April 2, 2015 |
THIS MAY HAVE been a disappointing year in Philadelphia sports, but mankind once again came through with plenty of missteps for our annual report on the year in fools. While social media was again a big contributor, there are plenty of other examples of man having the proverbial chair pulled out from under him. From KKK outfits to the stadium design that resembled a toilet, we certainly fumbled our way through these last 365 days. As always, we start with the easiest target in this annual exercise of tossing boulders from the living room of our glass house.
March 31, 1999 |
Many companies forbid April Fool's Day festivities. Based on real-life past experiences, it's not hard to see why. Some examples: Office doors covered with drywall to make it look like the offices never existed. Stripping an office of all its contents and furniture the night before April 1. A total systems shutdown simulation for a network administrator. Displaying banners that say the company has been bought by a competitor. These examples come from a survey of facility managers across the country by the International Facility Management Association.
August 24, 1994 |
Take my pulse . . . please! The jokes were deadly down in Old City last night at Daily News columnist Stu Bykofsky's 4th annual Candidates Comedy Night. If you weren't laughing, it was only because you don't appreciate a well- aimed fistful of mud. Thankfully, this event is for a good cause - namely, the Variety Club's charitable programs for children. Otherwise, the casual observer would be excused for wondering what possessed: GOP gubernatorial hopeful Tom Ridge to strip down to a cutoff denim jacket and bicycle shorts.
September 3, 1994
Last week in Philly, the major-party candidates for governor cracked wise at a Variety Club benefit. Republican Tom Ridge, clad in biking attire to spoof his campaign-opening ride across the state, listened while Democrat Mark Singel zinged him. It was a pretty good show. But somebody needs to tell these guys that Candidates' Comedy Night is over. The next day, the two campaigns launched into bizarre repartee over Mr. Ridge's use of a bicycle built outside of Pennsylvania. The Singel camp attacked, and the Ridge camp replied, with all the straight-faced depth of Pat Paulsen.
August 19, 2011 |
LUCKILY, MOST of them have day jobs. Otherwise, many of 15 or so pols who peddled jokes last night at Daily News columnist Stu Bykofsky's 21st annual "Candidate's Comedy Night" would be living on a steady diet of vending-machine snacks and ramen noodles. The guffaws - and occasional periods of awkward silence - were all in the name of a good cause: raising money for the children's charity the Variety Club. Bykofsky said the event has raised more than $425,000 over the years.
July 17, 2008 |
Bruce Wayne, gazillionaire playboy, performs a classic swan dive from his yacht into the sapphire sparkle of the Pacific. Batman, his caped-crusader alter ego, likewise executes a wide-wingspan swoop from the silvery pinnacle of a Gotham City skyscraper down, down, down into the urban murk. Can director Christopher Nolan make it any clearer that The Dark Knight, sequel to Batman Begins (2005), is about Batman's free fall from stratospheric heights to subterranean depths? Shakespearean but overlong, The Dark Knight is two hours of heady, involving action that devolves into a mind-numbing 32-minute epilogue.
January 2, 2003 |
N.D. Kalu, like the rest of his Eagles teammates, is hoping this season ends with a victory in San Diego in four weeks. Part of him is looking past the Super Bowl, past the entire off-season. "I'm looking forward to minicamps," the defensive end/linebacker said this week. "There are some things I really want to work on, like my drops [into pass coverage]. Right now, I know Jim [Johnson] holds his breath when I drop into coverage. I don't want him to have to worry about that next year.
December 19, 1991 |
Five days before he's sworn in to City Council, Jim Kenney will arrive at City Hall with pistols strapped to his side, bandoliers across his chest, his face hooded by a sequined sombrero - your basic Mexican bandit. "Type-casting," Kenney calls it. Yes, Councilman-elect Kenney is some kind of joker - a nimble Mummer who has danced his way up Broad Street for the past 15 years with the Jokers fancy brigade. "Let's see, last year was the weather (theme). I was a street dancer to 'Summer in the City.
January 5, 2001 |
The world's leading indoor Mummers will celebrate their latest victory this weekend on thrillin', chillin' Two Street. The Jokers New Year's Association, champions of the Fancy Brigade Division for the third time in four years, play host to the brigades' Serenade in front of their clubhouse, at South 2nd and Tasker streets, at 6 p.m. tomorrow. Serenade is a tradition in which the non-winning brigades sport their New Year's suits and perform outside the winners' clubhouse on the Saturday after the Mummers Parade.
May 11, 1994 |
Dennis Ellixson's first varsity pitching appearance came last year against Glen Mills on Peanut Day. He took the mound with music blaring and peanuts flying around the Glen Mills stands. There stood Ellixson, who had been handed the ball in the first inning by Sun Valley coach Bob Hofheinz after the starter had been rocked. It was a pressure situation for someone not used to pressure. Six innings later, Ellixson recorded his first varsity victory, and he hasn't stopped winning since.