May 14, 2005 |
How many Idiots does it take to write a guide for Dummies? I asked myself that question this week when I received notice of the latest: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Smoothies. Is no subject too trivial? I understand the need for a Complete Idiot's Guide to Calculus. Intermediate French, Fibromyalgia, Middle East Conflict - these are all topics that leave me feeling like an idiot anyway, so I'm up for a guide. Sign Language, Body Language, Kickboxing. I can even accept that someone out there needs The Complete Idiot's Guide to Elves and Fairies.
May 4, 2005 |
Dale Earnhardt Jr. called Jimmie Johnson an "idiot," and blamed the Nextel Cup series points leader for causing a 25-car accident at Talladega Superspeedway. "If there was one idiot out there it was him," Earnhardt said during a break yesterday in a test session at Lowe's Motor Speedway in Concord, N.C. "To be honest about it, I think Jimmie Johnson caused about all the wrecks out there. " Both Earnhardt and Johnson were at the center of the massive accident in Sunday's race that wiped out half the field and ranked as the second-largest melee in track history.
April 28, 2005 |
A day after Boston pitcher Curt Schilling used the word "idiot" in criticizing Lou Piniella, the Tampa Bay manager held a team meeting and fired back. The Red Sox and Devil Rays tangled Sunday, with two-bench clearing scuffles and six ejections. The teams have had trouble in the past, too. "The problem is when you're playing a team with a manager who somehow forgot how the game is played, there's problems," Schilling said on a Boston radio station Tuesday. "This should have been over a little bit ago. Lou's trying to make his team be a bunch of tough guys, and the telling sign is when the players on that team are saying, 'This is why we lose 100 games a year, because this idiot makes us do stuff like this.
February 6, 2005 |
From iPods to illegal downloading, CD burning to MTV, the album is under siege. People don't play discs from start to finish the way they used to - they use computers to grab the songs they want, and reorder them however they like. And yet, when the Grammy Awards are held in Los Angeles next Sunday, the highest honor and the last of the 107 trophies given out will be album of the year. That prize remains the equivalent of winning an Oscar for best picture. This year, two of the albums up for the most prestigious prize are starkly contrasting success stories.
November 4, 2004 |
SIGH. I REALLY didn't want to have to write this. George W. Bush has been re-elected. Yeah, the lawyers will haggle about Ohio. But this time, Democrats don't have the popular vote on their side. Bush does. If you're a Bush supporter, this is no surprise. You love him, so why shouldn't everybody else? But if you're dissatisfied with him - or, like me, you think he's been the worst president in memory - you have a lot of explaining to do. Why don't a majority of voters agree with us?
May 25, 2004 |
Perhaps this year's "American Idol" winner should be accompanied by an asterisk in pop culture's history books: Idiot voters. When La Toya London and gospel belter Jennifer Hudson were voted out early, fans reacted with shock and outrage. Some accused both the voting system, with its insufficient number of phone lines, and its users of racism. When John Stevens survived weeks of subpar performances, it was chalked up to love-struck girls, who have more time to kill to dial than more sensible viewers.
January 14, 2003 |
V.I. Lenin, the founding dictator of the Soviet Union, had a pithy phrase for the Western liberals who took the side of the Soviets in political debates. He called them "useful idiots. " Today we have a new and improved version of useful idiots; we call them "human shields. " These are the citizens of the United States and Europe who deliberately put themselves between the U.S. military and Saddam Hussein - or Slobodan Milosevic -in order to stop America from its "war of aggression.
May 12, 2002 |
The world has gone Mad. Little could the late William Gaines have known 50 years ago, when he published the first 10-cent Mad comic book, that he'd created a monster - and we're not talking Alfred E. Neuman. We're talking about a publication that would redefine modern American satire. Three years later, in 1955, Mad had morphed into a "slick" - a magazine with a subtitle ("Humor in a Jugular Vein"), a little cameo portrait atop the cover of an unnamed boy with a dumb grin and gapped teeth and big ears and his own slogan (need we say "What - Me Worry?"
May 12, 2000 |
Pat Croce wants to do more than merely rescind ticket privileges for anyone who is found guilty of throwing debris on the First Union Center court Wednesday night. The 76ers' president wants to do more than simply have those people prosecuted. "I wanted to kill someone," Croce said. "I was angered, and I wanted to kill someone. I'm still angry. I'd like to get these individuals before the police get 'em, because it puts a taint on us. " During the final seconds of the Sixers' 97-89 loss to the Indiana Pacers, a partly filled beer can, a couple of plastic cups filled with liquid, a paper airplane and a miniature basketball came whistling out of the stands.
February 16, 2000 |
Calling John Rocker "an idiot," Toronto Blue Jays pitcher David Wells said the Atlanta reliever will need bodyguards to protect him from hostile fans. "People will throw stuff at him," Wells said yesterday at the Blue Jays' spring training camp in Dunedin, Fla. "If I was a bodyguard, I wouldn't even want to be around him. He isn't the president. Nobody will take a bullet for him, no matter how much money he pays them. " Rocker was suspended until May 1 by commissioner Bud Selig after saying in December he would never play for a New York team because he didn't want to ride a subway train "next to some queer with AIDS.