks? These two thoughts fill my mind these days as the gay community becomes a target in some new, interesting ways. First, James Dobson, the leader of the myopic Focus on the Family, criticizes a video promoting tolerance in schools that features, among others, Spongebob SquarePants and Winnie the Pooh. No, he didn't imply that either was gay; he merely said they must not be allowed to use their considerable influence to say gay is OK. Then, U.S. Education Secretary Margaret Spellings denounces PBS for spending good tax dollars on a program featuring another animated character - Buster the bunny - that depicts a lesbian couple during Buster's visit to Vermont to learn about maple syrup.

My friend Bill, rest his soul, was pretty traditional when it came to the British monarchy. He had a strong regard for the royal family and admired the pomp and circumstance surrounding the Windsors. But I suspect he admired Princess Diana not only because she brought charm and glamour to the monarchy, but because she worked to fight AIDS, which eventually counted him among its victims. It has not been lost on the gay community that Diana - in life and in death - was a great friend of ours.

You know, I was just thinking: When is the last time I got together with a million or so of my closest friends? It was in 1993, when people from across the gay spectrum gathered in Washington and turned the nation's capital into a gay capital. It was exhilarating, empowering and enriching to be together with so many people who were out - or came out - for one thing: seeking our full civil rights. With a major increase in gay visibility and key victories in workplace, family and other arenas since the march, it's been a whirlwind five years - we're not in Kansas anymore.

They called him Mother. Members of New Hope's gay community revered feisty drag queen Joseph Cavellucci, 74, for nurturing gay pride since the day he arrived in town in 1949, looking for work as a female impersonator. Mother Joseph "Josie" Cavellucci, famous for strutting the streets with a pocketbook and stiletto heels, died Tuesday in a Bucks County nursing home after a long struggle with cancer. He leaves a legacy as a gay icon - a man whose sassy attitude defied sexual stereotypes long before any laws were enacted to protect against sexual discrimination.

The Vatican this week issued a provocative new lexicon that explains official Roman Catholic teaching on sex, marriage, abortion, AIDS and related topics. But just a day after the release, gay groups were calling the 900-page glossary "vicious" and "irresponsible. " Among other things, the Lexicon on Ambiguous and Colloquial Terms about Family Life and Ethical Questions asserts that homosexuality is "without any social value," and that legislation permitting gay marriage is the product of "deeply disordered minds.

It could have been the jilted lover who left threatening messages on the answering machine and shouted angry words in public. It could have been a trusted friend, someone he allowed into his apartment, someone he knew for months, or years. Or, the murderer who bound and strangled Keith Matthews may have been a one-night stand, a violent end to a night of drinking and revelry among friends. On Feb. 25, Matthews, 32, was found strangled and gagged in his Washington Avenue apartment near 7th Street.

Brian Sims, a 33-year-old lawyer, appears to have defeated Center City's longtime representative in the state House, setting himself up to become the first openly-gay state lawmaker in Pennsylvania. Sims held a 233-vote lead over his fellow Democratic opponent Babette Josephs, with 51.6 percent of the vote, according to unofficial returns. Returns from seven voting divisions in the 182d District were still described as incomplete, but Philadelphia election officials said Wednesday that this was likely the result of blank cartridges from voting machines that were not used on primary day. The election results in the Sims-Josephs race are unlikely to change, they said.

I'm an executive in the fashion world, where bags are either Hermes or Gucci. But when I was in college 36 years ago, bag was slang for the things that a person was "into. " It may have been music or modeling, bricklaying or baking, warrior or hippie, straight or gay. The latter was a really heavy bag to carry in those days. It still can be today, but I'm happy that in my enlightened community of New Hope, the word bag has far different connotations for gays and lesbians. This fall the borough is proudly presenting Somewhere Over the Rainbow: New Hope, Pa., Celebrates!

Was it a proud revelation, or an impassioned case for privacy? A coming-out speech, or a why- should -I-come-out speech? Too little and too late, or just enough? Jodie Foster's rambling, fascinating, and intensely personal remarks at the Golden Globes were not merely the watercooler moment of the ceremony. They were a big moment for the gay community, and many advocates - though not all - were cheering her on Monday for finally referring publicly to her sexual orientation, albeit in her own particular way. While some were criticizing the actress for not uttering the words gay or lesbian , and for waiting decades to come out at all, others were saying she deserved to come out in any way she chose, and with any words she happened to favor.

Mel Heifetz is the kind of mogul who'd rather load up on supplies at Lowe's, climb a ladder, and tighten a pipe in one of his Center City apartments than yank a tie around his neck and host a fund-raiser for a politician. He's not, in other words, a bold-faced name on the list of the usual suspects. Yet Heifetz, a gay man, wrote a $1 million check toward reelecting President Obama this year, largely because of the president's support of gay rights. The gift landed Heifetz third on a list of top Pennsylvania campaign political donors - ending his cover as a low-profile Philadelphia real estate investor with a history of philanthropy focused on gay causes.

ALTHOUGH HE has fought for gay rights for more than 40 years, Mark Segal said gay seniors still face discrimination when looking for housing. "I met a woman who came to me crying because she was being barred from visiting her partner of 30 years," said Segal, publisher of the Philadelphia Gay News . "Imagine to have to fight to see someone. And this was in a private apartment. " Segal told of a gay man who lives in a senior-housing development where every time he went into one of the common areas, "people would come and pray around them, trying to pray them out of their gayness.

Philadelphia police are searching for information on the death of a 27-year-old transgender woman found shot in the head in the Northeast last week. The victim, known to friends as Kyra Kruz, was well-known in the city's gay community, said Gloria Casarez, director of the city's Office of LGBT Affairs. "She was a visible, friendly presence," Casarez said. "This has been surprising and upsetting to all of us. " Police found Kruz's body about 5 a.m. Sept. 3 in a wooded area off the 1100 block of Adams Avenue, in the city's Frankford section.

MUSIC Doobie or not Doobie It only seems like Chicago and the Doobie Brothers were responsible for about two-thirds of all of the hits of the 1970s, which makes Saturday's double-bill a must for fans of the pop music of that decade. While both bands continue to be road warriors, this year's tour is a special one for the Doobies, whose breakthrough (second) album, "Toulouse Street" (which included "Listen To the Music," "Rockin' Down the Highway" and "Jesus Is Just Alright")

KIEV, Ukraine - Homophobic sentiment and violence against Ukraine's gay community are on the rise, despite increasing efforts to promote tolerance in the conservative ex-Communist nation, advocacy groups said Wednesday. The community was forced to cancel its first gay pride parade in the capital, Kiev, in May due to concerns that activists would be physically attacked by radical groups. After the cancellation, two gay leaders were violently beaten. Oleksandr Zinchenkov, head of the Our World gay-rights advocacy group, told a news conference Wednesday that Ukrainians have been increasingly hostile toward gays and lesbians in recent months.

Bruce Wayne Campbell and Jonathan Leitham both grew up in King of Prussia. They were both musicians. They both attended Upper Merion High School, albeit decades apart. They both became renowned in their fields, ending with very different results. Bruce Wayne Campbell redubbed himself Jobriath, a Bowie-esque glam singer and the first openly gay rock star who was touted as "rock's truest fairy. " Jonathan Leitham, after a successful career as a jazz bassist, transitioned to become Jennifer Leitham . Since her transition, Jennifer hasn't been invited back to play the same major stages and festivals she was once a regular fixture on. She could not be happier.

Let's suppose I wrote a column claiming that human intelligence was fixed and immutable, so we should accept individual cognitive differences instead of trying to change them. I'd be flayed alive, especially by my fellow liberals. Now let's imagine another column, where I made the same statement about sexual orientation: It's set at birth, and nothing can alter it. Most of my liberal friends would nod approvingly. Why do we regard one trait as changeable, while the other one is supposedly cast in stone?

Brian Sims, a 33-year-old lawyer, appears to have defeated Center City's longtime representative in the state House, setting himself up to become the first openly-gay state lawmaker in Pennsylvania. Sims held a 233-vote lead over his fellow Democratic opponent Babette Josephs, with 51.6 percent of the vote, according to unofficial returns. Returns from seven voting divisions in the 182d District were still described as incomplete, but Philadelphia election officials said Wednesday that this was likely the result of blank cartridges from voting machines that were not used on primary day. The election results in the Sims-Josephs race are unlikely to change, they said.