Lobster

Lobster tail and prime rib. Hazelnut-crusted chicken breasts and linzer bites. Make-your-own tacos and tiramisu. Filet mignon sandwiches and sushi. That's what some lucky working stiffs will be eating on the job on New Year's Eve. Most companies that plan to keep staff on through the midnight hour are offering meal perks of some sort, running the gamut from simple continental breakfasts or deli trays to lavish buffets with made-to-order entrees. We've taken a sneak peek at some corporate Y2K rations, and were cheered to note that there wasn't a bag of dried fruit in the bunch.

I JUST don't get it: After $34 billion in profits last year and $9 billion for the first quarter, Exxon is still the most expensive guy on the block. Crude oil was down for a few days, but up at the pump! I thought Exxon was the biggest and best, don't they have a major input on market prices? I believe in making money, but how about giving a little back to the people who put them in their lavish lifestyles? Never mind. Memorial Day is here, and I guess they'll jack us at the pumps so they can have their lobster bakes at their beach mansions.

Daily News Design Editor John Sherlock is a foodie and former prep chef who swears by this compassionate method of offing a lobster: 1. Hold the live lobster by the tail and spread claws. Lift tail up so the lobster is "nose"-down on a hard surface. 2. With your finger or the back of a spoon, gently rub the ridge of the back shell from where the tail meets the ridge toward the pointy tip of the lobster's head. 3. Rub back and forth gently about 10 times and the lobster will go limp.

Deep in the heart of the Food Distribution Center, deep in the shadow of the Walt Whitman Bridge, Morty Krouse sits in a refrigerated room at Century Seafoods and plays "Ebb Tide" on his electric piano for an audience of live lobsters. He is bundled up in a bulky black overcoat against the penetrating cold. He is wearing a black-and-white Century Seafoods golf cap and black-rimmed glasses. His eyebrows tend to scrunch up and form protective peaked roofs over his hazel eyes whenever he's singing a particularly poignant lyric.

Imagine crab salad. Imagine grilled lobster tails. Imagine selling a few shares of Genentech Inc. to pay for these meals, especially if they are nondeductible, family affairs. Imagine an alternative. To the crab. To the lobster. To the sell order. More than 10 years ago, food merchant David Berelson introduced imitation crab - a 1,500-year-old Japanese processed fish food product -to a U.S. market generally unaware of surimi but eager for a reasonably priced alternative to crab.

YOU ALWAYS remember your first. I was a wide-eyed 8-year-old, dining at Dome of the Sea, the only fancy seafood restaurant in the Las Vegas desert of my childhood. The taste of that first sweet morsel was a revelation, a toothsome bite shiny with drawn butter. It felt foreign and fancy, an ordeal complicated by claw crackers and a bib. But, wow, was it worth it. Even the Dome's harp-playing mermaid couldn't top that delicious experience. For most of us, a lobster dinner has long been associated with a special-occasion splurge, though it's common in Maine and Cape Cod as a summertime treat.

In last Sunday's column on the city's long, sorry struggle to compose a proper Maine lobster roll, I applauded a hard-won victory: at the revived Oyster House, at 15th and Sansom, they'd finally pulled it off. It was cause for congratulation, indeed, and relief. The hot dog bun was top-split, buttered, and griddled in the manner of the New England classic. The lobster was big, succulent nuggets, not a stringy lobster salad. Best of all, it was the sole local example of the genuine item that I'd found in years.

A Philadelphia team managed to "fly" nearly 40 feet atop a giant "lobster" on Saturday to win first place in the Red Bull Flugtag, a competition of wacky, homemade flying machines launched from a 30-foot platform on the Camden waterfront. The team, known as New Kids on the Dock, defeated about 30 others with its humongous crustacean. Under the rules of flugtag - "flying day" in German - teams are scored for staying aloft, presentation, and a 30-second song and dance they must perform before "taking flight.

Even big-time DJs can benefit from a good old-fashioned lesson in humility every once in while. When DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince (a/k/a Will Smith) won their first American Music Award, they were on top of the world. Jeffrey Townes, 33, remembers celebrating with family and friends in his West Philadelphia home after bagging one of pop music's most prestigious prizes. And just when he was feeling like the hottest thing since sliced bread, his mother Sarah asked for the dough.

'TIS THE SEASON for another Italian tradition, the Feast of Seven Fishes, usually served Christmas Eve and sometimes involving up to 13 - but never 40! - courses. Did we say this was an Italian tradition? Some say Italian-Americans came up with the idea to show folks back in the Old Country how good life was here. However it started, the custom's pretty entrenched around these parts now. Here's how several local restaurants are observing: * Northern Italian restaurant Le Castagne (1920 Chestnut St., 215-751-9913, lecastagne.com )

A Philadelphia team managed to "fly" nearly 40 feet atop a giant "lobster" Saturday to win first place in the Red Bull Flugtag, a competition of wacky, homemade flying machines launched from a 30-foot platform on the Camden waterfront. The team, known as New Kids on the Dock, defeated about 30 others with its humongous crustacean. Under the rules of flugtag - "flying day" in German - teams are scored for staying aloft, presentation, and a 30-second song and dance they must perform before "taking flight.

PORTLAND, Maine - Tensions between lobstermen in Maine and Canada are boiling over in a dispute caused not by too few lobsters but by too many. A potentially record-breaking haul in Maine and Canada this year has caused a market glut and a crash in wholesale prices. Fearing for their livelihood, Canadian fishermen in the last few days have angrily blocked truckloads of Maine lobsters from being delivered to processing plants in Canada that turn out lobster products for U.S. supermarkets and restaurants.

MARK PHILIPPOUSSIS' singles victory led the Freedoms to an 18-17 win over the Boston Lobsters in World Team Tennis action at the Villanova Pavilion on Wednesday night. Philippoussis, making his first league appearance of the season, beat Jan-Michael Gambill, 5-3, in the final match of the evening as the Freedoms improved to 5-7. In men's doubles, Philippoussis teamed with Jordan Kerr to lead the Freedoms to a 5-2 win over Gambill and Eric Butorac. The Freedoms also won mixed doubles as Philippoussis paired with Kristyna Pliskova in a 5-2 win over Butorac and Irina Falconi.

Chilled Lobster & Shrimp Spring Rolls Company Description: "With cool salsa verde, aromatic lemongrass and sweet-hot red chili. Chain: Seasons 52. Calories: 270. That's right, 270. The shrimp and lobster do bring along 82 mgs. of cholesterol and 1,458 mgs. of salt, but this is otherwise a low-fat, low-sugar dish with 38 grams of carbs. Location: The Cherry Hill Mall. Price: $10.95 Review: If you've never been to a Seasons 52 (there's also one in King of Prussia)

Revel, Revel, Revel . . . . That's all the noise one hears these days coming from the Jersey Shore - especially when it concerns new prospects for dining. Granted, the gleaming $2.4 billion tower of Atlantic City's latest casino resort is hard to miss. And with more than a dozen restaurant concepts involving some very big names, its spring debut has no doubt been the biggest food news to hit this casino town since the Borgata began A.C.'s high-end remake. Jose Garces should have Philadelphians' attention right off the bat with three restaurants: an outsize version of Amada with ocean views and flamenco; a jumbo Village Whiskey clone for gourmet burgers and booze; plus Nuevo Mex concept with a Distrito Cantina serving margaritas and a replica Guapo's Taco truck.

WISCASSET, Maine - "Do we have to eat a lobster roll now ?! We're eating dinner in an hour," said my wife, Elizabeth, ever the practical one. "And, by the way, aren't we on a vacation?" Indeed, we'd come to the coast of Maine for a late-summer family getaway - not the all-lobster-all-the-time eating marathon this trip was quickly shaping up to be. And yet, by some minor miracle, there was only a 20-minute line at Red's Eats , the legendary lobster-roll shack that routinely clogs Route 1 traffic at the base of the bridge leading into this postcard-perfect coastal village.

Nine minutes was all it took for Boston's James Blake to dispatch the Freedoms' Brendan Evans in World TeamTennis men's singles play last night. As a result, the Freedoms (0-4) still seek their first win of the season, falling to the Lobsters, 22-16, at the Fencroft Country Club in Middleton, Mass. Philadelphia native Julia Cohen defeated Coco Vanderweghe in women's singles, 5-3. In women's doubles, Cohen paired with Beatrice Capra to defeat Vanderweghe and Mashona Washington, 5-4. The Freedoms will look for their first win of the season tonight when they visit the Saint Louis Aces.

Dining with a water view in Las Vegas generally means nachos and a mojito at a hotel swimming pool. But at Marche Bacchus, a bistro-style restaurant in the northwest part of the city, it's the real deal. Marche Bacchus is in Desert Shores, a master-planned community about 10 miles from the Vegas Strip that is set around four elongated man-made lakes. The restaurant's dining terrace looks out over one of them. Owners Jeff and Rhonda Wyatt have been sprucing up the terrace and tweaking the menu since they bought the restaurant four years ago. "We live right there near the restaurant, and we were customers," Rhonda Wyatt says.