Hot Dogs

"Winter Madness," proclaimed the Internet ad. "Look at this offer," I said to my husband. "We can fly to Iceland and stay four nights for less than we would pay for a weekend in New York City. " "Book it," Doug said. So I did. Three weeks later, we were on our way to a totally unfamiliar country. I knew that the capital city, Reykjavik, had an all-night bar scene, but we rarely stay up through the news at 11. I was more than a little uncomfortable "winging it" in a cold, rocky land where the names of the towns contained strange symbols and at least six syllables.

It was early April when Steve Bodner parked his shiny silver hot dog cart with its orange-and-blue umbrella in the heart of Haddonfield's historic district. He had the hot dogs, buns and mustard. And a state vendor's license. But Haddonfield officials didn't see just a hot dog wagon. They saw a threat to the Haddonfield way of life. State license or no state license, they want Bodner gone. "When one comes in, five come in - the next thing you know Kings Highway is packed with vendors selling jewelry, felt paintings, vegetables," Mayor John J. Tarditi Jr. said.

MARK SANCHEZ is working to atone for his brutal transgression in Oakland last weekend. The Jets' rookie quarterback was caught on camera trying to put mustard on a hot dog and, get this, eat it, late in New York's 38-0 blowout of the Raiders. He apologized after the game, saying he didn't feel well and needed to eat something. Sanchez added that "it won't happen again. " Sanchez is trying to make up for it, though. He bought 500 hot dogs and 500 hamburgers, along with buns and rolls, and donated them to the Community Soup Kitchen of Morristown, N.J. Coach Rex Ryan said he was "disappointed" with Sanchez and his hot dog eating ways, but said the quarterback didn't mean to be disrespectful.

If you're one of the millions of people planning to travel by air this summer, here's some important information from the Association of Commercial Airlines: (Silence). UH-oh! Apparently the airlines are unable to give us any information at this time! Probably they are experiencing thunderstorms. No institution experiences as many thunderstorms as an airline. Huge, violent clouds surround airline employees at all times. They cannot hold company picnics because the death toll from lightning would be in the hundreds.

John Madden calls it "puffing up. " Others call it showboating or hot- dogging. To many people, the excessive celebrations by pro and college football players are infuriating. The worst "celebrations" are players taunting an opponent after he has been tackled. The latest entry in the "worst" category occurs when a player scores a touchdown, then takes off his helmet and opens his arms to the crowd in an "I'm the greatest" gesture. I had planned to write about television's effect on these celebrations when, lo and behold, the subject came up in conference calls this week with the commentators on Sunday's NFC and AFC championship telecasts.

I am a potato chip junkie. I have savored them since childhood, when my older sister taught me how to tuck them inside my salami sandwich. I love potato chips so much they are banned from the house because "I can't eat just one. " However, these deliciously deep-fried salty snacks make long-awaited special appearances at parties and barbecues. Since Labor Day marks the traditional end of the cookout season, I'm going to break down and buy big bags of chips. I recently stood in the aisle of my supermarket and was dazzled by the vast array of potato chips.

The special canines SEPTA brought over from Holland in September to patrol the Market-Frankford and Broad Street subway lines are now official police dogs - yesterday they received their silver badges complete with the official state seal and individual ID numbers.

The possibilities of the classic American burger having been if not exhausted, certainly exhaustively explored (I give you the excessive foie gras-laden Whiskey King eight-ouncer, adorned with maple bourbon glazed cipollini, Rogue bleu cheese, and applewood bacon now playing at Village Whiskey, priced at $24), it should not be all that startling that the town's trendier kitchens would eventually reach down a link on the food chain and grab hold of the hot dog - the innocent, unaffected Eliza Doolittle of our street foods.

Whether you are people-watching at a South Street sidewalk cafe, lounging under a beach umbrella in Atlantic City, or buying water ice or hot dogs from a Philadelphia street vendor, you can thank S. Frankford & Sons Inc. for the pool of shade that takes the edge off a sweltering summer day. The venerable and scrappy Philadelphia company supplies table umbrellas to John's 606 Bar & Grill, at Third and South Streets; beach umbrellas to the Showboat...

Every summer, Americans scarf down more than 5 billion hot dogs - enough wieners to circle the Earth about 15 times. Good news for meat marketers, no doubt, who have declared July "Hot Dog Month" to encourage mass consumption of processed pig parts. But really, if you toss one on the grill, what are you thinking? Every third-grade boy knows what nasty things lurk in hot dogs - from ears to eyelids - and delights in sharing this information with his more squeamish friends. In Hog Farm magazine, a U.S. Department of Agriculture official confirmed that "hot dogs contain skeletal muscles, along with parts of pork stomach, snout, intestines, spleens, edible fat, and yes, lips.