CollectionsJokes
IN THE NEWS

Jokes

FEATURED ARTICLES
NEWS
October 2, 1987 | By HOWARD SCHNEIDER, Daily News Staff Writer
As jokes go it was a dumb one, even for City Councilman Thacher Longstreth, a connoisseur of cornball humor and practical pranks, and a target of jokes aimed at tall people, Quakers and argyle socks. Still, Longstreth's offhand wisecrack about a "Puerto Rican fireman" to Republican mayoral candidate Frank L. Rizzo, reported in Sunday's Inquirer Magazine, was elevated yesterday to a full-fledged feud over taste and race relations in the mayoral campaign. In a letter to Longstreth, City Councilman Angel Ortiz lambasted the "cruel" remark, and said it echoed the ethnic insensitivity that would flourish if Rizzo defeats Mayor Goode in November.
ENTERTAINMENT
October 23, 1993 | By Clifford A. Ridley, INQUIRER THEATER CRITIC
Ah, children. How often they fail to meet our expectations, yet we love 'em just the same. "You throws the dice," says Walter Gold, the paterfamilias in Jonathan Tolins' new comedy-drama at the Booth Theatre, "and you takes your chances. " But what if you didn't have to take your chances? What if, through prenatal genetic testing, you could identify your kids' predispositions in utero? What if, for instance, you could predict with near-certainty that your son-to-be will grow up (gasp!
NEWS
March 5, 1990 | By Jonathan Storm, Inquirer Staff Writer
His and Hers, the smarmy little sitcom premiering tonight on CBS (Channel 10 at 10:30), stars Martin Mull and Stephanie Faracy. He and she should keep it to themselves. Tonight's riotous theme is getting pregnant. Marty and Steph, newly married marriage counselors, have been trying for six months to no avail. The jokes come from the sperm-count genre: "Your little guys aren't swimming," says the cutie-pie Faracy to Mull. "They're just sort of paddling in place. " Help me, my ribs are aching.
NEWS
February 17, 2013 | By Laura Mills, Associated Press
CHELYABINSK, Russia - As a small army of people worked to replace acres of windows shattered by the enormous explosion from a meteor, many joked Saturday about what had happened in this troubled pocket of Russia. One of the most popular jests: Residents of the meteor were terrified to see Chelyabinsk approaching. The fireball that streaked into the sky over this tough industrial city about sunrise Friday was undeniably traumatic. Nearly 1,200 people were reported injured by the shock wave from the explosion, estimated to be as strong as 20 Hiroshima atomic bombs.
NEWS
October 28, 2011 | By Marie McCullough, Inquirer Staff Writer
University of Pennsylvania orthopedic surgeon John D. Kelly IV says the monthly humor column he writes for a medical trade magazine was due, so he "threw some jokes together" about fat patients. "You should worry about performing surgery on the supersized," Kelly riffed in that August piece, if "there is a comma in your patient's body weight. " Or if a patient "wears his wristwatch on his finger," needs "a blood pressure cuff the size of Montana," or "has more chins than a Chinese phone book.
NEWS
September 3, 1987 | Daily News Wire Services
Heeeere's Johnny, up to his tort in a $5 million lawsuit by a Long Island dentist who doesn't think the dentist jokes told by the talk show king are funny. Johnny Carson hit a nerve, says Melville, N.Y., dentist Michael Mendelson in papers filed in Manhattan Supreme Court yesterday, when he told viewers of his April 18, 1986, show: "Imagine dentists going out of business. I haven't been so happy about a group disbanding since the Gestapo. " Mendelson fired off a letter to Carson demanding a "smirk-free public apology.
NEWS
May 10, 1999 | by Ann McFeatters
When it seems as if the world is too exhausting to keep up with or too frightening, as it has been lately, it's time to turn to a favorite source of chuckles - our national politicians. It's no longer Washington's little secret, but those late-night TV talk-show hosts wield enormous power. And they wield it relentlessly, night after night. All political consultants tell their bosses here that too long a stretch as the butt of jokes by a Conan O'Brien or a Jay Leno (it used to be called the Johnny Carson rule of politics)
NEWS
April 11, 1991 | By Clifford A. Ridley, Inquirer Theater Critic
In I Hate Hamlet, which opened April 8 at the Walter Kerr Theater, the jokes racket across the footlights like automatic-weapons fire - good jokes and bad jokes, old jokes and new jokes, New York jokes and California jokes, sex jokes and no-sex jokes, theater jokes and - well, more theater jokes. Many more theater jokes. Will the show play in Peoria? Shoot, it's so inbred that it could barely play the East Side. Still, Paul Rudnick's new comedy is fun while the jokes hold out, which is roughly one act. The cast is agreeable, the premise amusing.
NEWS
May 13, 1998 | Daily News Wire Services
Before Jerry Seinfeld brings his standup to Broadway this summer, he'll fine-tune the act with an out-of-town stint - way out of town. According to sources familiar with the comic's plan, he'll perform in such locations as Iceland and London as a warmup to his limited Broadway run. The show, titled "I'm Telling You for the Last Time," is scheduled to hit New York for a four- or five-day run in August, culminating with an Aug. 9 live telecast...
NEWS
September 28, 2001 | NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Jokes aimed at President Bush, a regular feature on NBC's Saturday Night Live, will be sidelined for this weekend's season opener, executive producer Lorne Michaels says. "We won't do anything that attempts to undermine President Bush's authority or that is in any way disrespectful," Michaels said Wednesday. "We'll try to reflect what the country is thinking and feeling at that moment on the night of Sept. 29," Michaels said. "I think New Yorkers have been resilient, generous and tough through all of this.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next »
ARTICLES BY DATE
SPORTS
August 25, 2016 | By Les Bowen, STAFF WRITER
T HIRTY OR so years later, Jim Schwartz remembers his former Georgetown teammate as being "really serious, someone who worked hard. " That isn't exactly the persona comedian Jim Gaffigan portrays today. Gaffigan, who announced Monday that his TV Land show won't have a third season, by his choice, has made a career of playing a certain type of white-bread, mid-American schlub; there's a line of dad-comedy-style car commercials, and a vaguely creepy portrayal of Colonel Sanders on behalf of KFC. "I saw him just this summer" in Maryland, said Schwartz, who is from Baltimore and has a shore house near there.
BUSINESS
July 5, 2016 | By Jonathan Takiff, Staff Writer
Dave Chappelle never just phones it in. The comic is always improvising, said his new friend Graham Dugoni. Fans lucky to score Chappelle tickets for shows Tuesday and Wednesday at the new Punch Line Philly comedy club in Fishtown will be required to do the same, living in the moment by going "phone-free" and concentrating "Yondr" on the talent. For this, all praise and maybe a few curses are due to a Dugoni invention of the same name, Yondr, which Chappelle now uses to protect his routine from getting posted online.
ENTERTAINMENT
June 25, 2016 | By Nick Cristiano, Staff Writer
Are you ready for this country? "My goal was to make the best country album of the year and make it completely unplayable. So I achieved my goal," Wheeler Walker Jr. says. "It's a pretty dumb goal. " Speaking from a van headed to New Orleans from Dallas, the singer, who plays the Foundry at the Fillmore Saturday, is discussing his deeply country - and outrageously filthy - debut album, Redneck S - . The album gets no radio play. You can't buy it at Walmart, and you won't see Walker on TV - nearly all the song titles are unprintable here.
NEWS
May 15, 2016 | By Molly Eichel, Staff Writer
When Mel Brooks introduces one of movies - as he will when he screens Blazing Saddles at the Academy of Music on Saturday, May 21 - he insists on staying for the whole show. Why? He likes to hear people laugh. The event at the Academy of Music will start with Brooks introducing the 1974 comedy western, followed by a screening of the film, and then a lively conversation afterward with Brooks about his life and the movie. Brooks talked about why he wants to watch people watch Blazing Saddles , growing up in Brooklyn, and hanging out with Carl Reiner.
NEWS
May 13, 2016 | By Tirdad Derakhshani, Staff Writer
Bad taste: Woody Allen joke Ah! The Cannes Film Festival, bastion of art, high learning and . . . rape jokes. Just ask Woody Allen . The auteur on Wednesday had the honor of opening the fest with his new pic, Café Society . But honor wasn't exactly on the mind of French actor Laurent Lafitte , who hosted the fest's opening ceremony. "It gives me pleasure to see you because you've filmed so much in Europe and you haven't even been convicted of rape in the U.S.A.," Lafitte said, referring to decades-long accusations that Allen, 80, sexually abused his adopted daughter Dylan Farrow . Lafitte compared Allen to Roman Polanski , who fled to Europe after being convicted in America of raping a teen.
SPORTS
April 28, 2016
TOM CONDON sounded like a man doing a job he didn't want to do. On Monday, Condon executed a four-minute interview on Sirius XM radio in defense of his client, Sam Bradford, who, earlier that day began his boycott of the Eagles' voluntary offseason program in the hopes of forcing a trade. Bradford was upset that the Eagles traded from the No. 8 to the No. 2 spot and announced they would draft a quarterback; most likely, Carson Wentz. Condon, as his agent, was tasked to defend it. In the defense, Condon painted Bradford as a mediocre quarterback who is terrified of competition, is unsure that he will play well and, if he does not play well, is scared that the fans will call for his head.
ENTERTAINMENT
February 17, 2016 | By Jim Rutter, For The Inquirer
Something must explain the persistence of The Philly Fan . In 2004, veteran actor Tom McCarthy first performed in Bruce Graham's one-man homage to Philadelphia sports franchises and their propensity to flub the big game, and this show has regularly reappeared on area stages ever since. But if you listened to the language (or paid attention to the demographics) of McCarthy's unnamed narrator, you'd think he was headed for extinction. The Philly Fan chronicles 50 years of attendance at Connie Mack Stadium, the Vet, the Spectrum, Franklin Field, and later, Lincoln Financial Field and the FU (First Union)
ENTERTAINMENT
February 3, 2016 | By Molly Eichel, Staff Writer
After Mad About You ended its run in 1999, Paul Reiser went from playing Affable Sitcom Guy to Affable Stay-at-Home Dad. But recently, and without much planning, he's experiencing a late-career resurgence. Movie and TV parts started coming his way: In Whiplash , he played the emasculated father of Miles Teller's manic musician. In Amazon's 1980s-set Red Oaks , he's the prickly Wall Street shark with a soft spot for the adrift hero. The series was recently picked up for a second season.
NEWS
January 29, 2016 | By Patrick Rapa, For The Inquirer
If you ask Cameron Esposito, seeing your face on a movie screen isn't nearly as thrilling as seeing your name. The Chicago-born, L.A.-based stand-up comic known for her amicably in-your-face style, personal anecdotes, and swooping "side-mullet" has recently started to diversify. She just got back from the Sundance Film Festival, where two films by young directors - J.D. Dillard's Sleight and Kerem Sanga's First Girl I Loved - featured her in supporting roles. "Because of my stand-up stuff, and how much of my career involves promoting yourself as a brand, I see my face a lot," she said in a recent interview while on the ride home from LAX. "But one thing I haven't seen a bunch is my name on a single title card.
NEWS
January 22, 2016 | Molly Eichel, Staff Writer
After the success of The Hangover , Zach Galifianakis could have spent the rest of his comedy career playing a detached-from-reality man-child in big-budget comedies. If it worked once in The Hangover (not to mention two sequels), why not keep the dough rolling in by playing the weirdo sidekicks of attractive celebs (such as Robert Downey Jr. in Due Date ) and comedy superstars (such as Will Ferrell in The Campaign )? But instead of playing the same character over and over (as his former costar Ferrell seems wont to do)
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next »
|
|
|
|
|