Joker

Q: I want to open a brokerage account, but the brokerages I've looked at require initial investments of between $1,000 and $5,000. What can I do? - R.W., Lexington, Ky.   A: Keep looking. Some brokerages don't have minimums. Others have modest ones. Scottrade and E-Trade, for example, require just $500 for some accounts. Commissions at many brokerages are now as low as $5 or $10 per trade, down from $30 to $50 a few years ago, and far better than the hundreds of dollars that some full-service brokerages still charge.

What frivolous fun is Laughter in Paradise, this naughty 1951 comedy about a notorious practical joker who dies and leaves a will that stipulates which various criminal and humiliating tasks each of his beneficiaries must fulfill in order to receive an inheritance. Just how low would you stoop for a high sum? In the cockamamie world of this British import, marriage seems considerably more larcenous than robbery, to name two of the stipulated tasks. And then, just how do you go about getting yourself put behind bars?

DESPITE FIERCE competition from a colorful Rogues Gallery that is arguably the best in comics, The Joker will continue to stand alone as Batman's No. 1 adversary. "That seems to be the case," said Image Comics' Erik Larsen. "Not for any thematic reason - he's not a mirror image of Batman or any of that nonsense - it's more a sense of him being the coolest character of the lot. " "No doubt," said 12 Gauge Comics' Keven Gardner. "Batman is order and The Joker lives to create chaos.

The first thing you notice about "Batman" is it doesn't live up to the hype. Big deal. No movie could. So forget the hype. Truth is, stacked up against the blockbuster summer retreads, "Batman" fills up the big screen like no other movie this season. The picture succeeds if for no other reason than it offers the largest helping of Jack Nicholson ever served to moviegoers in one sitting. Nicholson, who plays the Joker to Michael Keaton's Batman, has never been more commanding.

With "Batman" the movie winging its way to our city tomorrow, those who keep an eye on celebrity types worth keeping an eye on now must turn to the subject of Jerry Hall. The Nearly Mrs. Mick Jagger. Professional model, mother of two (produced during her 12 years of cohabitation with Mick), actress wannabe. Now that long, tall, Texas drink of water plays the gangster's moll Alicia, who romances Jack Nicholson's villainous "Joker" and comes to a very bad end. First off, how did she get a part, albeit a small one, in one of the most hugely hyped movies of all time?

Criminals are a "superstitious, cowardly lot," according to millionaire Bruce Wayne in Detective Comics #27, published in 1939. That's why he chose the bat as his costumed symbol. But in "The Dark Knight," things are more complicated in 21st century Gotham City, and director Christopher Nolan fine-tunes the character he created in 2005's "Batman Begins. " Gone is the childhood trauma of seeing his parents Thomas and Martha Wayne gunned down in cold blood. "The origin story is a very heavy story, but it very much binds you to the past," Nolan said.

What does it say about our spiritual void and urban fear that two of Hollywood's summer blockbusters are about the search for God and the other pair are about vigilantes' vanquishing bad vibes in Gotham? If Batman did nothing else but restore pulp-art shadow to the icon sanitized in his pop-art TV reincarnation, it would be an achievement. Tim Burton's Batman, starring a subdued Michael Keaton as you-know-who and a supercharged Jack Nicholson as the Joker, handily accomplishes that mission.

Shawn Casady on Elm Rock LLC's Zubantos won the $2,500 Junior Jumpers, Gambler's Choice on Friday evening at the Devon Horse Show and Country Fair. He was one of only three riders in the ribbons to jump the Joker fence. In the Gambler's Choice, each fence is given a point value according to its difficulty. At the end of the time allowed to jump the fences, riders have the option of jumping the Joker, gaining another 200 points if they jump it clean but losing 200 points if they have it down.

Riding an 8-year-old horse shown primarily in the amateur divisions, Beezie Patton pulled out all the stops to win last night's $10,000 Gambler's Choice class at the Devon Horse Show. In the Gambler's Choice, the rider plans his or her own route over the course. Last night's competition was scored as a speed class with faults converted into additional seconds. Riders could choose whether to negotiate the "joker" fence, and risk adding 6 seconds to their scores if it was knocked down, or benefit by subtracting 6 seconds from their scores if the "joker" was cleared.

Most of the great lines and scenes in Stanley Kubrick's "Full Metal Jacket" come straight from Gustav Hasford's startling Vietnam novel, "The Short-Timers. " The book has the line about how great it is to meet "interesting, stimulating people of an ancient culture . . . and kill them. " It's got, "Be the first kid on your block to get a confirmed kill. " It's got, "They've taken away our freedom and given it to the (Vietnamese), but the (Vietnamese) don't want it. They'd rather be alive than free.

Q: I want to open a brokerage account, but the brokerages I've looked at require initial investments of between $1,000 and $5,000. What can I do? - R.W., Lexington, Ky.   A: Keep looking. Some brokerages don't have minimums. Others have modest ones. Scottrade and E-Trade, for example, require just $500 for some accounts. Commissions at many brokerages are now as low as $5 or $10 per trade, down from $30 to $50 a few years ago, and far better than the hundreds of dollars that some full-service brokerages still charge.

When Jim Holland arrived in Philadelphia from Ireland in 1949, he had a wife to support and needed a job. But many potential employers made it clear they didn't want to hire him.   "No Irish Need Apply" signs often greeted him. But Jim was not one to be put off by that largely forgotten prejudice. He persisted and landed a job with a construction company. He then had one other obstacle to overcome: his wife. When the former Anna Duggan realized that her husband's job took him high up into tall buildings, she was horrified.

Shawn Casady on Elm Rock LLC's Zubantos won the $2,500 Junior Jumpers, Gambler's Choice on Friday evening at the Devon Horse Show and Country Fair. He was one of only three riders in the ribbons to jump the Joker fence. In the Gambler's Choice, each fence is given a point value according to its difficulty. At the end of the time allowed to jump the fences, riders have the option of jumping the Joker, gaining another 200 points if they jump it clean but losing 200 points if they have it down.

LUCKILY, MOST of them have day jobs. Otherwise, many of 15 or so pols who peddled jokes last night at Daily News columnist Stu Bykofsky's 21st annual "Candidate's Comedy Night" would be living on a steady diet of vending-machine snacks and ramen noodles. The guffaws - and occasional periods of awkward silence - were all in the name of a good cause: raising money for the children's charity the Variety Club. Bykofsky said the event has raised more than $425,000 over the years.

CLEARWATER, Fla. - When a reporter asked the group of five pitchers what their favorite suggested nickname for the Phillies' rotation was, Cliff Lee respectfully pointed out a problem. "We haven't heard one with five included yet," Lee said. Ah, yes, there are five pitchers. The fifth, Joe Blanton, made his first public comments after a winter of trade rumors. He could still be traded if the Phillies find the right deal, but for now Blanton is the fifth starter in a rotation of four aces.

The Eagles play their second preseason game Friday against the Cincinnati Bengals. The first-string offense and defense each will play a half, according to the big man, so we should get our first extended look at what this team should look like against Green Bay. What are you most looking forward to seeing from those units? Please keep your 85/81 jokes to a minimum. I'm looking forward to seeing the first-team defense on the field for more than six plays. And I'd like to see how the offense looks with a little time to get into the flow of a game without the players knowing they're going to get yanked right away.

It's clear Gov. Rendell is scrambling to make up for a drop in tax revenue, but his proposal to expand gambling to nearly every corner tavern across the state is a bad hand. The state has yet to demonstrate that it can properly regulate the handful of licensed slots parlors it already has, including two run by companies headed by ex-convicts. It's hard to envision the state Gaming Control Board having better control over video-poker machines in thousands of bars and private clubs across Pennsylvania.

Criminals are a "superstitious, cowardly lot," according to millionaire Bruce Wayne in Detective Comics #27, published in 1939. That's why he chose the bat as his costumed symbol. But in "The Dark Knight," things are more complicated in 21st century Gotham City, and director Christopher Nolan fine-tunes the character he created in 2005's "Batman Begins. " Gone is the childhood trauma of seeing his parents Thomas and Martha Wayne gunned down in cold blood. "The origin story is a very heavy story, but it very much binds you to the past," Nolan said.

DESPITE FIERCE competition from a colorful Rogues Gallery that is arguably the best in comics, The Joker will continue to stand alone as Batman's No. 1 adversary. "That seems to be the case," said Image Comics' Erik Larsen. "Not for any thematic reason - he's not a mirror image of Batman or any of that nonsense - it's more a sense of him being the coolest character of the lot. " "No doubt," said 12 Gauge Comics' Keven Gardner. "Batman is order and The Joker lives to create chaos.

Though already the most overexposed villain in comics, what appears to be a transcendent performance by Heath Ledger as The Joker in "The Dark Knight" should result in more interest in the character - and more comics featuring him - than ever. Though Batman's arch-foe figures prominently in recent, classic Batman storylines, such as "Dark Victory," "Hush" and "No Man's Land," those fans who really want some great Joker stories should check out the following: 1. "Batman: The Killing Joke.