Marla Maples

Marla Maples - perhaps the best vex Donald Trump ever had - has made it onto Marjabelle Stewart's list of the 10 best-mannered Americans. Why? Because she "did not kiss and tell," says Stewart. The list was based on nominations from "people who deal with high-profile people" - such as maitre d's and hairstylists. Also winning the white-glove award were George Bush (because he still writes his own thank- you notes), Barbara Bush, Helen Hayes, U.S. Chief of Protocol Joseph Reed, Jane Pauley, Jack Lemmon, UPI White House correspondent Helen Thomas plus congresswomen Lindy Boggs (D., La.)

Marla Maples' father has encouraged his daughter to pump Donald Trump for some green for her planned appearance at the April 5 grand opening of his Taj Mahal in Atlantic City, but she's having none of it. "I said everybody but the family is making money off her situation, and it was time for her to get some monetary benefits," Stan Maples said from his Dalton, Ga., home Thursday. "She said, 'No way, with he (Trump) being such a good person' could she do that to him. And that just shows you what kind of person she is. " Trump's people have confirmed that Marla Maples would star at the Taj Mahal opening, but a spokesman insisted, "She is not his date.

Marla loves Donald. "I do love him," Marla Maples said of Donald Trump last night on national television. "I can't lie about it. Oh, I do. " Maples, rumored to be the other woman in the split-up of Donald and Ivana, was interviewed by Diane Sawyer on ABC's Prime Time Live. Asked if she talked with Trump about marriage, Maples replied: "No. He's a friend. . . . He has a family and that's No. 1 to him, I know. " Was she the reason for the Trump split? "Only the two of them know what really went wrong with their marriage.

Tiffany Trump - has a nice ring - Marla Maples' first child and Donald Trump's fourth, arrived yesterday at 12:50 p.m. at St. Mary's Hospital in Palm Beach, Fla. She checked in at 7 1/2 pounds and the Deal Artist was present at the birth. The name was Trump's choice. His spokeswoman said it's a tribute to one of his business conquests - his purchase of the air rights above Tiffany's in Manhattan - which cleared the way for his Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue. "He's thrilled," she added.

People frequently ask me, "Dave, what has gone wrong with America, anyways?" And I always reply: "What has gone wrong is that over in Germany and Japan, people are interested in computers, robots and other high- technology concepts, whereas here in America people are interested in whether MARLA MAPLES had her breasts augmented. " Let me stress that I am not mentioning MARLA MAPLES in capital letters because I wish to boost the readership of this column. I am mentioning MARLA MAPLES and her possible BREAST AUGMENTATION because I think it's pretty pathetic that this once-great nation - a nation that produced technological geniuses such as Thomas Edison, Henry Ford and Mister Wizard - has become so technologically illiterate that according to a survey, 74 percent of all Americans agree with the statement that a fax machine works by "sending rolled-up paper through a wire.

Words of wisdom (and otherwise) from TV personality Jay Leno: Nancy Reagan turned 70 recently, which makes her our third oldest former president. Marla Maples assures us she's marrying Donald Trump for love, not money. Of course. Everyone knows you marry for love. You divorce for money. The most popular TV show in the Soviet Union is the Flintstones. Of course they don't actually call it the Flintstones; over there it's Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. A new study shows that men's brains shrink up to 20 percent as they age. That means that Dan Quayle has already peaked!

For those who thought that the media's coverage of the Trumps' marital difficulties was a tad excessive, there is this encouraging news: You are not alone. A poll conducted for the Times Mirror Center for the People and the Press found 55 percent of Americans believe there was too much news about the Trumps. This was "by far the largest 'over-covered' rating" since the organization began doing such polling in 1986. But wait. Just because Americans were appalled doesn't mean that they weren't paying attention.

Columnist Jeff Greenfield slyly observed last week that while tabloid newspapers unabashedly wallow in juicy stories like the Trump split, the more respectable news outlets feel obliged to "impose highbrow significance on low-brow revelry" - to seek important sociological meaning in a story as unredeeming as Mr. Trump's reported dalliance with the lovely Marla Maples. Hardly were the words out of his typewriter when Time magazine came out with this week's cover story on "Gossip: Where does it come from - and why does America love it?"

Speaking of personal responsibility among the rich and infamous, look how long it took Donald Trump to own up to his own obligations and marry the mother of his latest child. Four years after his extramarital affair with Marla Maples burst into public, three years after announcing his divorce and two months after the birth of tiny Tiffany, The Donald finally did the honorable thing and married Miss Maples. And are we relieved! Considering how American society is hurt by a breakdown in family values, we're glad to know that even someone as tacky as Mr. Trump decided it was declasse to be just another absent father.

If it's for real and for ever, who's to say that anyone shouldn't be wed? Still and all, some celebrity love matches really don't click with their images or the public. Some of those we don't find out about until they're history. Here are a few marriages that have mixed us up over the years: Shannon Doherty and Ashley Hamilton Donald Trump and Marla Maples Liz Taylor and Larry Fortensky Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold (and Kim Silva) Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger Sean Penn and Madonna Sylvester Stallone and Brigitte Nielsen Herve and Camille Villechaize Prince Charles and Diana Spencer Cher and Gregg Allman Tiny Tim and "Miss Vicky" Budinger Ike and Tina Turner Mia Farrow and Frank Sinatra Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine Rock Hudson and Phyllis Gates (his agent's secretary)

Everyone knows that if you're going out carousing on St. Patrick's Day, you need something substantial in your stomach - like, say, Conan O'Brien's St. Patrick's Day lamb stew, a recipe Good Housekeeping helpfully printed in this month's issue, alongside a picture of the late-night talk-show host. One problem: As O'Brien, appropriately adorned with a green tie, pointed out on Monday's show, "I've never cooked anything in my life. I didn't send it to them. They just made it up. It's got all this stuff in it I've never even heard of. " (Ah, the bane of parsnips.

The Donald has a new apprentice - but he won't be firing this one anytime soon. Barron William Trump emerged yesterday morning, so to speak, the fifth offspring of billionaire developer Donald Trump and his littlest apprentice. The reality-TV star told Don Imus on national television Monday that his wife, Melania Knauss Trump, had given birth 20 minutes earlier to a boy. "Everyone's perfect," Trump said in a telephone interview on MSNBC's Imus in the Morning. In a statement on her Web site, the new mom said the youngest Trump weighed in at 8 1/2 pounds and was 21 inches long.

ONE OF THE problems with men being able to procreate into their social security years is that Donald Trump can continue to marry younger woman and keep having children. Yes, there's going to be a new "Apprentice. " Trump's spokeswoman said yesterday - as if Trump has trouble speaking for himself - that the 59-year-old pizza pitchman's wife, Melania, is pregnant. "The baby is due in the spring," said Norma Foerderer. It would be the first child for the 35-year-old Melania, who wed Trump in January.

What was it about the case that caught their eye? The plight of the widow, former Playboy model Anna Nicole Smith? The possibility of a made-for-cable reality series starring nine people in black robes? The Supreme Court said yesterday that it would hear the stripper-turned-TV-star's case concerning the $474 million fortune of her 90-year-old late husband, oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II. Smith, a self-described blond bombshell whose eccentricities and weight issues were the subject of a reality series, married Marshall in 1994 when he was 89 and she was 26. A ruling by a bankruptcy judge awarded the inheritance to Smith a decade ago. Her stepson, E. Pierce Marshall, has been fighting for the money in various courts ever since.

Bizman: I'm suing Trump over wedding chandeliers FINALLY, SOME good dirt on the Donald TrumpMelania Knauss wedding. According to the Palm Beach Post, the man who supplied three fancy chandeliers for Trump's opulent Mar-a-Lago ballroom says he's going to sue Trump because he's not been paid. (By the way, since wife No. 2 Marla Maples has now been officially replaced, shouldn't Donald rename the property Mel-a-Lago?) Anyway, unlike all the suck-up snookered vendors who thought they were doing the Starr Jones wedding and gave Mr. Billionaire free food, transportation, jewelry and clothes, Nicolas Jacobsen of Classic Chandeliers expected to be paid for his merchandise.

WITH THE "FRIENDS" finale less than a week away, Las Vegas oddsmakers are on the case. As reported in the Las Vegas Sun's "VegasBeat," Johnny Avello, oddsmaker at the Paris Hotel has issued the following odds: (Tattle reminds you that these odds are for entertainment purposes, not actual gambling.) Even money: Ross goes to Paris with Rachel and Emma. 2-to-1: Rachel goes to Paris with Emma and leaves Ross behind. 3-to-1: Rachel decides at the last minute to stay in New York and she and Ross get married.

WHILE RUMORS have Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck already saying "I do," a new development has surfaced that has the filmmaking lovebirds playing house in our loving city. Currently cohabitating at the Pheonix while filming Kevin Smith's "Jersey Girl," they've rented an entire floor in the Center City building, for $17,000 per month. A source tells Us Weekly that "they almost never leave [the building] or return solo. " Affleck, 30, and Lopez, 32, "can't keep their [hands] off each other," and are constantly "holding hands, cuddling and hugging when in the lobby," Us reports.

And now, a few words on behalf of adulterers. OK, not really. But on behalf, certainly, of their right to deal with their marital messes in something resembling privacy. Granted, when the affair in question involves a public figure like Jesse Jackson - or President Clinton or Meg Ryan or any of the other members of the revolving cast of bed-hopping characters who seem to populate Hollywood and Washington alike - privacy is a tall order. Even though we applaud people for seeking it. Some years ago, when Jesse Jackson was running for president, and rumors of infidelity were suddenly being spoken aloud rather than whispered, his wife, Jackie, indignantly stepped forward.

QUOTE "It was really being in the right place at the right time with a back injury. " - Thandie Newton, on the dance injury that gave her the down time that led to her starring role in "M:I-2. " Nearly a year after John F. Kennedy Jr.'s death, Fox Television Pictures has optioned the rights to the 1999 best-seller "Prince Charming: The John F. Kennedy Jr. Story" by Wendy Leigh. The two-hour movie is expected to air on Fox early next year, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

The American people," intoned Jesse Helms, are annoyed by "a lack of gratitude" from the United Nations. Not "I, Jesse Helms," but "the American people," he told the U.N. Security Council in what U.S. Ambassador Richard Holbrooke had hoped would be an olive-branch session. Some olive branch! Besides finding the U.N. ungrateful, Helms added, "the American people . . . resent" what he called the U.N. General Assembly's anti-American bias and the U.N.'s intent "to impose its presumed authority on the American people without their consent.