Guest Host

Frank Zappa, the rock-star icon from the '60s, tonight begins a three-day stint as guest host of cable's Financial News Network. His forum: FNN's Focus series. But the topics won't be the state of rock, his 25 years of innovation and playful experiments in music, or any kind of music at all. They are, however, in the Zappa tradition: eclectic. Tonight's show looks at U.S. business opportunities in the Soviet Union. He taped segments during a January trip to Moscow, Paris and Czechoslovakia, where he met that country's new president, Vaclav Havel.

Personalities from WIP Radio will serve as guest hosts of "Daily News Live" on Comcast SportsNet beginning Tuesday. "Daily News Live" airs weeknights at 5 p.m. with sports writers from the Daily News. Here is the schedule: Tuesday: Rhea Hughes Wednesday: Al Morganti Thursday: Rob Ellis Friday: Glen Macnow Monday, July 11: Anthony Gargano Tuesday, July 12: Angelo Cataldi Wednesday, July 13: Rhea Hughes Also, CSN has compiled the stories of five high school stars who appeared on "Daily News Live" in May into a half-hour special called "High School Hot Shots.

The mercury may be falling but, as far as CBS is concerned, it's bathing suit time. Time for the Miss U.S.A. pageant, that is. The pageant, to be televised live on Feb. 17 from 9-11 p.m. on Channel 10, has been moved from May until the more-important ratings month of February. This year, Bob Barker and Mary Frann will be hosting from White Sands, N.M. MAGIC MEMORIES If asked, Mike Bowe might not have picked such a revealing way to celebrate his 10th anniversary on WMGK-FM 103. But, hey, nobody asked him. His wife, Deborah, supplied MGK with some of Mike's early bloopers and audition tapes that will be aired throughout today.

SENESCENCE You know you're getting old when not only are the bands on "Saturday Night Live" unknown to you, you have no idea who the guest host is. - Ron Avery. FIRST ROUND LAST ROUND Howard Eskin reported prematurely that Charles Barkley's knee miseries could keep him out of the opening round of the playoffs. Considering their impotence in his absence, it probably would have been the Sixers' closing round. - dh. TRAFFIC OBSERVATION The most important member of any road crew is the person who decides where to put the flashing arrow so as to create the biggest possible traffic tangle.

You can come back down off the window ledge now. Supermodel Christy Turlington is NOT hanging up her catwalking heels for sensible school shoes. The reports of Turlington's retirement were just vicious rumors, according to columnist Liz Smith. Although Turlington is in her sophomore year as an NYU liberal arts major, Smith says she will have time to keep up with the fashion shows and photo shoots. After all, Smith notes, Turlington now is shilling Eternity and Maybelline products in ads, and is on the cover of this month's Marie Claire magazine.

She didn't lick her chops on camera - at least, not literally. But Gov. Whitman, sitting in last night as guest host on CNN's Larry King Live, did the next best thing as she savored the sweetness of turning the tables on the press: She unflinchingly went straight to a commercial break when potential problems arose. When Lesley Stahl of CBS' 60 Minutes sympathized with Whitman over the difficulties in getting television air time - especially, Stahl said innocently, because New Jersey has no television station of its own - Whitman quickly corrected her. "Oh, we do," the governor said, then deftly signaled for a break.

Tonight is a rather lame one for TV viewing, but there are a couple of worthwhile options: CBS's broadcast of Blade Runner, and a member of the first family as host of NBC's Saturday Night Live. EVENING HIGHLIGHTS SSSSSSS (8 p.m., Ch. 17) - This 1973 horror movie stars Dirk Benedict, now of The A-Team, in a ridiculous plot about a scientist (Strother Martin) who can change people into snakes. Ssssssstupid. BLADE RUNNER (9 p.m., Ch. 10) - Harrison Ford was a star before this 1982 sci-fi thriller was released, Rutger Hauer earned great reviews, and Daryl Hannah has made a big Splash since, but three other performers in this well- made movie have become more familiar in the intervening years.

One of the better call-in "psychological talk" shows on radio is hosted by a sensitive pyschologist named Dan Gottlieb. He presides over "Family Matters," heard Monday nights at 7 on WHYY (FM/ 91). Tonight's guest is Peter Goodman, a social worker who talks with Gottlieb about problems of children and family life. Although it's a call-in show, don't try to reach Gottlieb tonight. The show is a repeat of one aired last Thursday on WHYY. Steve Sohmer, author of a first novel called "Favorite Son," talks to guest host Jim Bohannon on the Larry King show tonight at 11 on WIP (AM/610)

Allen Funt was one of TV's true visionaries. He realized how flustered we all get when the rules are suddenly changed without warning. And how funny we look when we're the only one not in on the joke. Simple, universal, hilarious. Candid Camera used hidden lenses to capture that priceless reaction and the show ran - forever. In 2003, Ashton Kutcher was savvy enough to adapt Funt's concept for our modern tabloid era, when celebrities have been deified. The result, MTV's Punk'd, made well-known young performers the hapless victims of elaborately arranged pranks and videotaped the results.

Personalities from WIP Radio will serve as guest hosts of "Daily News Live" on Comcast SportsNet beginning Tuesday. "Daily News Live" airs weeknights at 5 p.m. with sports writers from the Daily News. Here is the schedule: Tuesday: Rhea Hughes Wednesday: Al Morganti Thursday: Rob Ellis Friday: Glen Macnow Monday, July 11: Anthony Gargano Tuesday, July 12: Angelo Cataldi Wednesday, July 13: Rhea Hughes Also, CSN has compiled the stories of five high school stars who appeared on "Daily News Live" in May into a half-hour special called "High School Hot Shots.

It was a rough opening night Saturday for Charlie Sheen's vaunted "My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option" tour. The volatile actor was all but egged by the crowd at Detroit's Fox Theatre. The standing ovation that greeted him turned to boos and chants of "refund" from the audience, many of whom walked out before the 70-minute show ended abruptly. After the first heckler, Sheen responded, "I've already got your money, dude. " That did not sit well with the crowd.

Gospel, R&B, and a mix of African and Caribbean cultures will provide the sounds floating from the Gallery at Market East this weekend during the 19th annual Pathmark Multicultural Arts Festival. The festival, which begins at noon both Saturday and Sunday, explores cultures through various song and dance performances. Singer-songwriter and radio personality Diane Brown, who was recently honored with the Philadelphia Image Award at the African American Museum, will emcee the festival.

Cos puts cause on record Move over, Dr. Dre; Dr. Huxtable is the next big-name rap producer. Bill Cosby will release Cosby Narratives Vol. 1: State of Emergency next month with Bill "Spaceman" Patterson. The motivational CD is a backlash against rap The Cos sees as "profanity for no particular reason, the misogyny for no particular reason. " All vocals, unfortunately, are provided by guest rappers, and the famous dad does not rock the mike. "People started speculating, is he going to rap about Jell-O Pudding Pops or what?"

BRUCE Springsteen said there are "57 channels and nothing's on. " Most of us agree about the dearth of quality TV, and we largely blame programmers for the sorry state of what's available, despite all the choice. Well, I'm changing my opinion. Last week, I had an experience that left me believing that, like everything else, TV content is market-driven. If you think what you watch is garbage, that's because there's quite a market for garbage. I'm a radio guy. In the business, we get quarterly ratings.

NBC's Saturday Night Live has harked back to its rebel roots by booking Sen. John McCain as guest host on the Oct. 12 show. The former presidential candidate, prisoner of war, Arizona senator, and thorn in the side of President Bush said he agreed to be a guest because his children love the show. McCain said it's the first time he has impressed his 17-year-old daughter since she became a teenager. McCain's children aren't the only young people the senator hopes to reach by appearing on the live sketch comedy show.

She's perky. She's pretty. She can banter with her cohost as if she'd earned a Ph.D. in Reege. Best of all, Kelly Ripa, the 30-year-old soap star who made her debut yesterday as Regis Philbin's cohost on the renamed Live with Regis and Kelly is One of Us. Ripa grew up in Berlin, N.J., the daughter of Joseph, a bus driver, and Esther, a homemaker. (Her dad now heads Local 880 of the Amalgamated Transit Union, which represents drivers throughout South Jersey.) She went to Eastern Regional High School in Voorhees and, briefly, Camden County College, before moving to New York in 1990 to join the cast of the popular soap opera All My Children.

The year 2000 may have been one of the strangest years in the history of planetary life, but the relentlessly goofy things people insisted on saying made it all bearable. Now that 2000 has faded away - eyes down, embarrassed at its knuckleheaded performance - let's remind ourselves of some of these great quotes. And if George W. Bush is the runaway winner here, well, don't blame it on partisantoriness. "Popularity is history's pocket change. Courage is history's true currency. " - Charlton Heston, an actor for whom obscure metaphor is popularity's historical pocket currency.