Hoagie

SO THE Chain Gang breaks the bank on its Big Italian extravaganza two weeks ago and within a week the company announces it needs to sell the building. Coincidence? We're not taking any chances. We're eating hoagies. And we're going to Slack's Hoagie Shack. Actually we're going right by Slack's Hoagie Shack, twice driving by the strip mall location at 2499 Aramingo Ave. Calling two hours ahead, we go pick up 12 sandwiches and three salads (yes, Gangsters ordered salads)

When I turned on the television and the picture quality was so poor that Lawrence Welk looked like Pamela Anderson, I told myself that things would eventually get better. When my children couldn't see "Mama's Family" through blizzardlike screen interference, I convinced them to turn it off and watch Solomon's Family instead. When my wife, LaVeta, said that she considered public television stations to be premium channels, I knew she was putting a happy face on our sad situation.

The Wyncote Mini Deli in Ogontz offered customers more than the standard hoagie and chips: For an extra $25, police said, you could buy a bag of marijuana to go with your meal. But you had to know the code: Simply add a child-sized, barrel-shaped container of Hug juice to your groceries and another $25 to your payment. "You had to do it at the same time," said Philadelphia Police Capt. Chris Werner Narcotics Field Unit II. And his officers did, he said. Time and time again.

What it is: Merion Square Gourmet Foods, Gladwyne. What we like about it: For hungry diners looking for takeout variety, Merion Square Gourmet Foods offers a wealth of choices with its hot and cold buffet menu and sandwiches. Menu items are made fresh by owners James and Kun Ji, who opened the takeout-only restaurant 11 years ago after moving from South Korea in 1989. Daughter Debbie Choi is the manager. The salad bar and hot buffet are open for business from 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Monday through Friday.

What it is: The Bensalem shop bakes its bread on the premises daily and serves specials from Sicilian 16-inch, deep-dish pizza to the Woodhaven hoagie. The restaurant's theme is Philly sports, and the walls of the dining area and takeout counter are decorated with team shirts and photos. What we like: Champs' soft pizza dough is the perfect resting place for cheese, sauce and a range of toppings, including plum tomatoes and spinach. Combo pizzas include Boardwalk Sausage featuring sausage, peppers and onions, and the Honey BBQ Chicken and Pineapple Pizza, each $9 for a 12-inch pie. Among sandwich offerings are the Woodhaven hoagie featuring turkey, ham and cheese ($3.73 for a mini, $5.95 for a half, and $11.90 for a whole)

What it is: Frosty Falls, an ice cream and sandwich shop in Bridgeport. What we like about it: Located in a two-story Victorian-style building with outdoor tables and benches overlooking the river, this is a friendly spot to cool down and relax on a hot summer day. The family-owned business features up to 14 flavors of made-on-the- premises water ice, including Cry Baby, a sour red-raspberry treat. There are also 15 flavors of hard ice cream, from the old-fashioned vanilla to the unusual Phillies Grand Slam, a sweet-tooth favorite of graham-cracker- flavored ice cream with chocolate candies.

What it is: Schade's Little Store in Doylestown Borough. What we like: Its history. At least four such stores in the borough "existed from around the turn of the century," said Larry Schade, who bought this last one in 1988. "This wasn't a franchise. All independently owned. " Schade's is still a grocery, but it has survived primarily as a takeout deli. "At night, it turns into more an ice cream parlor and a candy store," Schade said. For visitors to Fonthill, Henry Mercer's historical concrete castle on Court Street at Route 313, the store is a short walk away, down Court Street.

What it is: The Hoagie Works in Doylestown Borough. What we like about it: It's summertime, so it's muscle-shirt time again for Fred Carfagno. The owner of the Hoagie Works is the principal attraction at the State Street salad-and-sandwich shop - a one-block walk down one of the town's many alleys for those who work at the Bucks County Courthouse. Fred seems to know most customers ("What'll it be today, Judge?"), and while you wait for your takeout, it's free theater to watch him turn on the charm for the girls and the women.

Go to Center City for glamour food and hot trends, but head to South Philadelphia for a taste of the city's soul and tradition, and the strongest pulse on its diverse ethnic flavors. It is one of the most vast and dynamic eating destinations in town, sprouting new Asian and Mexican eateries every year, not to mention a healthy dose of gastropubs, hip bistros, and cool breakfast hangouts for its budding crop of resident yuppies. But people usually think Italian when you mention South Philly, and it's for good reason.

Newton's on State Street defies expectations. Its storefront location in Kennett Square has been home to several eateries over the years. And judging from looks alone, you might expect to find the usual bar/restaurant parallel universes here and a menu designed to span both. At Newton's, the food nicely mixes the gourmet with the pub grub (gourrub?), catering to serious diners and lazy diners. On a recent visit to this unpretentious eatery, my table fell into the latter camp.